What to do when you've picked the wrong suburb

[Anonymous]

People move around for all sorts of reasons, but articles like this just try to stir the pot by getting people to claim their latest address is so much better than their last one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's less variety in the suburbs here than there is in the NY metro area. NY is full of extremes, suburbs included.

Perhaps, but there is still variety. When we moved to the suburbs, DHs boss strongly suggested some and highly discouraged Takoma Park. He said we would hate it. Realized a few years later that he really didn't understand us and he and especially his wife were very different from us. We bought in a W school district and it was a poor fit from the beginning. We tried for years to make it work, but it was always a square peg/round hole thing. We moved this summer to a completely different suburb, and we are already so much happier.

Did you end up in Takoma Park?

We did not. I don't want to share the new location, since I've already shared specifics. It's more family friendly, a higher percentage of outdoorsy/crunchy people. Just generally a better fit for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Voting patterns. That conservative states (or not liberal enough) would have conservative public school curriculums, conservative school policies. We feel stifled. We wish we could have provided our children with a better environment.

Then move to Baltimore you ideologue. Or maybe Detroit? Please tell us about these horrible conservative areas!

[Anonymous]

We almost bought in a school cluster that had a decent ES but the middle and high school were not good. Luckily, we realized we should focus on finding a completely good pyramid so we would not have to move after a few years. Very happy to have made this decision.

[Anonymous]

We moved to not the right suburb with first house (moved from D.C.)Focused too much on affordability and not on neighborhood. Hated it!

Had to wait 7 years to sell. Ended up in the right place, just over mortgaged.

Sh@$ happens. You deal with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to not the right suburb with first house (moved from D.C.)Focused too much on affordability and not on neighborhood. Hated it!

Had to wait 7 years to sell. Ended up in the right place, just over mortgaged.

Sh@$ happens. You deal with it

We did the same but it was the only way for us to afford the down payment where we really wanted to be.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a great thread. Finding your community is a big part of what we're all trying to do here and when we have kids we typically need to move. It's not necessarily about finding a "better" neighborhood or "better" school in my opinion but finding a good fit for your entire family. For me "better" doesn't mean more expensive, it means finding folks like me. Happy parents = happy kids typically. We moved too far out in the quest for a great house and in retrospect we should have focused more on neighborhood first, and the house second. Not that house isn't important, but in the right neighborhood you can continue to make improvements to your home. In the wrong neighborhood there is nothing you can do but stay and be unhappy or move. I think this is hard when you move from DC to the burbs because there are so many neighborhoods within areas its sometimes hard to tell them apart. If you're a city person you can't go wrong with the close-in, inside the beltway neighborhoods typically but they are a bit different so check out the neighborhoods, walk around, spend time in the neighborhoods, etc. I haven't met too many folks who love the city and also LOVE their very far out suburban home. Something to keep in mind. I also think too many people (especially on DCUM) are too focused on more expensive neighborhoods as "better" when in fact they are not for everyone. Bottom line - you might have to save or make some sacrifices but if you've already picked the wrong suburb, you can make a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great thread. Finding your community is a big part of what we're all trying to do here and when we have kids we typically need to move. It's not necessarily about finding a "better" neighborhood or "better" school in my opinion but finding a good fit for your entire family. For me "better" doesn't mean more expensive, it means finding folks like me. Happy parents = happy kids typically. We moved too far out in the quest for a great house and in retrospect we should have focused more on neighborhood first, and the house second. Not that house isn't important, but in the right neighborhood you can continue to make improvements to your home. In the wrong neighborhood there is nothing you can do but stay and be unhappy or move. I think this is hard when you move from DC to the burbs because there are so many neighborhoods within areas its sometimes hard to tell them apart. If you're a city person you can't go wrong with the close-in, inside the beltway neighborhoods typically but they are a bit different so check out the neighborhoods, walk around, spend time in the neighborhoods, etc. I haven't met too many folks who love the city and also LOVE their very far out suburban home. Something to keep in mind. I also think too many people (especially on DCUM) are too focused on more expensive neighborhoods as "better" when in fact they are not for everyone. Bottom line - you might have to save or make some sacrifices but if you've already picked the wrong suburb, you can make a change.

