Spouse fired for behavior recently caught shoplifting

[Anonymous]

I am not a lawyer but i would get a legal separation very quickly to protect yourself from liabilities that arise from his erratic behavior (credit card debt, house financing.). You need to find out everything about your current shared debts and assets. Don't assume he hasn't taken big financial risks. He could also be sued and any joint assets could be up for grabs. I would get the separation agreement in place first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why haven't you called him out his behavior, OP? I would have a hard time not going completely ballistic about the lying and stealing.

I'm not going ballistic bc I don't think it helps anything. I do feel anxious and sad. Haven't slept well. I'll pull it out when necessary and useful. It allows me to observe other things bc he's unsuspecting. If I mention he goes further underground and I get to know less. He will never admit his fault or problem unless it gets him off the hook. I'm making a plan. Saving. Seeking counsel. Also his denial and lies to cover lies makes me wanna take a metal rod and stab him in both eyes. He will minimize everything. Act like I'm crazy for being angry. Gaslights. Crazy making. Smacks of my childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Oh my, that's a lot at once. If this is amoral behavior is something new then I would suggest an immediate psychiatric intervention; most health insurance companies have phone numbers that you can call to get some guidance on how to find a psychiatrist, I would start there.

The court thing: if he is a first-time offender then he will likely get off with a small fine or maybe community service but if this isn't his first time then I would get a lawyer stat.
If you no longer have health insurance then perhaps a lawyer could get him into some kind of help or counseling as part of his penalty.

The fact that you're on here asking for advice about things that are so huge makes me think that you don't have a support system and for that I feel bad for you.
Good luck to you.

I'm very sorry OP. You need to take your kids and leave. This, having lived through something very similar, is only the beginning. You need to get your kids to a safe place and start building your new life. It will get better, that I promise you. Do you have family near that can assist?

What was your experience pp? Helpful to know I'm not alone.

Absolutely no family or support that isn't paid for. Looking back he denied invites and opportunities to socialize. My son worships the ground he walks on. Dad is the stay at home dad who lounges poolside with kids while I work two jobs. I don't make much despite advanced education. Working to become financially independent. It sucks. It's infuriating. I am resilient.

Biggest concern is needing to move kids from current school. Don't want to leave.