Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jameson
Lucia

I would assume that you guys are a solid couple, who had a great time traveling/backpacking around Europe.

[Anonymous]

Lolita

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing for Audrey and Eleanor? I'm curious what you're take on those names are.

New poster but here goes

You were a film major at NYU with a minor in women's studies. Audrey was named after Audrey Hepburn and you still dream of having breakfast at Tiffanys.

Eleanor was named for Eleanor Roosevelt. Your women's studies professor wrote her groundbreaking dissertation about Eleanor Roosevelt and conclusively proved she was a lesbian. You had a small fling with the professor in your junior year. After she dumped you, you became anorexic and began wearing black slacks and turtlenecks and a ponytail in tribute to your film idol, the aforementioned Audrey Hepburn

That summer you met DH on the LIRR when you were going to Hewlett for your nana's 75th birthday, and he was going to Woodmere for his niece's bat mitzvah. He had just finished his second year at Columbia Law and was a summer associate at Sullivan & Cromwell. He invited you to the end of the summer firm outing, and all the WASP partners were enchanted by your Audrey Hepburn shtick. They offered him a job but sent him to Washington because of his finance undergrad from Penn.

You graduated from NYU with a 2.9 GPA and moved to Washington to be with him. You lived in a one bedroom rental in Clarendon for five years while he ground out 100 hour weeks at the firm and you had a series of jobs at Williams Sonoma, Ann Taylor Loft and worked into assistant manager at South Moon Under.

When the partners told him he would become a partner, you were married at the TriBeCa Lofts with your cousin officiating.

You had Audrey two years later and bought a starter house in Lyon Park in Arlington. Your parents kicked in $100,000 toward the down payment because of a comment your sister-in-law made to your sister that you were not pulling your earnings weight with your slacker jobs

Two years later you had Eleanor and are now happily a SAHM who gained enough weight during two pregnancies to no longer be able to pull off the Audrey Hepburn look and have veered more to Eleanor Roosevelt

You do favors for all the working moms in your neighborhood out of guilt

The end

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holly, William

Land of the Lost siblings

Will was hot, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alexander and Christopher. You and your spouse are both ex high school athletes (you volleyball, him football) who dreamed of playing in college but didnt' make the cut. You chose an academic school over a potential to play volleyball, and he just wasn't good enough to play. You loathe your office jobs and have pillow talk about buying a food truck together. You have 2 shelter pets and actively encourage people to only adopt rescue dogs while ignoring the leash law unless someone gives you a REALLY dirt look. You fear that one of your boys may want a motorcycle one day. And your husband sits in big box store parking lots after work some days to "decompress" before coming home since his commute is so short

You're funny! Yes, we're both ex high school athletes. Ding ding! But we did play in college, him D1 football at an academic college. Never even eaten at a food truck, though. No pets. I do fear the motorcycle! We don't live anywhere near big box store parking lots, so I'm not sure where he sits to decompress after work. I sit in my office and surf DCUM for a while first.

[Anonymous]

No one had anything to say about my two snowflakes from forty pages ago, DS Colin and DD Riley?

It's going to be a long day at work, this thread made me laugh all day yesterday. I hope the witty among us keep it up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one had anything to say about my two snowflakes from forty pages ago, DS Colin and DD Riley?

It's going to be a long day at work, this thread made me laugh all day yesterday. I hope the witty among us keep it up!

Colin was conceived on your last round of IVF after the first three rounds failed. You could hardly believe it as you were sure the fourth round was going to be a failure as well and were already steeling yourself for the likelihood of having to pursue adoption. Little Colin was born and life was perfect- until Riley was shockingly conceived au naturel when Colin was just three months old. It turns out, this is a common phenomenon among women who have conceived via IVF but you did not know this at the time. Suddenly, you had two kids and life was more and more hectic. You had planned to be one of those all-organic, no-TV, baby sign language, elimination communication moms but that was when you thought you'd only have one. With two, you just can't handle it sometimes so Riley's first word was "Boots" because she watched countless hours of Dora the Explorer while you scaled your 12 foot ceilings to get Colin off the ceiling fan again. On occasion, you wonder if you ever really wanted to be a mom or if you just wanted the experience of pregnancy, and then you immediately feel terrible guilt for thinking such a thing. Oh, they're sweet kids, Colin and Riley, it's just that you barely settled into motherhood before you had two of them one year apart and and and...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing for Audrey and Eleanor? I'm curious what you're take on those names are.

