Does your teen let your follow him on social media?

[Anonymous]

My teen uses Instagram and Snapchat. I follow him on Instagram, but now I understand he has another account (finsta) fake Instagram account. I saw it when checking his phone the other day. Oh well.

Also on Snapchat, he is a friend, but about a month ago he blocked me from seeing his "stories."

Is this typical? He's 16. I'm not making a big deal about it.

[Anonymous]

There is no "let."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

This was my exact first thought, verbatim.

Either he lets you follow him or he loses his phone (or gets a flip phone with no internet capability), and the family computer/iPad has controls that don’t allow these sites/apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+1

When my oldest was in middle school facebook was all the rage for kids his age. He decided not to get a facebook because he didn't want me following him (there was no option). Fine by me, to this day he never got facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

Well, there is.

If he wants me to let him have an account, I'll be following. ?

[Anonymous]

Not a question mark there, a smile.

[Anonymous]

We definitely followed early on. As a Senior and 18 in a couple of months, we still follow his Insta, but not his Finsta. After some initial conversations in the first year or so about appropriate social media posts, he's never given us a cause for concern. I would also surmise that most of the truly objectional stuff is on Snapchat or something similar which you can't follow.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm really torn about it. I have monitored him since he was 13. Initially his account was logged in on my phone and I saw everything. Eventually when I saw he used it responsibility, I logged out and followed. It has been only the past month that he blocked me from seeing stories. He is really starting to come into his own and expecting more privacy. He is almost 17....on the verge of adulthood. He's an excellent student, and if more of a nerd socially than a partier. My sense is that it is time to start letting go. It's hard, but I do trust him to not do something stupid based on his past behavior on social media. I knew many here would disagree, but I thought it would start a dialogue about when it is time to loosen the strings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+1,000,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+1,000,000.

I wonder how many of these commenters have older teens. I felt this way when my DD was in early teens, but now that she is older, I see how things change and how parents need to adjust things. It's an issue of respect and trust when they get close to adulthood. Big difference between 13 and 17!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm really torn about it. I have monitored him since he was 13. Initially his account was logged in on my phone and I saw everything. Eventually when I saw he used it responsibility, I logged out and followed. It has been only the past month that he blocked me from seeing stories. He is really starting to come into his own and expecting more privacy. He is almost 17....on the verge of adulthood. He's an excellent student, and if more of a nerd socially than a partier. My sense is that it is time to start letting go. It's hard, but I do trust him to not do something stupid based on his past behavior on social media. I knew many here would disagree, but I thought it would start a dialogue about when it is time to loosen the strings.

My kids are still young but I agree with this approach and agree that if he's proven himself to be responsible you can lighten up a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm really torn about it. I have monitored him since he was 13. Initially his account was logged in on my phone and I saw everything. Eventually when I saw he used it responsibility, I logged out and followed. It has been only the past month that he blocked me from seeing stories. He is really starting to come into his own and expecting more privacy. He is almost 17....on the verge of adulthood. He's an excellent student, and if more of a nerd socially than a partier. My sense is that it is time to start letting go. It's hard, but I do trust him to not do something stupid based on his past behavior on social media. I knew many here would disagree, but I thought it would start a dialogue about when it is time to loosen the strings.

My kids are still young but I agree with this approach and agree that if he's proven himself to be responsible you can lighten up a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+1,000,000.

I wonder how many of these commenters have older teens. I felt this way when my DD was in early teens, but now that she is older, I see how things change and how parents need to adjust things. It's an issue of respect and trust when they get close to adulthood. Big difference between 13 and 17!!

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Who pays for the phone?

Honestly though, if you start it young, you will fairly quickly become disinterested. We very seldom look at any of our kids' social media stuff, we NEVER post comments, and we don't discuss anything that we do occasionally see. I think they've sort of forgotten that we lurk out there occasionally. We also don't draw attention to anything that might be edgy; we just let it go and would only intervene if we saw something that really threatened their safety or well-being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+100 well said!!