Hoping these kids are OK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am unsure what the “bad kids/bad parents!” posters want. A child is dead. Surely there aren’t any higher consequences than that? The kids who are still alive will all have lives that are seriously impacted. What more exactly do you want?

Some of us can know the kids were being reckless and still be heartbroken that they are paying such a high price. Some of us can think the parents perhaps were not as in control of their kids as they should have been but still feel huge empathy for a parent who is burying their 14 year old. Some of us can acknowledge that there is no excuse for driving drunk and not wearing seatbelts and still appreciate that there are still communities that these common sense messages have not penetrated as deeply as they should.

It is also possible to remind parents that the nature of the kid matters. That even in a household with unlimited resources and parental involvement, some percentage of kids are going to be risk takers.

Why do the kids names all need to be kept secret and confidential? Yes, I know they are minors. But if we want this to hit home and become "real" for our kids, they need to know these were real people.
Just saying "some kids" won't have as big an impact as "His name was XX. This is his social medial account. You can see how he went to basketball games with his friends and homecoming with his girlfriend. And now he is paralyzed for the rest of his life."

Because it’s the law in our country that we offer this privacy to minors. Your wanting to make it a teaching moment for your kids does not trump that right.

DP here. My kids don’t need a name or a social media account to know how horrible this situation is and how they should never put themselves in this situation. They have heard loud and clear that one kid is paralyzed and one kid has died.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don’t care about the names. But I do want to know why the driver has not been charged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am unsure what the “bad kids/bad parents!” posters want. A child is dead. Surely there aren’t any higher consequences than that? The kids who are still alive will all have lives that are seriously impacted. What more exactly do you want?

Some of us can know the kids were being reckless and still be heartbroken that they are paying such a high price. Some of us can think the parents perhaps were not as in control of their kids as they should have been but still feel huge empathy for a parent who is burying their 14 year old. Some of us can acknowledge that there is no excuse for driving drunk and not wearing seatbelts and still appreciate that there are still communities that these common sense messages have not penetrated as deeply as they should.

It is also possible to remind parents that the nature of the kid matters. That even in a household with unlimited resources and parental involvement, some percentage of kids are going to be risk takers.

Why do the kids names all need to be kept secret and confidential? Yes, I know they are minors. But if we want this to hit home and become "real" for our kids, they need to know these were real people.
Just saying "some kids" won't have as big an impact as "His name was XX. This is his social medial account. You can see how he went to basketball games with his friends and homecoming with his girlfriend. And now he is paralyzed for the rest of his life."

Because it’s the law in our country that we offer this privacy to minors. Your wanting to make it a teaching moment for your kids does not trump that right.

DP here. My kids don’t need a name or a social media account to know how horrible this situation is and how they should never put themselves in this situation. They have heard loud and clear that one kid is paralyzed and one kid has died.

Yes, but if the read DCUM (or just believe the same as the posts here) that only happened because these kids were from/were following a certain "culture." If your kids aren't from that culture, they are safe.

[Anonymous]

I think all the injured passengers deserve privacy. But, if you were the driver who was driving recklessly while drunk, and you killed or injured multiple other teens... I don't think our privacy laws or just privacy manners need to protect you.

When you drive drunk and kill someone, the public has some right to know who killed X or injured Y and Z. X, Y, and Z have the right to privacy as they recover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t care about the names. But I do want to know why the driver has not been charged.

Waiting for outcomes. Now that one child has died, he can be tried for manslaughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all the injured passengers deserve privacy. But, if you were the driver who was driving recklessly while drunk, and you killed or injured multiple other teens... I don't think our privacy laws or just privacy manners need to protect you.

When you drive drunk and kill someone, the public has some right to know who killed X or injured Y and Z. X, Y, and Z have the right to privacy as they recover.

For juveniles we are focused on rehabilitation and not vengeance. It’s a different goal which on the whole is a good goal. What a terrible and preventable tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all the injured passengers deserve privacy. But, if you were the driver who was driving recklessly while drunk, and you killed or injured multiple other teens... I don't think our privacy laws or just privacy manners need to protect you.

