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Being unattractive
Being socially awkward Being shy / introverted |
| The eye thing - that weird look - there is a name for it, I just don't know what it is - like the "eye sex" thing. Ew. CREEPY. Get away. Or I might play along then laugh about with my friends it later, but I am not seriously playing along, trust me. |
| Being awkward, not reading social cues, being slovenly and not practicing good hygiene. |
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As a woman who has not been traditionally "attractive," and has been socially awkward, shy, and introverted, these things make a man creepy:
Leery Looks at you, or treats you like an object, and not a human being or peer Expects you to pay attention to them Does not take the hint to leave you alone; repeatedly approaches you Thinks that when they talk to you, or compliment you, that you should consider yourself lucky; thinks overly high of themselves and the value of their opinion |
| I have a co-worker who is 51 and unmarried. He frequently talks about how beautiful some of the 20-somethings in our organization are and will try to chat them up and make lunch plans. I find that kind of creepy. |
It goes beyond this. It has to do with giving unwanted attention to a person. Being unattractive is, of course, going to increase the number of people who don't want your attention. And, being socially awkward will perhaps limit your ability to tell when attention is unwanted. So, being perceived as creepy will sometimes be unfair in the way that life is generally unfair. And acting creepy will sometimes be inadvertent because you lack social acuity and/or the person who doesn't want to receive your attention is communicating that fact too subtly. But, if you're actually concerned about being considerate of people's feelings and can limit your bitterness over the fact that Chad Thundercock's life is easier than yours, it's pretty damn simple to avoid being creepy. |
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If a guy does A but you think he is hot and cool, then you think he is charming.
If a guy does A but you think he is unattractive and awkward, then you think he is creepy. Two guys can do the exact same thing...and one be seen as creepy and the other seen as charming. Over the top creepiness like someone staring in your window or making lewd gestures or comments would apply across the attractiveness continuum but most things people call creepy are more about the person than the action |
Yep, nailed it |
Not always. |
Let me guess - you're a self-professed "nice guy" who can't understand why women don't like "nice guys like me." |
+1 |
Nope, I am a woman who works in a field were I interact regularly with socially awkward young men who get seen and treated as creepy on a regular basis just because of how they look and their lack of social charm. |
Perhaps for minor things, like "flirting". Hot guys can definitely be creepy, though. Some examples of creepy behavior done to me by traditionally "hot" guy: Eying private areas in public and we're not a couple Touching the small of my back and we're not a couple Blocking a doorway so had to squeeze by him Making guesses about the type of lover I am (this was at work) |
Yes. At the core, "creepy" is about not pulling back when your attention is unwanted. It's about forcing the point when the point isn't welcome. Maybe you don't read social cues well. Maybe you deliberately ignore them because you don't feel other people have a right to not want your attention. Maybe both. But physically attractive and wealthy men can be creepy, too. I think Christian Bale could be creepy af. (Not that he would force attention on me, but if he did -- skin crawl. I heard the audios.) |