Woes of being the youngest (adult) child

[Anonymous]

Number of times I've made a recommendation with regards to a family project, that have been dismissed? 6
Number of times I've made a recommendation that has turned out to be 100% right, after being dismissed? 6
Number of times my recommendations will actually be given weight in future considerations: 0

So allow me to say it here, because if I articulate this in even a much more polite way, I'll be called argumentative, difficult, or stubborn: I AM EFFING RIGHT. MOTHER EFFING RIGHT. WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME.

And I'll be right so many, many more times, while you dismiss me wasting everyone's time.

/youngest child rant over (I'm still right)

[Anonymous]

So stop participating. You know the drill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So stop participating. You know the drill.

I could, but I have a stake in this project. I could either:
(A) never offer my opinion or take on things, which have a 100% track record at this point, and sit back offering no insight on steering us in the right direction
(B) offer up my suggestions, but be constantly dismissed or suggested later by someone else--where then it's suddenly a good idea

At least by participating, I have the confidence of knowing I'm right. But being the youngest... you can't win. You just can't.

[Anonymous]

It's about respect. You don't their respect. Respect doesn't require being right. It's not about being right. But I'm sorry Op. It's not your imagination. You are not respected as a peer, or as an equal. All family members, as long as not dependent, should be respected as equals.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for your plight, OP.

But you know this has nothing to do with sibling order. It might have something to do with gender, sadly.

My friend is the oldest and her family doesn't listen to her, even though she's right. Her brothers don't have that problem.

I have 7 maternal aunts and uncles. The one who calls the shots is the third youngest.

And you know there are ways to be heard that make people dislike you. My husband is the second oldest and can be so unpleasant and stubborn that his family gives in just to have some peace. Result? My husband can be really obnoxious and nobody likes him when he's like that. I don't give in. Result? We fight a lot.

So... try to find the right amount of distance which will allow you to tolerate your family.

[Anonymous]

My younger brother seems to enjoy being the baby out of 4. He's 25, just married, lives 30 miles from Tybee Island, has a great job, when he comes to visit he is fawned over like a celebrity, and we love him dearly. I'm 20 years older than him, so he feels like one of my kids. He keeps my mom young (she was my age when he was born), and he's a blessing to have. Sorry your life isn't as golden.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP? I'm the youngest in my family and this used to happen to me when I was younger (I'm nearing 50 now). It doesn't happen anymore and, in fact, they often come to me for advice and how to do things.

Here's the bottom line...The only way you can get to this stage in life as the youngest is to show them how capable and successful you are. Whining and complaining about everything (even though I know this was simply a vent which we all do sometimes!) isn't going to cut it. Work hard and continue to contribute. Time and your own success in life will show them the real you. It's sometimes hard for them to see past the little baby sister/brother, but you'll get there! Trust me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you, OP? I'm the youngest in my family and this used to happen to me when I was younger (I'm nearing 50 now). It doesn't happen anymore and, in fact, they often come to me for advice and how to do things.

Here's the bottom line...The only way you can get to this stage in life as the youngest is to show them how capable and successful you are. Whining and complaining about everything (even though I know this was simply a vent which we all do sometimes!) isn't going to cut it. Work hard and continue to contribute. Time and your own success in life will show them the real you. It's sometimes hard for them to see past the little baby sister/brother, but you'll get there! Trust me!

You'll get there just as you're starting to bemoan the fact that you're old
Bottom line, you can't have everything!

[Anonymous]

You aren’t the favorite, and you never will be.

[Anonymous]

My younger brother seems to enjoy being the baby out of 4. He's 25, just married, lives 30 miles from Tybee Island, has a great job, when he comes to visit he is fawned over like a celebrity, and we love him dearly. I'm 20 years older than him, so he feels like one of my kids. He keeps my mom young (she was my age when he was born), and he's a blessing to have. Sorry your life isn't as golden

Do not have this continue. Not from you. You can't control what your parents do, but you do your long-term relationship with him no favors. And you do him no favors.

[Anonymous]

I’m the youngest and agree. Even into my 20s if they were eating dessert in the sitting room I would have it it at the table in the dining room in case I would spill, or something. Quit participating. You caaaannnnnoooooottt win. Accept the reality.

[Anonymous]

Haha I’m not going to lie, DH and I are both the oldest of four and the youngest sibling in both our families would probably make the same complaints.

Don’t fight it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t fight it.

You sound nice.

[Anonymous]

I'm the youngest. And female. But my siblings know that I'm smarter then them and have more follow through, so I usually end up running things. It is actually annoying to be in charge all of the time, so I am going to take a step back when it comes to planning my moms 80th birthday this summer.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's necessarily about being the youngest. I'm the oldest and am treated this way. The favorite child is the one they listen to. Same with my husband. He's the oldest and is never listened to, but they listen to the youngest. Families set up roles and like to stick with them. You be you and don't feel you have to play the part. I also accept that they will never listen to my excellent input.