Depressed after wedding
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have had the worst depression of my life the week after getting married.
I don't know what is wrong with me. My life feels closed up and I feel like my options have closed. I am unsure if I have made the best possible choice for my life. |
Anonymous
| You can never know if any given choice you make is the best possible choice you could have made, because you can't know every possible option or how they'd play out. You have chosen this one, and the best thing you can do now is embrace it and create the best version of this path. |
Anonymous
|
Did you have the big fancy wedding where lots of money spent, big production, tons of guests and gifts, trains of bridesmaids and best men, etc. etc.?
You are suffering from the big let down of "THIS is it??" after a huge event. You are not the center of attention anymore. You are on your own and that is not fun for you. Ride out of it. Be stronger. You are not that special and that is fine. |
Anonymous
| Keep one thing in mind, there are ALWAYS options, I mean ALWAYS. Try to get into the rhythm of the routine and go with the flow, hope you work because that can be your savior. |
Anonymous
| You probably settled for someone you don’t really love just so you could have the big princess wedding and start popping out kids. Bad choice. |
Anonymous
| Is this a new feeling? Or did it grow? |
Anonymous
| Are you the one whose new husband got crazy drunk at the wedding and then yelled at you when you complained about it? |
Anonymous
NP. OP, please come back and tell us if this was, as PP says, a big fancy wedding. Those can really produce a let-down afterward, a kind of after-the-party return to real life and its mundane stuff. The friends and family are gone, the events are over. The glow of the spouse at the altar is gone, and you're back to the mortgage or the rent, returning to work, etc. After any big life event, the return to reality can be a bump. If you had a wedding with a lot of people there and a lot going on over a period of time (showers, going out with bridesmaids/groomsmen who are in town, catching up with friends/family who are so thrilled for you, wedding itself, reception, etc.)--the bump feels harder. What was the wedding like, and is it possible you're dealing with the reality bump, and not really questioning the marriage itself? |
Anonymous
I felt this, too - it was the feeling of closed off options depressing me. It took a few months to pass and I have been happily married since (4 years). If anything, I now enjoy the feeling of closed off options and the deepening intimacy with my DH. |
Anonymous
Yes, actually. He isn’t usually like that. He’s been lovely and attentive since andbbefore that one time blip. |
Anonymous
Op, you've to to lose that thinking - - it is now your responsibility (and his) to create a happy life |
Anonymous
| You're never sure. You do the best you can with the information you have. Sometimes you end up changing your mind. |
Anonymous
You're clearly a quality woman who could have her pick of guys that comment here. |
Anonymous
|
This is the third thread you’ve posted about your DH and the wedding. Maybe consider professional help to navigate this situation and help you sort you feelings put.
GL |
Anonymous
| I am sorry that you are feeling depressed after your wedding. I agree with other commenters that after a very stressful change/event in your life, it can be easy for depression to set in. I would also ask you to examine your life prior to your wedding. Do you feel that you have been prone to melancholy moments/periods in the past? Do you frequently see life very pessimistically? These could all be signs that were leading to a larger depressive episode. Has your marriage caused you to relocate? Have you had to start work at a new job? Those could be other things that would compound depressive episodes. I would love to hear more about what you are thinking and be able to comment further. |