Should you disclose serious mental illness when in a relationship?

Anonymous
I guess the question should be "how soon..." but anyway. How would you react if you found out after a year that your SO is schizophrenic?
Anonymous
How old? How serious? For an adult, serious relationship, I think waiting 1 year to disclose is too long.
Anonymous
If someone is schizophrenic the person with whom they are in the relationship will know very shortly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If someone is schizophrenic the person with whom they are in the relationship will know very shortly.


Actually a lot of symptoms can be well managed with meds and self care for some individuals. But a year seems like a long time, as though a lot of purposeful hiding and omission has been going on.
Anonymous
1 month to 3 months depending on the pace of the relationship
Anonymous
You should disclose fairly early in the relationship. A year is way too long. Remember the guy in Sophie's Choice? Shocker.
Anonymous
How long would you wait to disclose a serious, chronic "physical" illness? Use that guideline, because there's not much difference.

A year is way too long.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:1 month to 3 months depending on the pace of the relationship

+1
I think the 1-3 month timeframe is appropriate. A year is way too long and I'd be angry if someone waited that long to tell me.
Anonymous
Disclose early, OP. Serious mental illness requires support and understanding. Don't waste time with someone who will not be there for you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1 month to 3 months depending on the pace of the relationship

+1
I think the 1-3 month timeframe is appropriate. A year is way too long and I'd be angry if someone waited that long to tell me.


+2
Anonymous
I have chronic illnesses (one life-threatening) along with some mental issues (PTSD is one). I told my husband as soon as we started dating because it wouldn't have been fair to either of us to get too attached and then tell him on the off-chance that he wouldn't be able to deal with it. He was, and we've been married for almost 8 years.
Anonymous
If things get serious. Those of us who have already done our time probably wish not to tackle serious mental health issues in a partner again.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:1 month to 3 months depending on the pace of the relationship


This was my initial thought.
Anonymous
Oh and how would I react? I’d be upset. And “why” did the person wait? Does the person withhold other huge things from me?

Some of these are genetic and so you have a higher rate of having a child with a similar challenge. I don’t know about schizophrenia in particular. These are the things id want to research. Knowledge is power. And I would wonder why my SO was withholding that knowledge.

Whether I stayed or not would depend on a lot of things. But something tells me the lack of disclosure is in line with other less-than-healthy relationship behavior.
Anonymous
You can't really sustain a long term relationship with a person suffering from schizophrenia. You certainly can't have children with them.
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