Self-regulation and Senior Year

[Anonymous]

I have a rising senior and another thread got me thinking about how to best prepare her for college and being on her own. Should we loosen curfew and let her decide? She already does her own laundry and is responsible for budgeting her own money/bank account. She is a top student and very responsible.

TIA

[Anonymous]

I've got a senior this year, too. I think that by this point a lot of the groundwork has already been laid and they can be a lot more self sufficient. Senior year is going to be fairly rigorous course wise, so between school, volunteering and work I think he will just be plain busy as it is.

I'll keep tabs on him but I expect that he'll stay on top of things.

[Anonymous]

Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong. My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

[Anonymous]

I've got a senior this year too. I agree that the groundwork has been laid and he's pretty independent now. I'm hoping we just cruise control through senior year.

[Anonymous]

Our goal all along has been minimal oversight senior year so we have been loosening up each year that goes by but it is still hard. I have trouble sleeping at night unless everyone is home safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

I'm not the poster you quoted. My senior has never had a curfew. If he's out and about he's always come home at an acceptable time. If he's going to an evening activity we just agree on a reasonable time he should be home depending on how far away he will be and the actual activity. My kid will be a senior this year and 18 in 6 months. Never had a problem once with this arrangement.

[Anonymous]

OP ~ I wouldn't announce a change. Let circumstance, and your daughter's push for independence lead any change in rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

OH please. Honestly, there's only so late anything is even open for them to be out doing. They'll either come home or go to a friend's house for the night by midnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

OH please. Honestly, there's only so late anything is even open for them to be out doing. They'll either come home or go to a friend's house for the night by midnight.

Agreed. My parents never gave me a curfew but I was always home by 11. or 11.30 at the latest. The Burbs are not that wild that much goes on beyond midnight!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

I'm not the poster you quoted. My senior has never had a curfew. If he's out and about he's always come home at an acceptable time. If he's going to an evening activity we just agree on a reasonable time he should be home depending on how far away he will be and the actual activity. My kid will be a senior this year and 18 in 6 months. Never had a problem once with this arrangement.

That's a curfew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

OH please. Honestly, there's only so late anything is even open for them to be out doing. They'll either come home or go to a friend's house for the night by midnight.

Agreed. My parents never gave me a curfew but I was always home by 11. or 11.30 at the latest. The Burbs are not that wild that much goes on beyond midnight!

So you are fine with them staying out all night?

[Anonymous]

I never had a curfew. I just had to tell my parents where I was, what time I thought I'd be home and call if I was later than planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like PP, I plan to keep tabs on my senior and will only interfere if something is terribly wrong.

Anonymous wrote:
My senior will have no curfew and very little interference from me.

I found something terribly wrong for you.

OH please. Honestly, there's only so late anything is even open for them to be out doing. They'll either come home or go to a friend's house for the night by midnight.

Agreed. My parents never gave me a curfew but I was always home by 11. or 11.30 at the latest. The Burbs are not that wild that much goes on beyond midnight!

So you are fine with them staying out all night?

Different poster, but have raised a few teens with my youngest two kids still to go. Yes, I'm fine with that provided that no illegal or seriously problematic behavior is going on, and no major issues arise as a result. If my 16+ year old teen has demonstrated responsibility by making choices that enable them to meet all of their obligations and stay out of trouble I'm fine with them making their own choices in basically any matter that doesn't inconvenience someone else.

If the kids stay out all night but still make it to school on time, do their work and behave, contribute to their after school activities, have time for their job, get any family obligations handled well and on time, and are in a civil mood -- Sure, I'm fine with that. There's no reason not to be because that choice isn't causing them problems.

I suppose we're what might be called permissive parents, because we only ever had what few rules were necessary to ensure safety and the smooth running of our family's lives.

[Anonymous]

Curfew? Always hated curfew and I don't see the point. I did plenty of drinking when I was fifteen/sixteen and got home by curfew. Only learned how to behave sober during those minutes when parents greet you coming home.