Sex after a baby?
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Anonymous
| I'm not sure if this belongs here or in the parenting. This is non-explicit so please no nasty stuff. I ( a woman) have a 3-month-old baby, and a wonderful husband. I am 35 and he's 37, and have been together for 4 years. We are still in love and happy, but sex is just shaky. We used to have sex ( yes, even during pregnancy) 1-3 times a day. We had the drought to until 8 weeks, and started having sex. I want it everyday to every other day, but he has twice in the past week said " Not tonight..I'm too tired". Could he be cheating? We average sex 2-4 times a week. I heard many times about the guy being eager to have sex with his wife again, but he was only excited the first couple of times. I'm starting to worry he isn't attracted to me anymore. I don't know if I should ignore or have a candid discussion with him. |
Anonymous
| Just talk to him about your concerns. |
Anonymous
| If you're splitting feeding times, then I'd say he's actually tired. Shocker. |
Anonymous
| Give it a few months, if his pattern permanently changes, he is cheating. |
Anonymous
| Give it a few months, if his pattern permanently changes, he is cheating. |
Anonymous
Op here. We do but he's a very easy baby. He's been sleeping 6-8 hour stretches since 8 weeks old. He is 11 weeks and sleep 8 - 7 with one wakeup a wakeup at 1 and 4. He feed him at 1 and I feed him at 4, and he does the night routine with the baby most nights. I don't think lack of sleep is it. We both get 6-8 hour hour stretches a night. I still haven't lost the last 10lbs and ended up with stretchmarks. I am worried he isn't attracted because he likes super fit women. |
Anonymous
| Op here. I know it's crazy to worry about sex so early on, but I do. I don't want to be one of those people who just turns into mommy mode, and then the spouses lose their romance. I read a lot of that on here. I want to keep that spark and intimacy alive. I thought he would be more happy since his wife is wanting sex with him after having a baby. Most of our other married friends with new babies aren't having sex. |
Anonymous
That's really great, but there's an adaptation for both of you. You've become. Family. Give it time for everyone to adjust. And talk to your husband! |
Anonymous
| My DH is a total horndog and he was so tired he turned down sex a lot in the first year, even though I did most of the feedings. I'll also be honest- he was less attracted to me because of the weight. It was one thing when I had a baby in me, but after DC was born I just looked really fat and that was a turn off for him. Now that I've lost the weight and we get enough sleep, he's back to wanting sex all the time, ha. |
Anonymous
| Yeah we started at 6 weeks but I know dh wasn't as attracted to my body postpartum. It got a lot better once the weight fell off. He also wasn't attracted to me pregnant. He's nice guy but it's human nature. |
Anonymous
OP here. I think the weight may be the issue. I gained 30 and lost 20 easily. I'm short so 10lbs is more noticeable. |
Anonymous
| Just try to be nice to each other. A first kid is a bit of a shock. But him caring about 10 pounds? That would be pretty low. |
Anonymous
| Maybe you are stretched out and it’s not the same anymore? |
Anonymous
| Did he see your vagina during childbirth? That is a huge turnoff for some men |
Anonymous
If that were the case, the marriage would be over for me. I could never be attracted to such a delicate man. |