I hate how the teachers at our school won't tell you where your kids really stands. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Schools see parents as the enemy, in many cases, to be given as little info. as possible lest they suggest some special service for their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools see parents as the enemy, in many cases, to be given as little info. as possible lest they suggest some special service for their child.

This is a very sad commentary. Why would a teacher view me as an enemy? What about my behavior would elicit that response?

[Anonymous]

Twenty year public school employee here and I certainly don't view parents as enemies. Of course there are some parents that make my job more difficult but the overwhelming majority are collaborative and appreciative. I'm sorry OP isn't receiving specific feedback. Try emailing the teacher and copying an administrator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools see parents as the enemy, in many cases, to be given as little info. as possible lest they suggest some special service for their child.

Or worse, your teacher and the county tester agree your child has a issue that could benefit from their therapist, but because it is not a more severe learning disability they refuse service for more difficult cases. Nice, my significant tax dollars at work, NOT. Force ranking kids with learning disabilities in order to triage county resources.
Even the private therapist we had to eventually save up for and go to was shocked the county did not take her. She was saddened to hear they only service “kids they cannnot understand or whose LD will most directly affect how the child learns”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t understand why you feel you need to know this.

I don't understand it either. But, OP, if this is information you want, then I suggest that you e-mail the teacher to set up brief, face-to-face meetings where you specifically mention your concerns about your children and specifically ask for the information you want.

I also don't understand what is meaningless about "on grade level".

[Anonymous]

As a former teacher I can tell you some years you have really smart groups and some years...not so much so how your kid stacks up can change depending on the group, so this is not always info that tells a lot.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to know how your kid ranked in his/her class? The students uaually know who are the smart kids in the class so you could ask your child. By the way, how other kids do in the class is not your problem. Do you want to brag Jane is number one in her class?

[Anonymous]

Worry if your child is doing his or her best and support achieving that. Peers will change constantly.

[Anonymous]

I've found this with all three kids and have found it frustrating. What I do now for the youngest is ask for MAP scores whenever they do an assessment. The school can tell you the school averages (some schools are more forthcoming than others). It's not ideal in that it's only two subjects (math, reading) and uses a particular methodology so you miss the subjective assessment of the teacher. But it can give you a better sense that 'proficient.'

[Anonymous]

I've had the same experience. The teachers have rarely given me enough info in conferences. They always pull out the report card and focus there because I suppose grades are what most parents care about. Not me.

Is my child engaged? Are they slower to pick up material than the typical child? Does my child seem happy, stressed, confident, worried, etc? Is he or she a good friend or prone to drama? Are they a good citizen? Do they think outside the box? Are they creative? Do they participate?

As far as academics, they only tell me my child meets benchmarks or is on grade level, whether my child seems to be struggling mightily or appears to me to be cruising along. I've never been told my child is in the lowest groups for math or reading directly, but I have deduced it. Even when I have asked directly I was told the groups are fluid. This is important information to have because maybe it means a tutor would be helpful. Just this week I discovered my child is below grade level in a subject. I met with the teacher last week and the teacher said DC was doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had the same experience. The teachers have rarely given me enough info in conferences. They always pull out the report card and focus there because I suppose grades are what most parents care about. Not me.

Is my child engaged? Are they slower to pick up material than the typical child? Does my child seem happy, stressed, confident, worried, etc? Is he or she a good friend or prone to drama? Are they a good citizen? Do they think outside the box? Are they creative? Do they participate?

As far as academics, they only tell me my child meets benchmarks or is on grade level, whether my child seems to be struggling mightily or appears to me to be cruising along. I've never been told my child is in the lowest groups for math or reading directly, but I have deduced it. Even when I have asked directly I was told the groups are fluid. This is important information to have because maybe it means a tutor would be helpful. Just this week I discovered my child is below grade level in a subject. I met with the teacher last week and the teacher said DC was doing well.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Seasoned teacher here. As a younger teacher, I used to give parents how I saw their kids doing relative to peers. Now I will only do it if asked directly.

TBH, sometimes when parents ask exactly where their child stood relative to peers, it creates problems for me. On one occasion, the parent was attempting to get me to admit that their kid was the smartest in the class. When I did not give her that answer, she questioned my competence. Another parent demanded to sit in the class and she gave me her assessment of every child in the class and why her child was better. Another parent broadcasted to other parents that I said her child was the smartest kid in the class.
Mostly, I try to limit my remarks to what that particular kid needs and I steer the discussion away from the peer group. A good teacher can give you the feedback you want without a peer ranking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seasoned teacher here. As a younger teacher, I used to give parents how I saw their kids doing relative to peers. Now I will only do it if asked directly.

TBH, sometimes when parents ask exactly where their child stood relative to peers, it creates problems for me. On one occasion, the parent was attempting to get me to admit that their kid was the smartest in the class. When I did not give her that answer, she questioned my competence. Another parent demanded to sit in the class and she gave me her assessment of every child in the class and why her child was better. Another parent broadcasted to other parents that I said her child was the smartest kid in the class.
Mostly, I try to limit my remarks to what that particular kid needs and I steer the discussion away from the peer group. A good teacher can give you the feedback you want without a peer ranking.

Yes, this is exactly why teachers should NOT compare kids to their peers. Teachers do not want to deal with parents bragging that their kid is smarter or the smartest in the class to other parents. I do believe that teachers can and should give feedback on whether the child is in a certain math or reading group. That is useful information and not a direct comparison to another student. It just tells you if they are high, average, or low and may influence a decision to get assistance.

I was very impressed with a recent parent - teacher conference for my son and felt the teachers knew him for all his strengths and weaknesses. They clearly conveyed to me that he is further ahead in math and reading because they were differentiating him in those subjects. They never once compared him to or mentioned other kids in the class. They told me all his weaknesses and also gave ideas for how to address them. It was a very insightful meeting.

[Anonymous]

I don't care how my kid is doing compared to her peers, but I do like more detailed feedback about her strengths and weaknesses, the areas where she's made good progress, etc. That would be my complaint, more than the refusal to tell me about other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care how my kid is doing compared to her peers, but I do like more detailed feedback about her strengths and weaknesses, the areas where she's made good progress, etc. That would be my complaint, more than the refusal to tell me about other kids.

I agree with this as well.