When you drive drunk and kill someone, the public has some right to know who killed X or injured Y and Z. X, Y, and Z have the right to privacy as they recover.

For juveniles we are focused on rehabilitation and not vengeance. It’s a different goal which on the whole is a good goal. What a terrible and preventable tragedy.

No one is talking about "vengence" --- we're talking about "justice" -- which is a PUBLIC interest. Justice for the injured and deceased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all the injured passengers deserve privacy. But, if you were the driver who was driving recklessly while drunk, and you killed or injured multiple other teens... I don't think our privacy laws or just privacy manners need to protect you.

When you drive drunk and kill someone, the public has some right to know who killed X or injured Y and Z. X, Y, and Z have the right to privacy as they recover.

For juveniles we are focused on rehabilitation and not vengeance. It’s a different goal which on the whole is a good goal. What a terrible and preventable tragedy.

No one is talking about "vengence" --- we're talking about "justice" -- which is a PUBLIC interest. Justice for the injured and deceased.

How is the govt not sharing the drivers name interfering with justice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t care about the names. But I do want to know why the driver has not been charged.

Waiting for outcomes. Now that one child has died, he can be tried for manslaughter.

probably tox screenings too.

[Anonymous]

As a parent I keep talking to my kids about safety, including seatbelts. But I’m thinking of myself as a teen. We never ever wore seatbelts in the backseat of a car. No one did in NYS that I knew. It only became a law in 2020 and we still argue with the older relatives about this when we visit. They don’t think it’s necessary to put one on in the back. It seems like such an obvious thing to do for safety now but then it really did not seem like we were doing anything dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent I keep talking to my kids about safety, including seatbelts. But I’m thinking of myself as a teen. We never ever wore seatbelts in the backseat of a car. No one did in NYS that I knew. It only became a law in 2020 and we still argue with the older relatives about this when we visit. They don’t think it’s necessary to put one on in the back. It seems like such an obvious thing to do for safety now but then it really did not seem like we were doing anything dangerous.

I grew up in NY and we always wore seatbelts.

I just looked this up and can’t believe the backseat law only passed in 2020. Is this for taxis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t care about the names. But I do want to know why the driver has not been charged.

Waiting for outcomes. Now that one child has died, he can be tried for manslaughter.

He can still be arrested for DUI, driving without a license (if that is true), and reckless endangerment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent I keep talking to my kids about safety, including seatbelts. But I’m thinking of myself as a teen. We never ever wore seatbelts in the backseat of a car. No one did in NYS that I knew. It only became a law in 2020 and we still argue with the older relatives about this when we visit. They don’t think it’s necessary to put one on in the back. It seems like such an obvious thing to do for safety now but then it really did not seem like we were doing anything dangerous.

What??? We always did. I graduated HS in 1997.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent I keep talking to my kids about safety, including seatbelts. But I’m thinking of myself as a teen. We never ever wore seatbelts in the backseat of a car. No one did in NYS that I knew. It only became a law in 2020 and we still argue with the older relatives about this when we visit. They don’t think it’s necessary to put one on in the back. It seems like such an obvious thing to do for safety now but then it really did not seem like we were doing anything dangerous.

I grew up in NY and we always wore seatbelts.

I just looked this up and can’t believe the backseat law only passed in 2020. Is this for taxis?

There’s no back seat law in Virginia after age 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent I keep talking to my kids about safety, including seatbelts. But I’m thinking of myself as a teen. We never ever wore seatbelts in the backseat of a car. No one did in NYS that I knew. It only became a law in 2020 and we still argue with the older relatives about this when we visit. They don’t think it’s necessary to put one on in the back. It seems like such an obvious thing to do for safety now but then it really did not seem like we were doing anything dangerous.

I grew up in NY and we always wore seatbelts.

I just looked this up and can’t believe the backseat law only passed in 2020. Is this for taxis?

I don’t know, but we were in a middle class area upstate and no one in my family or with my friends wore them in backseats. I agree it wasn’t safe but it was how it was. I’m showing my age, but when I was a little kid, no one wore them in the front seat either back in the 70s.