I hate how the teachers at our school won't tell you where your kids really stands. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Comparing to peers only makes sense if you know where the peers are compared to some set of benchmarks. Frankly if your kid is the brightest in a class of dim bulbs does that really mean anything to you?

[Anonymous]

"Where your kid stands" = class rank? In elementary school? These years are for learning foundational skills, so if they are telling you that your child is meeting the benchmarks and learning those skills, you're good. Save the concern for when they get older.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I used to be more honest with parents earlier in my career, but I have learned that some parents become enraged if told their average student is anything other than gifted. If you had experienced the craziness I have endured, you would be ambiguous, too.

[Anonymous]

IDK.

Our teacher opened with a big smile and "Well, I just have to say that Larlo is really, really intelligent. He asks great questions and is very advanced.

Showed three tables - math, reading, writing - with strengths and weaknesses and showed one example to say that he rushed and didn't do as well on that assignment. She mentioned a particular assignment where he finished first and said he was the only kid in the class to answer a particular challenge question.

I'm going to get blasted for this post but I post it just to say we did get specific feedback because the kid is performing, I guess, out of the ordinary?

Did you ask directly how well he's doing? What the difficulty of the groups he's in are relative to the class? Our teacher identified these point blank at BTSN.

We did ask about CES and she switches gears to "Yeah, I don't know. Teachers no longer have anything to do with this." So that was discouraging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to know how your kid ranked in his/her class? The students uaually know who are the smart kids in the class so you could ask your child. By the way, how other kids do in the class is not your problem. Do you want to brag Jane is number one in her class?

Exactly! My child tells me which math and reading groups she is in, so I know she's excelling in math and is near the top, but not in the top, highest reading group. That doesn't change much for DC's daily life - she still does her daily reading, and completes whatever math homework was assigned to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care how my kid is doing compared to her peers, but I do like more detailed feedback about her strengths and weaknesses, the areas where she's made good progress, etc. That would be my complaint, more than the refusal to tell me about other kids.

Yes, I also agree with this one!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to know how your kid ranked in his/her class? The students uaually know who are the smart kids in the class so you could ask your child. By the way, how other kids do in the class is not your problem. Do you want to brag Jane is number one in her class?

Exactly! My child tells me which math and reading groups she is in, so I know she's excelling in math and is near the top, but not in the top, highest reading group. That doesn't change much for DC's daily life - she still does her daily reading, and completes whatever math homework was assigned to her.

Many children don't know.

[Anonymous]

Almost all of DC's teachers have mentioned that she really stands out in the class, but I wouldn't be surprised if teachers were hesitant to give comparative information other than saying your child is near the top. I don't think it's really necessary other than knowing whether your child has a good chance of getting into the CES, etc - but even that is pretty arbitrary and not always predicted by teachers.

[Anonymous]

my child is in diapers still. no one has mentioned a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost all of DC's teachers have mentioned that she really stands out in the class, but I wouldn't be surprised if teachers were hesitant to give comparative information other than saying your child is near the top. I don't think it's really necessary other than knowing whether your child has a good chance of getting into the CES, etc - but even that is pretty arbitrary and not always predicted by teachers.

Our teachers won't even tell us if a child is near the top, middle, or bottom. We do ask this explicitly. I'm not asking for a detailed breakdown of how other kids are doing but it is helpful to know if my kid is at the bottom in a certain subject or all of them. We wasted one full year with my kid at the bottom of the class being told he is doing fine. He got really depressed and withdrawn because he was struggling but we kept reassuring him that everything was "fine" because his teacher said it was fine. Finally the guidance counselor called us in and she was more frank. She couldn't tell us to get him tested but she used language that made it clear he was not okay despite the fact the teachers kept saying he was okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Comparing to peers only makes sense if you know where the peers are compared to some set of benchmarks. Frankly if your kid is the brightest in a class of dim bulbs does that really mean anything to you?

It would if you are trying to decide whether your child should consider applying to a magnet program.
DS was always in the highest math and reading group in K-2 grade but it took his third grade teacher making a comment about his MAP score (he had the highest score in third grade) to make us realize that we needed to give more thought to whether his needs were being met in our highly regarded ES. I have not felt the need to figure out where he stands with respect to his classmates in the magnet programs. There's no grade inflation, so his grades reflect whether he is struggling or thriving and that is all we care about. He has received a fantastic education in the magnet programs so in many ways I don't worry as much about "metrics" like grades etc.

I think that parents have a lot of problems with the new grading system in elementary schools. They nearly seem designed to make information more opaque. It is hard to tell if your child is struggling, sufficiently challenged or thriving.
OP, insist on getting MAP scores and look up the NWEA norms to ensure your child is making enough progress from year to year. Also don't just look at grades online, also look at examples of their work on a regular basis (essays, math packets, tests) and most important of all talk to your kids about their day. You will learn more about whether they are inspired and engaged vs. bored and/or struggling from these conversations. Also, trust your instincts.

[Anonymous]

"Is my child engaged? Are they slower to pick up material than the typical child? Does my child seem happy, stressed, confident, worried, etc? Is he or she a good friend or prone to drama? Are they a good citizen? Do they think outside the box? Are they creative? Do they participate? "

The above is 100% relevant, and are good things to know about your child. How they are doing and compared to the other kids in the class is 100% irrelevant, and it's none of your business how the other students are doing. Worry about your kid: are they learning? Engaged? Improving? Etc. How they are compared to their peers means nothing, because you don't know what level the peers are at, nor should you.

I do not believe the poster who said there are children who don't know where they stand as far as levels in reading/math group (certainly by a few weeks into first grade they all know. They also know which kids don't do their homework or classwork, which are the disruptive ones who throw pencils across the classroom, which ones talk non-stop instead of paying attention, Etc). To me that's a clueless child who has bigger issues. Or, perhaps the parents are putting on so much pressure, the child doesn't want to say they're at the bottom, or even, I'm not at the top. I don't know every childs situation, but I promise you, the kids do know where they stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I used to be more honest with parents earlier in my career, but I have learned that some parents become enraged if told their average student is anything other than gifted. If you had experienced the craziness I have endured, you would be ambiguous, too.

Yes, I know a mom that flipped out, stormed out of her conference, and went the office demanding a conference with the principal because of less than outstanding comments a teacher made that compared her child's performance with others in the class. I can see why teachers would refrain.

[Anonymous]

I understand the hesitancy of teachers to provide 'real' feedback, but I would hope that some targeted comments from the parents that that they really want to know honest feedback on weaknesses so they can partner with the teacher to address problems would open the door.

[Anonymous]

Not at all my experience with over a dozen McPs teachers. They’ve always been happy to tell me when my child is way above grade level or appropriately at grade level. I think there’s more hesitation to tell you if your child is lagging in skills, however. No one likes to be the bearer of bad news, I guess.