I hate how the teachers at our school won't tell you where your kids really stands. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

At my three DC's school the teachers have been trained by the administration to give parents no clue as to where their child academically is as compared to peers. This is a wealthy school so some parents tend to be competitive so I get it on some level, but it does not help me help my children. It is like they are robots reading from a fill-in-the-blank form. I just had three parent conferences for three children with very different needs but they sounded exactly the same. One has special needs and I think he is working slightly below grade level but far behind his peers but you wouldn't know that from the conference I had. It was "he's on grade level." Another, I think, is very advanced and is a beautiful writer and doing well in her compacted math class IMO but, again, you wouldn't know it from the conference. The teacher used almost the exact same words as with DS1. DS3 is likely about average. Again, just "on grade level." They will talk to you about behavioral issues like that DS1 is quite shy and DS3 talks too much. I appreciate that but what's the deal with the academic feedback?
Anyone else have this experience? It reminds me of the joke about millennials all needed to get participation prizes, that everything has to be exactly the same or it's not "fair." Do they think parents will freak out about negative feedback or that we will start bragging about positive feedback?

[Anonymous]

I have found this to be the case as well.

It feels like the teacher doesn't even 'know' my kid. Also have 3 kids, and my youngest just started K.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I feel the same way with one child with special needs and a high-achieving one. However once you get past the swamp that is elementary school, middle and high school teachers are more forthright, partly because there are more measurable parts.

Education philosophy has moved away from rankings unless absolutely necessary for college admissions. The country which has the most fragile egos feels the need to protect its progeny at all cost from similar bruising, not realizing that perhaps they'g get a little tougher in the process.

[Anonymous]

I have found it to be the case in VA too fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Op, you have the information you need. On grade level. Peers are irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you have the information you need. On grade level. Peers are irrelevant.

Given what grade level means, that info is meaningless. And whether you like it or not, peers ARE relevant.

[Anonymous]

P is for PROFICIENT. 80% of the kids are proficient so you are all set.... Can't get away from that "pass the low bar" mentality.
Meanwhile, sorry you got better feedback and attention in your Pre-K program...

[Anonymous]

I was trained in grad school to never talk about a child's progress as compared to the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you have the information you need. On grade level. Peers are irrelevant.

Given what grade level means, that info is meaningless. And whether you like it or not, peers ARE relevant.

Because?

[Anonymous]

Why does it seem like some parents just want to find problems??

[Anonymous]

I really don’t understand why you feel you need to know this.

[Anonymous]

This information is increasingly important as the children get older because it helps parents and the kids set priorities. If your child is in the lowest reading group in K or 1st it doesn't matter but if she is in the lowest one in 5th and your school is high-performing and the teacher only tells you you're on grade level that child is in for a rude awakening in middle school when performance is measured against peers. Wouldn't it have been better to let the parents know early on so they could have helped the child earlier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand why you feel you need to know this.

I can't speak for everyone but it might have helped me figure out my kid was 2E sooner. 2E with ADHD was a tough nut to crack.

[Anonymous]

I'm not surrounded by 28 peer kids 5 days a week so how am I supposed to know? The teacher is. I'm also not hanging out with tons of kids during the weekend, so I'm still not clear what the latest and greatest is for 8 and 10 yos.

If a teacher cannot roughly benchmark a kid's skills and temperament, there is an issue. If a teacher is being told to withhold information from parents, there is another, separate issue. If a private school teacher can give me a 45 minute discussion on my kid's academic, social and technical skills 3x a year but a public school teacher will not give me even 10 minutes of demonstrated examples, there is yet another issue going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was trained in grad school to never talk about a child's progress as compared to the class.

Yeah, just CYA and get those pesky parents to shut up for 13 years.