Mil wants to be called Mama X

[Anonymous]

Mil wants to be called Mama (insert first name). This pisses me off, and I'm afraid I'm being irrational. DH isn't bothered by it and says to let it go. My moms nickname is her similar to GG. First initial twice. My nephews started calling her that and it stuck and they call my brothers mil the first initial of her name. I thought we could do the same with my mil or wait and see what develops naturally. I get if she wants to pick her own name but I don't want her to be mama anything to my kids. Or my dog- she uses it for her too. Am I being difficult here? So many other names to choose from!

[Anonymous]

You are being difficult OP. Your kids won’t be co fused as to who is their mother, and calling her Mama X gives her no more or less status than Grandma, Granny, GG or whatever.

Some therapy to figure out why this bugs you might be a good idea.

[Anonymous]

That is weird.

[Anonymous]

Just call her grandma X. Or just grandma.

If you want to throw her a bone you could say "grand-mama X".

[Anonymous]

Just tell your husband that in your family mama is a special name for the child's actual mom, so you would rather go with something else for her. Tell him you have always wanted to hear your kids use Mama aa a special name for you.

Perhaps she can Grandmama if she is irrationally attached to mama.

Or Memaw.some people use that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you're being oversensitive. This is one of those things that you won't gain much from objecting to and may resolve itself when your child decides (much like with your own mom and your nephews) what he or she will call your MIL. Let this one go and object when the stakes are higher. Trust me, your child will not think your MIL is his or her mother if the "Mama X" name actually ends up sticking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being difficult OP. Your kids won’t be co fused as to who is their mother, and calling her Mama X gives her no more or less status than Grandma, Granny, GG or whatever.

Some therapy to figure out why this bugs you might be a good idea.

No.

OP is correct.

Mama is one of the very first sounds a baby makes, and it is one of the sounds they make when they want comfort. It is the word for Mom. OP gets that name. Not MIL.

MIL is not mom and does not get that specific term of endearment.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. No.

[Anonymous]

My mil was supposed to just be Grandma but DC ended up calling her Nana. She’s Nana forever more now. I don’t love it because MY special grandma was Nana but oh well! Point being grandparents don’t always end up being called what you plan before the kids come. I wouldn’t want my kids calling mil Mama anything either. I’d probably avoid the topic and then later encourage them to call her something else.

[Anonymous]

All this angst, OP! What will probably happen is that your kid will come up with something to call her entirely their own, just as you mentioned. In the meantime, let it go. This is not a battle worth fighting. Not even close. You come across as silly doing so.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal, may not stick, would never confuse the baby as to who is who.

[Anonymous]

If you make a big deal about this, you will feel petty and regret it later on. Really.

[Anonymous]

OP here

Thanks for the replies. I know it's not the the most rational thing but it does bother me and I can see myself getting resentful towards her for it. She already has joked to take the kids from us at various points. Since we got married she would say things like, they can just live with me and they would probably be happier living with me than in a tiny big city apt, she asked if she could homeschool our kids and they can just live with her m-f. I've played nice. A lot. I'm just tired of always feeling like she is undermining me and crossing boundaries. It starts with mama X and then she will start using mama flat out.

My plan right now is just to refer to her as her initials to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Is that what her grandmother was called? We use "Grandma Sue" and "Grandpa Dave" to distinguish various grandparents in our family. Perhaps encourage that?

Are there other ways she oversteps boundaries? On its own that wouldn't bother me necessarily, but if it's part of a behaviour pattern, I could see it being irritating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is that what her grandmother was called? We use "Grandma Sue" and "Grandpa Dave" to distinguish various grandparents in our family. Perhaps encourage that?

Are there other ways she oversteps boundaries? On its own that wouldn't bother me necessarily, but if it's part of a behaviour pattern, I could see it being irritating.

This pp here. Obviously I cross-posted with you! Yea, her thinking she could home school them would be annoying! I'd use something other than "Mama Beth" with her. How often do you see her?