Disappointment in Marriage

[Anonymous]

Did you live together and slide into marriage?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you expected him to be earning big money (since you mention his low earnings) and now that he's not your bored because your living paycheck to paycheck and doesn't have the job/career that you'd like him to have. If you really love him then you need to accept that his current status quo makes him happy and if it's financial reasons that your bored with then you figure out a way to make yourself happy and leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Wow. of course you share separate "head spaces" because you are different people. All us happily married people do the same.

I think it is very admirable your DH is not materialistic. If you are so into money, earn your own.

I feel sorry for this guy who sounds like a really good dude who made a bad choice in marrying you, and he doesn't sound like he even knows it yet.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Sounds like you didn't love him -- just the idea of what he represents. No wonder 50% of people get divorced. You approached marriage from the wrong direction. I say, get out, but only to save him from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was there something different about the situation or your spouse when you made the decision to get married?

I just thought I saw qualities that it turned out weren't really there or were misrepresented.

It sounds like you didn't really know him. How low were you together for before getting married?

2 years.

Its not that I don't like him...I am just SO bored with our daily routine. When we were dating he had an interesting job which lead him to travel around the world. I took that to mean he was bold and adventurous. Now I learn he hated that and wants to live in the U.S. and will not even consider a posting abroad for a short time period. etc etc. He also graduated from an Ivy League which I thought meant he would pursue lucrative career options but turns out he was just a good student but doesn't care much for "material things" as he calls them.

Based on the above, it doesn't seem like you knew him at all and rather made him up in your mind to be something he is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Sounds like you didn't love him -- just the idea of what he represents. No wonder 50% of people get divorced. You approached marriage from the wrong direction. I say, get out, but only to save him from you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Do you have an interesting job or lucrative career options?

[Anonymous]

You need to reset your expectations. And spend some time making yourself happy. If you are bored change things up. Take a class. Go to a concert. Start a book group. Husband's job is not I make you happy. That is your job.

[Anonymous]

Move on. Your husband deserves better.

[Anonymous]

This is not a problem with marriage in general, it is a problem with your specifically.

Face it, you don't love him. Divorce him so you can both be happier with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Sounds like you didn't love him -- just the idea of what he represents. No wonder 50% of people get divorced. You approached marriage from the wrong direction. I say, get out, but only to save him from you.

+1

+2

Did you guys not discuss ANY of this when you were dating? How did you not know he didn't love his job and wanted to stay in the US? How did you not realize he wasn't into "material things"?

[Anonymous]

Why did you marry him? Tell me your marriage vows and I can give you more specific advice.

If you read this forum much you know the importance of having a soulmate. You sound like a quality woman who can attract one. It would be a shame to go through the rest of your life without a soulmate.

Also, how's the sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women age like milk.

gross.