How to handle a miscarriage at work

[Anonymous]

I started miscarrying today. It isn’t unexpected- I knew at my 8 week ultrasound that the fetus stopped growing at 6 weeks. It was really heavy this morning but now it’s tapered off. This isn’t my first miscarriage and I don’t feel like I’ve passed everything. The problem is that I have to go to work on Monday and I’m worried it still won’t be complete tomorrow. I have a staff of 41 people and most are going to be out of work with the shutdown. Our company is covering them with leave for the first week but there are some things that we need to discuss and everyone needs to be in the office for the first half of the day.

Have any of you had a miscarriage at work? What can I do to carry on for the few hours we’ll be in the office? I figured I need to wear all black and be prepared with some adult diapers but I don’t know what else to do.

[Anonymous]

Take. A. Couple. Of. Sick. Days.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Is there a reason you choose not to have a D&C? Hopefully this won't happen again but that could allow you to plan. Friday D&C, weekend recovery. From a practicality standpoint, I would recommend depends. It'll make sure you don't bleed through your clothing. Pain medication as needed.

[Anonymous]

Monday is a long ways off. My guess is that tomorrow will be lighter than today and Monday will be lighter than Sunday.

Or as PP suggested, take the day off as sick leave.

I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Depends on your access to a bathroom. With my various miscarriages I pretty much had to run to the bathroom once an hour to pass whatever. But usually that only lasted a day or two and after that was just heavy bleeding, manageable with a pad. If you are passing tissue for more than 2-3 days, I'd call your doctor.

Sick leave probably is best, though I understand it's hard with the shutdown and you would understandably be reluctant to disclose the miscarriage. I came close to a similar situation myself with my last miscarriage -- suspected ectopic and they insisted methotrexate had to be scheduled for a Tuesday that I had an oral argument. I was NOT looking forward to giving a reason to my boss -- or the court -- for that one. Fortunately I miscarried naturally the day before.

It really comes down to either toughing it out with lots of pads and hourly bathroom checks, or sick leave and likely telling them the reason. (Although, if you are a nonessential fed, you will not be allowed to take sick leave -- you would simply not report in and not be paid. No leave is permitted during the shutdown.)

[Anonymous]

Sorry op. Hopefully most of it happens this weekend

[Anonymous]

Sorry about your MC. Please take Monday off. Let your body process itself in peace.

[Anonymous]

I m/c'd (in September) and it began on a Saturday morning. the worst of it was over by Sunday night, and I probably should have just not gone to work on Monday morning, but I had a hearing that I didn't want to pass off. At that point I was only changing pads 1x/2-3 hours so it worked out fine, and I went home right after the hearing. If your bleeding hasn't tapered off, though, I would say you should stay at home. So sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Stay home. Mine started at work on a weds. Thought it was iver thurs night. Luckily before I got in the shower friday morning all hell broke loose. I was in the ER hemorrhaging friday afternoon. Take a few days. I was only 6w2d.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. I’ve gone through this twice.
I had my miscarriage at work since I didn’t know better. The night before were terrible cramps for 2-3 hrs and I passed some tissue and I thought it was done as I felt much better. At work at about 10 am I passed the rest but it was not at all painful. Just very gory. I made it to the bathroom but already had the 8 hr pads in.
I think if you already had all the major pain your cervix is open and it’ll just be messy but not as painful. I did feel faint and almost passed out. So depending on your commute it really may be bette to be home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your access to a bathroom. With my various miscarriages I pretty much had to run to the bathroom once an hour to pass whatever. But usually that only lasted a day or two and after that was just heavy bleeding, manageable with a pad. If you are passing tissue for more than 2-3 days, I'd call your doctor.

Sick leave probably is best, though I understand it's hard with the shutdown and you would understandably be reluctant to disclose the miscarriage. I came close to a similar situation myself with my last miscarriage -- suspected ectopic and they insisted methotrexate had to be scheduled for a Tuesday that I had an oral argument. I was NOT looking forward to giving a reason to my boss -- or the court -- for that one. Fortunately I miscarried naturally the day before.

It really comes down to either toughing it out with lots of pads and hourly bathroom checks, or sick leave and likely telling them the reason. (Although, if you are a nonessential fed, you will not be allowed to take sick leave -- you would simply not report in and not be paid. No leave is permitted during the shutdown.)