x1000

People openly admit that they buy in certain areas for the schools. Most don't/won't have lifelong friends there, they are amenable to keeping the peace, that's about it. I couldn't stay long term in a high drama place, the people really are important. Some places look wonderful, until you actually live there.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in one of the suburbs in the article and I while I think DC 'burbs do have different personalities, I think it is probably harder to pick a suburb for people moving out of NYC. After all, a lot of new yorkers don't have cars, which can make it hard to randomly explore different towns and they also likely don't ever find themselves in Westchester, Fairfield County or Long Island just running errands the way that DC folks easily end up in Arlington or Bethesda or Fairfax for errands. Plus the NY suburbs are town governments, which makes them more distinct from one another. Plus when you move to the NY suburbs you are switching to another transit system (from the subway to Metro North or Path or LIRR) in most cases. While in DC, in most cases you are still on the same metro system -- just a few stops further out.

[Anonymous]

My grandma worked as the "welcome wagon" in my parents New York suburb. We moved all around the country every time and she would come with us and scour blocks for bikes and other signs of kids. Now that I have kids I really understand it. And to op we are still in the city also. We made the trade off for a shitty tiny house in a community we rented in and knew we loved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's less variety in the suburbs here than there is in the NY metro area. NY is full of extremes, suburbs included.

Perhaps, but there is still variety. When we moved to the suburbs, DHs boss strongly suggested some and highly discouraged Takoma Park. He said we would hate it. Realized a few years later that he really didn't understand us and he and especially his wife were very different from us. We bought in a W school district and it was a poor fit from the beginning. We tried for years to make it work, but it was always a square peg/round hole thing. We moved this summer to a completely different suburb, and we are already so much happier.

Did you end up in Takoma Park?

We did not. I don't want to share the new location, since I've already shared specifics. It's more family friendly, a higher percentage of outdoorsy/crunchy people. Just generally a better fit for us.

We are house hunting right now and would really love to know your area. We are also outdoor/crunch and kids will soon be in the picture for us

[Anonymous]

Would anyone like to share where they bought that "looked wonderful" but they hated after they lived there?

[Anonymous]

We bought YEARS ago on price and price only. We ended up accidentally in a great school pyramid, high ranking in all, walkable to elementary, middle, and high. We also bought in a neighborhood that we can walk to 2 grocery stores, coffee shop, restaurants, ice cream, and yoga/pilates. We also have miles and miles of blacktop trails and then the WOD. This was all coincidence since we only were desparate for a SFH in our price range.

To make things better we are along the toll road and our commute is 18min door to door with job mobility within Reston. Have never had to leave Reston to find new soild six figure incomes.

We are very happy and basically got lucky since we did absolutely no research. And now our PITI is so low relative to our incomes, ended up the perfect home....schools, commute, jobs, space, lifestyle, great neighbors.

[Anonymous]

We rented in the area for years before the children were school-aged, drive around, met and talked to people, until we knew exactly where we wanted to buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's less variety in the suburbs here than there is in the NY metro area. NY is full of extremes, suburbs included.

Perhaps, but there is still variety. When we moved to the suburbs, DHs boss strongly suggested some and highly discouraged Takoma Park. He said we would hate it. Realized a few years later that he really didn't understand us and he and especially his wife were very different from us. We bought in a W school district and it was a poor fit from the beginning. We tried for years to make it work, but it was always a square peg/round hole thing. We moved this summer to a completely different suburb, and we are already so much happier.

Did you end up in Takoma Park?

We did not. I don't want to share the new location, since I've already shared specifics. It's more family friendly, a higher percentage of outdoorsy/crunchy people. Just generally a better fit for us.

Oh please share. Or any other posters what other crunchy neighborhoods are out there besides TP. We are in Arlington and realize we are a bad fit (honestly we don't make enough money or SAH which is big part of it)