When you son is the only one who doesn't play sports

[Anonymous]

My son (10) is starting 5th grade/middle school this fall, and it appears that he's the only boy in his large group of friends who won't be playing a sport at school this fall. In fact, I don't know of any other boys in his grade that won't play a sport this upcoming semester. He does want to play baseball in the spring, but that will be many months away. (and he's not very good at it) Does anyone else have a son who doesn't play any sports when friends are all involved? He will be in Cub Scouts and we're talking about signing him up for Taekwondo. We also camp/hike/kayak as a family nearly year round, so he will get some exercise without being involved in a sport. The poor kid takes after his father and mother (me), so he doesn't really have an athletic bone in his body. Just curious to hear from other parents who kids aren't playing sports in a very sport-centric school/community.

[Anonymous]

I teach MS. The non-sports kids are in drama, dance, robotics (or other STEM programs), history club, etc. A lot are volunteering and racking up community awards. A good school will have many afterschool alternatives to sports. And there are tons of affordable Rec Center or private programs.

[Anonymous]

Can he swim ? Swim teams have all levels of swimmers

[Anonymous]

Almost everybody can play soccer

[Anonymous]

Well if he has friends, and if he is pursuing his own extracurricular interests, what exactly is the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost everybody can play soccer

Not my boys, lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can he swim ? Swim teams have all levels of swimmers

Swim isn't a fall sport.

[Anonymous]

fencing? archery? tennis? That's my non-athletic 7th grader.

[Anonymous]

It sounds as though the issue isn't that he's not doing sports. It's that he's not doing sports at school.

I've been trying to figure out a middle school that starts at 5th, has enough no cut sports for all the 5th graders, and doesn't make sports mandatory the way Bullis or Landon or Sidwell does, but I'm failing.

Given that, I think it's likely that there will be other boys not doing sports, and he just needs to find them. Does the school have things like choir or drama during the same time period? Most schools that put a high value on sports these are two different time periods.

[Anonymous]

The problem is with his group of friends, sorry to say. My 5th grader is sort of like this, with only low-key swimming, but so are most all of his friends. They do Scouts and computers, robotics, band, etc. Maybe he'll find his people in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds as though the issue isn't that he's not doing sports. It's that he's not doing sports at school.

I've been trying to figure out a middle school that starts at 5th, has enough no cut sports for all the 5th graders, and doesn't make sports mandatory the way Bullis or Landon or Sidwell does, but I'm failing.

Given that, I think it's likely that there will be other boys not doing sports, and he just needs to find them. Does the school have things like choir or drama during the same time period? Most schools that put a high value on sports these are two different time periods.

Congressional in Falls Church starts middle school in 5th. In 5th and 6th, sports are optional. They are required in 7th and 8th, but my non sporty child chose fitness (typical exercise stuff) for one season and running for the others. There are plenty of slow runners, and it hasn't seemed to have social ramifications.

[Anonymous]

My youngest isn't into sports. His older brothers were jocks. He is very involved in marching band, music (he plays in a rock band), computers, and JROTC. Kids find their thing. As long as they have something, they do fine.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the suggestion. In 5th grade the only two fall sports for boys at the school are cross country and football. (he's tiny and slow!) I like the idea of searching out other things that he can be involved in after school, but it seems like most of the kids are involved in sports during that time. I'll check with the school to see what other options exist.

Honestly, I'm okay with him being nonathletic. I just don't want his friendships to suffer if he's one of the only boys not playing sports.

[Anonymous]

Goodness, if his friends dump him because he doesn't play the same sport, then they aren't really friends. So get him involved in activities he does like, and he will make new friends. This will be most important if all those other boys spend all of recess on the soccer field. Your son will need someone to hang out with then. That's the toughest time spot to fill.

[Anonymous]

My DS does not play sports - he is into music and drama. This was super hard in elementary school, when it seemed all boys played sports. He did sort of lose his friends because he wasn't with them on sports teams so just didn't see them as much. When he got to middle school (6th grade where I live) he found his people in drama club and chorus. I find the DC area to be very sports centric, especially for boys, which I think is kind of funny since I also think of DC as academic and kind of nerdy. Nevertheless, there are many non-sports kids around and he just needs to find them. Most schools, even my DS's, which has tons of school sports, has a lot of non-sport clubs, activities and kids.