Spouse fired for behavior recently caught shoplifting
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Anonymous
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Spouse fired from a high level position for lying, forgery and taking colleagues files. Unemployed. Says he is looking for work. Fast forward 5 months,
I just learned he has an upcoming trial for theft that he never mentioned. He lies a lot of things and I can't live this way. We have two elementary aged children and I'm terrified to leave but cannot stay. Any thoughts about what might be going on with him or how I can help myself do what I need to do? I've taken divorce class already. Money is an issue. I' work but don't earn high enough income to stay in current home. Want to keep children in same school. Thanks. No snark please. |
Anonymous
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So sorry OP.
I don't think you have much choice but to leave. These are some major issues presenting here. Leaving can be scary as hell no matter the circumstances but one step at a time it is manageable. |
Anonymous
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Oh my, that's a lot at once. If this is amoral behavior is something new then I would suggest an immediate psychiatric intervention; most health insurance companies have phone numbers that you can call to get some guidance on how to find a psychiatrist, I would start there.
The court thing: if he is a first-time offender then he will likely get off with a small fine or maybe community service but if this isn't his first time then I would get a lawyer stat. If you no longer have health insurance then perhaps a lawyer could get him into some kind of help or counseling as part of his penalty. The fact that you're on here asking for advice about things that are so huge makes me think that you don't have a support system and for that I feel bad for you. Good luck to you. |
Anonymous
| I'm a prosecutor and shoplifting almost always indicates one of two things: the person is mentally ill, or they have a drug problem. Check into that. |
Anonymous
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The sooner you leave, the better. Don't go down on his sinking ship. It will only get worse & humiliating.
Hugs. You can do it! |
Anonymous
Check that or brain tumor |
Anonymous
| He is doing drags and stealing to pay for his habit. |
Anonymous
| I suspect a mental health issue. My ex had similar incidents over a 10 year span (5 years before we divorced and 5 after) before he had his first documented psychotic episode. In his case, all of the incidents were sex-related (watching porn at work, sending a questionable "joke" to a male coworker who reported it, shoplifting lube). Proceed with the assumption you'll divorce, but document everything now. You'll need in for the custody battle. |
Anonymous
| You can't stay with this guy. Things are going to get worse. Get out while you are still ahead. Do it for the sake of your children. There must be less expensive places to live in the bounds of your school district. |
Anonymous
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Is this new behavior?! I'd be very concerned about drugs (Stealing is common for drug addicts in order to support their habit). Or an illness whether mental health related or something like a brain tumor. People don't suddenly just start exhibiting these behaviors.
Do you have access to your accounts? Can you run a credit report on him.and you to make sure he hasn't taken out credit.cards too? I'd be super pissed about all of this, but I think it's critical to get down to the reason WHY all of this is suddenly going on. And then go from there. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like bipolar mania might be possible. Psychiatric eval stat and be sure you give doctor input on behavior. |
Anonymous
| As scary as leaving sounds, it seems to me that staying may be even scarier. Who knows what he'll do next. |
Anonymous
Thank you. It's shocking to me. I think spouse been this way and I'm just finding out cause he's caught. I am a moral person who believes integrity is most important. I'm perplexed and repulsed. |
Anonymous
| Theft was less than $100. First time that I'm aware he's been caught although I'm tempted to check DC and Virginia. |
Anonymous
+1 |