New poster but here goes

You were a film major at NYU with a minor in women's studies. Audrey was named after Audrey Hepburn and you still dream of having breakfast at Tiffanys.

Eleanor was named for Eleanor Roosevelt. Your women's studies professor wrote her groundbreaking dissertation about Eleanor Roosevelt and conclusively proved she was a lesbian. You had a small fling with the professor in your junior year. After she dumped you, you became anorexic and began wearing black slacks and turtlenecks and a ponytail in tribute to your film idol, the aforementioned Audrey Hepburn

That summer you met DH on the LIRR when you were going to Hewlett for your nana's 75th birthday, and he was going to Woodmere for his niece's bat mitzvah. He had just finished his second year at Columbia Law and was a summer associate at Sullivan & Cromwell. He invited you to the end of the summer firm outing, and all the WASP partners were enchanted by your Audrey Hepburn shtick. They offered him a job but sent him to Washington because of his finance undergrad from Penn.

You graduated from NYU with a 2.9 GPA and moved to Washington to be with him. You lived in a one bedroom rental in Clarendon for five years while he ground out 100 hour weeks at the firm and you had a series of jobs at Williams Sonoma, Ann Taylor Loft and worked into assistant manager at South Moon Under.

When the partners told him he would become a partner, you were married at the TriBeCa Lofts with your cousin officiating.

You had Audrey two years later and bought a starter house in Lyon Park in Arlington. Your parents kicked in $100,000 toward the down payment because of a comment your sister-in-law made to your sister that you were not pulling your earnings weight with your slacker jobs

Two years later you had Eleanor and are now happily a SAHM who gained enough weight during two pregnancies to no longer be able to pull off the Audrey Hepburn look and have veered more to Eleanor Roosevelt

You do favors for all the working moms in your neighborhood out of guilt

The end

Love it! You are only right about the bolded parts but I did go to a top art school (where I met DH), was extremely thin up until DC #1 was born (5'7" and weighed 105-110lbs). DH is a designer and is definitely the breadwinner of the family. Parents are helping with down payment for house #2 because we couldn't afford it on our own, and it's my inheritance from my grandmother. I work very part time teaching art classes so am mostly a SAHM. I do favors for my SIL who works full time and lives in my neighborhood. Favors always involve picking her kids up from school or some such thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christina
Andrew
Gretchen

Anyone?

That you're not bright enough to know that Gretchen isn't a real name, just the shortening of one. And doesn't remotely match the previous ones.

Trying to hard to match some ethnicity....that isn't matched by Andrew. Gretchen is German short form of Margarete. Andreas is German form of Andrew. Christina is mispelled if it's German.

Just Nononononono.

You're so funny. In that "ridiculous" funny way. That's my name (Christina) and Andrew and Gretchen are my siblings' names. We're in our 30s and 40s. My mom had German parents, so she knew full well that Gretchen is indeed a "real" name, and indeed that it's a diminutive of Margarete, but can of course stand alone. But you know what, Mom grew up on Long Island, so she's first generation American. And she liked the names Christina and Andrew. It's not that complicated. Aber du weisst das schon. Thanks for trying.

Well, as an actual German (I'm an expat), I can assure you that Gretchen is a nickname in Germany. Not a given name. And perhaps if you didn't want the snark, posting your real names was not such a good idea?