When did we get to the point that a woman cannot take a sick day when she had miscarriage?

[Anonymous]

I flew to California to take a deposition while miscarrying.

It was fine physically but emotionally I probably made a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your access to a bathroom. With my various miscarriages I pretty much had to run to the bathroom once an hour to pass whatever. But usually that only lasted a day or two and after that was just heavy bleeding, manageable with a pad. If you are passing tissue for more than 2-3 days, I'd call your doctor.

Sick leave probably is best, though I understand it's hard with the shutdown and you would understandably be reluctant to disclose the miscarriage. I came close to a similar situation myself with my last miscarriage -- suspected ectopic and they insisted methotrexate had to be scheduled for a Tuesday that I had an oral argument. I was NOT looking forward to giving a reason to my boss -- or the court -- for that one. Fortunately I miscarried naturally the day before.

It really comes down to either toughing it out with lots of pads and hourly bathroom checks, or sick leave and likely telling them the reason. (Although, if you are a nonessential fed, you will not be allowed to take sick leave -- you would simply not report in and not be paid. No leave is permitted during the shutdown.)

When did we get to the point that a woman cannot take a sick day when she had miscarriage?

You can, of course, but many work places will require you to give a reason -- or at least doing so would be prudent if you are high up in your organization and don't want to be seen as a slacker when an important project is at stake. I don't know about you, but acknowledging miscarriage (or early pregnancy) is not something I'm interested in doing at work.

And the no sick leave if shut down is the law. If the government is shut down, all fed leave is canceled. Of course you don't report for work. But you can't call it sick leave, either. In the government you can't just take a "sick day"; you have to accrue and use actual hours of sick leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your access to a bathroom. With my various miscarriages I pretty much had to run to the bathroom once an hour to pass whatever. But usually that only lasted a day or two and after that was just heavy bleeding, manageable with a pad. If you are passing tissue for more than 2-3 days, I'd call your doctor.

Sick leave probably is best, though I understand it's hard with the shutdown and you would understandably be reluctant to disclose the miscarriage. I came close to a similar situation myself with my last miscarriage -- suspected ectopic and they insisted methotrexate had to be scheduled for a Tuesday that I had an oral argument. I was NOT looking forward to giving a reason to my boss -- or the court -- for that one. Fortunately I miscarried naturally the day before.

It really comes down to either toughing it out with lots of pads and hourly bathroom checks, or sick leave and likely telling them the reason. (Although, if you are a nonessential fed, you will not be allowed to take sick leave -- you would simply not report in and not be paid. No leave is permitted during the shutdown.)

When did we get to the point that a woman cannot take a sick day when she had miscarriage?

sickening

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your access to a bathroom. With my various miscarriages I pretty much had to run to the bathroom once an hour to pass whatever. But usually that only lasted a day or two and after that was just heavy bleeding, manageable with a pad. If you are passing tissue for more than 2-3 days, I'd call your doctor.

Sick leave probably is best, though I understand it's hard with the shutdown and you would understandably be reluctant to disclose the miscarriage. I came close to a similar situation myself with my last miscarriage -- suspected ectopic and they insisted methotrexate had to be scheduled for a Tuesday that I had an oral argument. I was NOT looking forward to giving a reason to my boss -- or the court -- for that one. Fortunately I miscarried naturally the day before.

It really comes down to either toughing it out with lots of pads and hourly bathroom checks, or sick leave and likely telling them the reason. (Although, if you are a nonessential fed, you will not be allowed to take sick leave -- you would simply not report in and not be paid. No leave is permitted during the shutdown.)

When did we get to the point that a woman cannot take a sick day when she had miscarriage?

You can, of course, but many work places will require you to give a reason -- or at least doing so would be prudent if you are high up in your organization and don't want to be seen as a slacker when an important project is at stake. I don't know about you, but acknowledging miscarriage (or early pregnancy) is not something I'm interested in doing at work.

And the no sick leave if shut down is the law. If the government is shut down, all fed leave is canceled. Of course you don't report for work. But you can't call it sick leave, either. In the government you can't just take a "sick day"; you have to accrue and use actual hours of sick leave.

one (unexplained) day off = slacker. unbelievable.