Was I wrong in this situation with my "friend"?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago a friend from college wanted to reconnect. She and I were close in college and afterward but she always had a penchant for drama and would routinely drop in and out of my life if she felt like I had "wronged" her. For example we went on vacation (15 years ago) and she stopped talking to me for the last few days of our vacation because some guy at the resort was hitting on me and she was interested in him. I was not returning his advances. But she didn't speak to me for about 2-3 years after.

Anyway we are now in our early 40s. I am married and have 2 children - including a one year old. She is single, no kids, never been married. She wanted to come down for a weekend and I said sure but I'm still nursing and baby is still getting up a lot at night so can't do anything crazy. She said oh that's ok - I just want to come see you. Fine - books her tickets to fly down.

For the last 6 weeks she has been complaining on Facebook that she is so deathly sick. She has had strep twice and sinus infections etc etc. She just recently posted how she needs to start antibiotics but didn't want to. I texted her to say hey we can reschedule for another weekend when you are feeling better. She says she's too cheap to reschedule so she'll just suck it up for 24 hours and she'll come. I say ok, just rest up. And also, my 1 year old is on meds that suppress her immune system so if friend thinks she has a fever or is contagious then we should definitely reschedule. She write and says "I don't know what you mean by that". I clarify that for the baby to get sick on top of everything else would be a big pain.

The next morning at 6:30 she texts me "flights cancelled". I said "I'm sorry to hear that. Let's figure out another weekend". And I haven't heard back from her in over 24 hours.

Was I wrong? Should I have not said anything? Am I crazy in thinking that a true friend would actually care about your kid and at least ask "oh what meds is she on? Is she ok?"

I'm kind of baffled at her response but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Just feel like she's being extremely selfish.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I think it would be a good thing if you never hear from his “friend” again.

[Anonymous]

She feels insulted because she thinks you were trying to tell her not to come (which you were). Rightly or wrongly, doesn't matter. You guys are not really friends. She was ridiculous on the trip from 15 years ago, but you in return you are still nursing a grudge about it. Be happy you haven't heard from her and don't reschedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be a good thing if you never hear from his “friend” again.

+1

[Anonymous]

I suspect you have enough friends that you can let this one go. She sounds crazy and self-involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect you have enough friends that you can let this one go. She sounds crazy and self-involved.

OP, she is single and no kids. She has only herself to care about. She probably cannot believe that you would put your child before her. She does not understand why her being sick/contagious would be any big deal. Like I said, she has never had to care for anyone except herself. She does not get it. I would just drop the friendship (there isn't really a friendship anyway).

[Anonymous]

Tough love from me:

You are very silly indeed, OP, for continuing a relationship with this insane person. Your first experience with her extreme self-centeredness should have been the only red flag you needed.

If she ever tries to reconnect with you, please do not respond.

[Anonymous]

All of the above except the person who said you hold a grudge. I don't think you do. Maybe if you did it would help keep her away better.

She sounds awful. don't engage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Tough love from me:

You are very silly indeed, OP, for continuing a relationship with this insane person. Your first experience with her extreme self-centeredness should have been the only red flag you needed.

If she ever tries to reconnect with you, please do not respond.

Haha! Yes! I just thought that people grow up and mature. Apparently not. Thanks for the tough love.

[Anonymous]

ew, cut her our of your life. She will not be understanding of your babies needs when she gets there and will definitely not understand having to be around to nurse every 3 hours or so

[Anonymous]

Oh boy!!! She is a princess. I can see why she is single and no kids.

I would always take my kids health over any "friend" visit. You did the right thing. Drop her and move on.

[Anonymous]

You are right, she is wrong. She does not deserve your friendship. Be done with her.

[Anonymous]

OP, is she hot?

[Anonymous]

let this "friendship" drop. it needs to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be a good thing if you never hear from his “friend” again.

+1