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Maybe I grew up on too much Disney, Jane Austen and Nora Ephron. Maybe I was a girl who thought her idealized visions of love and romance will come true once you find that one life-partner to bear life's up-and-downs with.
For whatever reason, I find myself sorely disappointed in my new 2 year marriage. We are not soulmates. I often feel misunderstood and unheard than listened to or validated. I feel like I talk to a wall sometimes. We live in our separate head spaces. We have nothing to talk about so I watch TV each night as we eat our dinner. There isn't a monetary benefit either. We are scraping by living paycheck to paycheck. I feel so uninspired by him and embarrassed by sketchy investigator job. He is so smart he could be a big fish but he likes tinkering with his okay-ish job without any monetary benefits or repute. Its not awful. He is a good good man. Honest. Faithful kind. Still I am finding this whole experience...meh... |
| Marriage is overrated. I'm married 25 years and filing for divorce next month. |
| Was there something different about the situation or your spouse when you made the decision to get married? |
| Tell your husband so he can move on from you and find someone who actually appreciates him. |
| What changed when you got married? I'm having a little trouble understanding why you married him if this is what it was like before. Did you somehow think he would magically change the second he said "I do"? Work on yourself and try to figure out why you have such a low opinion of yourself that you would choose to marry someone you don't particularly like. |
I just thought I saw qualities that it turned out weren't really there or were misrepresented. |
| No marriage is perfect, yet once kids come around it changes the dynamics. Get out OP before that happens. |
When women get old man will seek a younger mate. Women age like milk. |
It sounds like you didn't really know him. How low were you together for before getting married? |
2 years. Its not that I don't like him...I am just SO bored with our daily routine. When we were dating he had an interesting job which lead him to travel around the world. I took that to mean he was bold and adventurous. Now I learn he hated that and wants to live in the U.S. and will not even consider a posting abroad for a short time period. etc etc. He also graduated from an Ivy League which I thought meant he would pursue lucrative career options but turns out he was just a good student but doesn't care much for "material things" as he calls them. |
LOl I'm the poster and female. I have aged much better than my husband and look forward to not sneaking around to be with my AP. |
This is SUCH junk. I am definitely aging better than my DH. |
So what are YOU doing to make YOUR life less boring? If nothing, try some things then check back with us. In the meantime, use birth control, because kids would only make it worse. |
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You complain and complain. What exactly do you bring to the marriage? Why aren't you doing something exciting (as 16:48 pointed out)?
You sound boring as hell, masking it by claiming depression or dissatisfaction. |
This. Plan adventures and vacations. Take the bull by the horns. All I hear is he doesn't do this, he doesn't do that. What are YOU doing besides sitting on your fanny watching TV? |