How do I stop nagging?

[Anonymous]

I admit that I nag my husband. I don't know how to stop though. I nag about helping with cleaning, waking in the middle of the night with the baby, fixing something simple around the house, etc. do I just shut up and not ask him to do things? Do I stop caring? Do I just do it myself? Yes he has always been like this... yes I am complaining now... and no we will not be divorcing over this

[Anonymous]

I just started doing it myself.

Then I realized that if I was everything myself, what was the purpose of being married, so I divorced him. My life is much easier now. Since you don't want to do that, maybe try a different approach.

[Anonymous]

Hire it out. Once I hired someone to clean, cook, and do laundry, we stopped fighting. its cheaper than rent on another place to live.

[Anonymous]

Be honest, are you a nag or is your husband lazy? What does he do around the house without you asking or reminding?

[Anonymous]

Making a suggestion/request more than twice is nagging.

Ask and say what you want to, but not more than 2 times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Making a suggestion/request more than twice is nagging.

Ask and say what you want to, but not more than 2 times.

And if asked once and it doesn't get done?

[Anonymous]

Stop asking over and over at random times. It puts him on edge. Set a time with him to sit down and plan what chores will be done by who, both regular and one-time things, in the next week. If it doesn't get done, ask why and genuinely listen to the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop asking over and over at random times. It puts him on edge. Set a time with him to sit down and plan what chores will be done by who, both regular and one-time things, in the next week. If it doesn't get done, ask why and genuinely listen to the answer.

OP here. We have sat down together, and we made a short list of what he was going to get done within a week. He came up with everything and I said great. The week passed... not one thing was done. I asked him what happened to the list and how come nothing got done? He said he just never got around to it. He has two days off and I took the kids with me, over grandmas for a weekend to himself.

[Anonymous]

Learn how to not give a f---. It's so freeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learn how to not give a f---. It's so freeing.

Here's a book to help -

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck-mark-manson/1123517507

[Anonymous]

Is your husband frustrated by your occasional nagging or does he tolerate it because he knows that's just how you are?

If so then you should return the favor and tolerate his occasional procrastination because you know that's just how he is.

[Anonymous]

Stop assuming his free time is yours to control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop asking over and over at random times. It puts him on edge. Set a time with him to sit down and plan what chores will be done by who, both regular and one-time things, in the next week. If it doesn't get done, ask why and genuinely listen to the answer.

OP here. We have sat down together, and we made a short list of what he was going to get done within a week. He came up with everything and I said great. The week passed... not one thing was done. I asked him what happened to the list and how come nothing got done? He said he just never got around to it. He has two days off and I took the kids with me, over grandmas for a weekend to himself.

Did you ask him why he said he would do it and then did not? Point out that it damages the relationship when you cannot count on him to keep his word, and that it is not fair to you.

It sounds like he agreed to it because it was what you wanted to hear and he is conflict-averse. Emphasize to him that you would rather have him decline a chore, than make empty promises.

[Anonymous]

Just stop. You don't need to wipe the counter down every single night. Close the cabinet doors if he doesn't, it literally takes half a second. Just stop. It's not hard. Realize half the sh*t you nag about probably isn't a necessity to life.

[Anonymous]

I just do things myself and appreciate the other things about my husband that are more important.