What to do when you've picked the wrong suburb

[Anonymous]

The below NYtimes article describes people who left the city for a suburb, only to realize it was not a good fit. It can be a difficult decision whether or not to leave a city in and of itself. deciding to move again in little time, without knowing if it will be a good fit, is financially and emotionally taxing.

Switching suburbs after you’ve plunked down a hefty down payment and settled your children in school seems infinitely challenging, and indeed some recent transplants who have doubts about their new communities resign themselves to the idea that there is no such thing as a perfect suburb.

But for others, the gnawing sensation that something is not quite right pushes them to keep searching for another suburb, a better suburb, a place where they might actually feel at home. Maybe it’s the commute. Maybe the schools are too big or too small, or the town is too quiet or not quiet enough. Maybe what they thought was important — the big yard and the birds singing out the windows — was not so important after all.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/28/realestate/what-to-do-when-youve-picked-the-wrong-suburb.html

Does this article resonate with anyone- did you choose the wrong suburb and then ultimately find an area that was best for you? Any tips to get it right the first time?

I still live in the city (which is no longer D.C., though it used to be), so I don't have any personal stories, but am interested in this topic.

[Anonymous]

Millennials were taught that everything was supposed to be perfect. There are tradeoffs in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennials were taught that everything was supposed to be perfect. There are tradeoffs in life.

Kindly shut up about millennials. The people in the article are in their 40s. Millennials do not, on the whole, have school-aged kids or own homes in the suburbs.

OP, I'm 38 and in 2009 I bought a townhouse near Metro in the suburbs. Because Metro was my focus, I didn't really think about good schools, the nearby park, the good highway access. Now that I need those things, I really feel lucky to have ended up here - but it was just luck.

Now that I'm looking to move to a SFH, I worry about recreating what I have and also moving into somewhere with other kids and community. Neighbors make such a huge difference. I completely understand why there is no database of where kids live (!) but I still wish there was for my purpose.

[Anonymous]

I think there's less variety in the suburbs here than there is in the NY metro area. NY is full of extremes, suburbs included.

[Anonymous]

Westchester is better than Long Island. Not news.

[Anonymous]

Voting patterns. That conservative states (or not liberal enough) would have conservative public school curriculums, conservative school policies. We feel stifled. We wish we could have provided our children with a better environment.

[Anonymous]

This is why it's good to rent first in an area before committing to buying, regardless of setting (city or suburb). I realize renting isn't always appealing or feasible, but the opportunity cost seems worth it IMO.

[Anonymous]

Going to rent first and use the year to find a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's less variety in the suburbs here than there is in the NY metro area. NY is full of extremes, suburbs included.

Perhaps, but there is still variety. When we moved to the suburbs, DHs boss strongly suggested some and highly discouraged Takoma Park. He said we would hate it. Realized a few years later that he really didn't understand us and he and especially his wife were very different from us. We bought in a W school district and it was a poor fit from the beginning. We tried for years to make it work, but it was always a square peg/round hole thing. We moved this summer to a completely different suburb, and we are already so much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennials were taught that everything was supposed to be perfect. There are tradeoffs in life.

Perfect is a fine target, I am sorry we're thought at an early age to ok is good enough for you.

[Anonymous]

The keyword someone else mentioned is tradeoffs. It's never perfect. Moving will fix some problems but bring you new ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why it's good to rent first in an area before committing to buying, regardless of setting (city or suburb). I realize renting isn't always appealing or feasible, but the opportunity cost seems worth it IMO.

This is good advice. We are currently in a "bad fit" suburb. I don't really have immediate plans to leave, but I don't want to stay here forever. I don't hate it or anything, it just doesn't feel like home and my commute is too long. It's really just a starter home.

[Anonymous]

We first bought in one neighborhood and while we weren't unhappy it wasn't the best fit. So the chance to buy on our fav neighborhood nearby came up a few years ago and we took it. So much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's less variety in the suburbs here than there is in the NY metro area. NY is full of extremes, suburbs included.

Perhaps, but there is still variety. When we moved to the suburbs, DHs boss strongly suggested some and highly discouraged Takoma Park. He said we would hate it. Realized a few years later that he really didn't understand us and he and especially his wife were very different from us. We bought in a W school district and it was a poor fit from the beginning. We tried for years to make it work, but it was always a square peg/round hole thing. We moved this summer to a completely different suburb, and we are already so much happier.

Did you end up in Takoma Park?

[Anonymous]

My tip to get it right the first time is to wait until you have kids and they are nearing school age.

We bought a bigger, nicer house before having kids. Once we had kids and they were near school age, we realized a different type of neighborhood would be better for them. So then we moved again, but this time we focused on neighborhood not house, and if the neighborhood was kid friendly.