Most affordable way to adopt

[Anonymous]

I'm 37 and really want to be a mother. To make a long story short, the man I thought I was going to marry broke up with me last year after being together for six years. I'm a public school teacher so obviously I don't have $50,000 lying around to adopt a domestic newborn - though I have lots of love to give to a child in need. Does anyone have any suggestions for affordable ways to adopt a child? I can spend $15,000 - $20,000 on the adoption process. I live in Montgomery County and do not currently own a home, if this makes a difference. I am financially secure though and have excellent credit.

[Anonymous]

I believe through the foster care system is the least expensive way. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why not just use a sperm donor? Adopting can be so hard and expensive

[Anonymous]

Just go get knocked up. Don't tell him or put his name on the birth certificate.

[Anonymous]

Parenthood is forever and can be very challenging. Have you considered being a foster parent, just to see how you would cope with the lifestyle change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenthood is forever and can be very challenging. Have you considered being a foster parent, just to see how you would cope with the lifestyle change?

Is that what you did? Your parents?

Foster kids aren't "trial kids".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenthood is forever and can be very challenging. Have you considered being a foster parent, just to see how you would cope with the lifestyle change?

Is that what you did? Your parents?

Foster kids aren't "trial kids".

Agree. And fostering is not the same as being a legal parent. I've done both. The only thing I can say is that fostering gives you the 24-7 perspective but so does a puppy.

OP, as someone mentioned, the least expensive way is through the County. Chances are you won't get a baby, but there are lots of great things about adopting an older child.

[Anonymous]

Two of my siblings were adopted out of DC foster care. No costs if I recall and I was an adult when they came. Both were drug exposed newborns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of my siblings were adopted out of DC foster care. No costs if I recall and I was an adult when they came. Both were drug exposed newborns.

How are they doing now?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm worried about becoming attached to a foster child and then having to part with them.

[Anonymous]

Just use a sperm donor with iui

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm worried about becoming attached to a foster child and then having to part with them.

Yeah - this is not the same. Admirable and necessary, but volunteering to be a parent figure then give the kids up is not the emotional ride you are asking to ride here.

[Anonymous]

We live in MoCo and have adopted twice, the first time via domestic private adoption and the second time through foster care. The cost of the first adoption (home study, advertising, travel, legal fees) was $19K. Keep in mind that if you go this route, and given your income, you can take advantage of the Adoption Tax Credit. Domestic private adoption is a good path to adopting a new born or an infant, if that is what you would like to do. Jennifer Fairfax, an adoption attorney based in MoCo, is an excellent and very experienced lawyer if you wanted to pursue this. Our second is the biological half-sister to our first, and when she went into foster care without the possibility of reunification we were contacted and invited to adopt her. The adoption of DD was basically free. It took two years to finalize her adoption during which time we received a daily stipend and a contribution to the cost of the child development center she attended. Even now, post-adoption, DD has health insurance through Maryland Medicaid. The most affordable way to adopt is by adopting through foster care. But you likely won't be able to adopt an infant. I wish you all the best. There are more than 400,000 kids in foster care in the States, many of whom are available for adoption and who need a forever family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just use a sperm donor? Adopting can be so hard and expensive

Please make sure this is not a knee -jerk reaction to being dumped. A kid and motherhood is not going to replace a spouse if that is what you want. Single motherhood also throws a whole new dynamic into dating, so really consider that.
Parenting is also incredibly expensive. What does your support system look like you're going to need help, so if you don't have family and friends can you afford a nanny?

If that all checks out this is the route I would go. It sounds like you really want to start at the beginning ( and there's nothing wrong with that).

Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine from high school was in a similar situation.
She was in her late 30s, hadn't found the right partner yet but really wanted to be a mother. She also was a public school teacher.
I don't know for sure that she used a sperm donor (she hasn't said and I would NEVER ask!) but she did get pregnant and now has two beautiful twin girls.