[Anonymous]

I posted on page 12 and never saw a response. So, trying again:

DD1: Maureen
DD2: Clara
DS1: David
DD3: Grainne

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alexander and Christopher. You and your spouse are both ex high school athletes (you volleyball, him football) who dreamed of playing in college but didnt' make the cut. You chose an academic school over a potential to play volleyball, and he just wasn't good enough to play. You loathe your office jobs and have pillow talk about buying a food truck together. You have 2 shelter pets and actively encourage people to only adopt rescue dogs while ignoring the leash law unless someone gives you a REALLY dirt look. You fear that one of your boys may want a motorcycle one day. And your husband sits in big box store parking lots after work some days to "decompress" before coming home since his commute is so short

You're funny! Yes, we're both ex high school athletes. Ding ding! But we did play in college, him D1 football at an academic college. Never even eaten at a food truck, though. No pets. I do fear the motorcycle! We don't live anywhere near big box store parking lots, so I'm not sure where he sits to decompress after work. I sit in my office and surf DCUM for a while first.

Yay! I think I did pretty well on this one Alexander and Christopher's Mom, thanks for letting me know. I will admit I checked first thing this morning to see if there was any feedback, I had high hopes for this one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lucia (Lucy)

You are naturally thin and love to wear high heels, but feel conspicuous if you do so, so you wear mainly flats. You live in DC close to a metro. You had Lucy when you were between 35-37. You attended prenatal yoga classes and childbirth education classes. You work in middle management in an international development organization after getting your MPH (this was after a stint in the peace corps) and your DH is GS-14 at one of the agencies, bringing your joint HHI to just around $200k. Against your better judgment, you will have a second child (Henry), and you will decide to quit your job because DH's pays more and you were frankly bored of reviewing program plans and grant proposals at work, but you didn't want to take on the international travel needed to move up. But this will be a mistake, because staying at home with two kids is more taxing that you thought, and DH doesn't pitch in as much as he should. After the kids are in elementary school you will try to go back to work, but it will be difficult to find a job because your professional connections have grown stale. So you stay home and move out to the suburbs around time for middle school. You join the PTA. A scandal arises regarding arsenic-tainted soil on the local playing field. You lead the charge against the coverup perpetrated by the county and the school district, demanding accountability. Reinvigorated, you leverage your new connections to a position on the local city council. You realize you still have great legs for a 40-something, so you start wearing heels again and putting your hair up. After turning around the city's woeful budgetary status and skillfully navigating between business development and environmental interests, you capture the attention of local Democratic representatives, who ask you to run for state assembly. To your surprise, you win. You spend the next ten years building on your reputation as an environmentalist sensitive to business needs who can balance the need for development with the need to protect the wildlife. At the end of your three terms in office, facing Lucy and Henry's college tuition bills, you go to work for a K street consulting firm lobbying for giant oil companies, where you leverage your environmental credibility to water down environmental reforms, and become rich. You then retire to Aspen.

THE END.

Very impressive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted on page 12 and never saw a response. So, trying again:

DD1: Maureen
DD2: Clara
DS1: David
DD3: Grainne

You were a young and tender age 19 when Maureen was born; your college boyfriend got you pregnant because neither one of you realized the antibiotics you were taking canceled out your birth control. Young and optimistic, you vowed you would get married, raise your child, finish college, and have it all. Well, your husband finished college... you stayed home and raised little Maureen. Eventually you did go to trade school to become a dental assistant. Unfortunately, as so often happens in these situations, you and your husband, Joe, realized that you'd married too young and wanted more out of life. You divorced and though he was more distant than you'd have preferred, Maureen's dad did the best he could and got Maureen on holidays and 3 weeks every summer when he took her to Myrtle Beach with whoever he was dating at the time. Clara, David and Grainne are your children from your second marriage, to the dentist who owned the practice you worked at. Maureen is 12 years older then Clara and was in college by the time little Grainne was born. She's never had much of a relationship with your husband, which bothers you, but he's a great father to the three children you have together so you feel you can't complain too much. Maureen is beautiful and confident in a way you were not at her age, and when she hit 20, you breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't ended up pregnant and married at 19 like you. You wear a lot of Tory Burch and own four pairs of Karen Walker sunglasses. You get your hair professionally highlighted every 4 weeks and send your younger three kids to private school. You pretend to not be embarrassed about being a teen mom but in reality, you kind of are.

[Anonymous]

My girls are Nancy and Susan. What do you think, OP? I am loving this! Go ahead -- give it to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Emmeline (Emmy) and Peter.

bump