When you son is the only one who doesn't play sports

[Anonymous]

I think you are stressing over something you cannot control. Look, I get it... I have a very non-athletic, just-finished 5th grader. I think you are looking at too small of a friend group... I assure you, there ARE other kids who aren't in sports. Just be glad your kid is still in scouts!

You can't engineer the situation so that your child is suddenly into sports or able to keep those same friends. They may likely become closer to other boys who are on their teams. It's not personal, it's just that they will be spending a lot of time with their teammates. Relationships ebb and flow due to similar interests and time spent together. If the boys value your son -- they will still be his friend. If they connect with their sports-friends, then that's how it goes. You simply can't control this. Your son will figure out the social scene and adapt accordingly. And he doesn't HAVE to have a bunch of friends. Just one! One will do.

Sorry, OP... there's nothing for you to do.

[Anonymous]

I have a 13 year old who is like this. He is also young for his class, small and not the most athletic kid out there . He is really into scouts and anything outdoors. He also plays an instrument and does tech for the drama club. He is happy and doesn't seem to mind that he is one of the few kids who doesn't play sports. I have to admit that I have had to adjust my expectations-- once I recognized that he was happy- I let go of trying to find a sport for him. As a previous poster said, all kids need is one friend- and he's got that and more. Kids will find their groups.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can sympathize - my son is not inherently bad at sports, but at the 10th percentile for height and weight, he can't keep up with the boys in his class at soccer and basketball, which are the predominant sports kids in his class play. He has a few other friends who are non-sporty that he plays with at recess, and friends from tae kwon do that he hangs out with after class on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestion. In 5th grade the only two fall sports for boys at the school are cross country and football. (he's tiny and slow!) I like the idea of searching out other things that he can be involved in after school, but it seems like most of the kids are involved in sports during that time. I'll check with the school to see what other options exist.

Honestly, I'm okay with him being nonathletic. I just don't want his friendships to suffer if he's one of the only boys not playing sports.

I have trouble imagining that every boy in the school is running cross country or playing football. For one thing, I think it would be impossible to find a school in the DMV with no soccer players. My guess is that when things shake out he'll find plenty of friends who are either playing sports outside of school like your son is doing with TKD, or who put their energy into music or drama or chess or something.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, everyone. I guess this is more my anxiety that a real issue with my son. He has a great group of friends who all play sports, and I think I'm just sad thinking about the possibility that the friendships won't persist if he's not playing sports with them. I'll encourage him to pursue other interests, so that he can connect with some other potential friends.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live? Have you thought about Rock Climbing indoors? Earth Treks in MD and Arlington are great.

[Anonymous]

Does he like cycling? If he's in MD, look into Rock Creek Velo juniors cycling team. http://rockcreekvelo.org/ If in VA, look into the NCVC juniors. http://www.ncvcjuniors.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he swim ? Swim teams have all levels of swimmers

Swim isn't a fall sport.

Yes it is. My DD swims year round on a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he swim ? Swim teams have all levels of swimmers

Swim isn't a fall sport.

Yes it is. My DD swims year round on a team.

Interesting, where I am from it is a fall sport.

[Anonymous]

Non sports = drama. Loved it. Girls, girls, girls. And you hangnwith the band for musicals which means Band girls!

Oh my god high school was amazing. Drama and band girls are dtf and party like no other.

Your boy will be jut fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he swim ? Swim teams have all levels of swimmers

Swim isn't a fall sport.

Yes it is. My DD swims year round on a team.

Interesting, where I am from it is a fall sport.

Swim is HUGELY popular in the DC area and it is year round here. This is the meet schedule showing there are meets all during the fall: http://www.pvswim.org/2017-2018_Schedule.pdf

[Anonymous]

OP I think we have to accept what we can't control. I have two boys, the 13yo is defiantly anti-sports. (He will play only when he has an opportunity to try to beat his sports-obsessed younger brother.) I wish it were different but he knows who he is and what he enjoys, and what kind of parent would I be if I tried to force him to be someone he's not?

My son is the opposite of some of yours -- physically he looks like he should be an athlete. And he's not into drama or music. But he has hobbies and he has friends, and the nice thing about teenage boys is that all different types of kids can bond over electronics and video games!!

[Anonymous]

My nephew is 14 and doesn't do any sports, but is involved with Boy Scouts. All of his friends are heavily into various sports, but he has managed to stay friends with a core few. He is pretty immature for his age, but is happy and well adjusted. I wouldn't worry, OP, your son will find his way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestion. In 5th grade the only two fall sports for boys at the school are cross country and football. (he's tiny and slow!) I like the idea of searching out other things that he can be involved in after school, but it seems like most of the kids are involved in sports during that time. I'll check with the school to see what other options exist.

Honestly, I'm okay with him being nonathletic. I just don't want his friendships to suffer if he's one of the only boys not playing sports.

I have trouble imagining that every boy in the school is running cross country or playing football. For one thing, I think it would be impossible to find a school in the DMV with no soccer players. My guess is that when things shake out he'll find plenty of friends who are either playing sports outside of school like your son is doing with TKD, or who put their energy into music or drama or chess or something.

Most school teams have incredibly competitive soccer teams/few spots since the majority of youth in this area play soccer/travel. There are very, very good soccer players that can't get a school spot.

15 kids on a team v.s. 3,500 students at our HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the suggestion. In 5th grade the only two fall sports for boys at the school are cross country and football. (he's tiny and slow!) I like the idea of searching out other things that he can be involved in after school, but it seems like most of the kids are involved in sports during that time. I'll check with the school to see what other options exist.

Honestly, I'm okay with him being nonathletic. I just don't want his friendships to suffer if he's one of the only boys not playing sports.

I have trouble imagining that every boy in the school is running cross country or playing football. For one thing, I think it would be impossible to find a school in the DMV with no soccer players. My guess is that when things shake out he'll find plenty of friends who are either playing sports outside of school like your son is doing with TKD, or who put their energy into music or drama or chess or something.

Most school teams have incredibly competitive soccer teams/few spots since the majority of youth in this area play soccer/travel. There are very, very good soccer players that can't get a school spot.

15 kids on a team v.s. 3,500 students at our HS.

That's what I'm saying. That most schools, at least at 5th grade, will have kids who choose to keep playing rec or travel or club soccer rather than switching to another school sport.