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Dated her in college. We never had sex, because she was a virgin at the time. But we fooled around a lot, though she didn't want to go all the way. She eventually ended up breaking up with me because I slept with someone else.
It's been several years now and I still think about her all the time. I have a great girlfriend who is beautiful, supportive, smart, but I still think of this girl all the time. It's moving towards the point where I should propose, been 4 years of dating now. And I just wonder if I should contact college girl or not, before I'm officially off the market. Or if this is a normal thing for guys, thinking about someone from your past. |
Get over her. She is only appealing because she is now forbidden fruit. There are a million more like her. Further, to her you are damaged goods and she won't be coming back no matter how much you tell her you have changed. |
| Do your current girlfriend a favor and break up with her. 4 years? C'mon man... |
this. You want her because you never got to have her, move on |
She contacted me about a year and a half after we broke up. I had just met my current GF, and I told her I would call her, but I never did, because I thought about it and realized I wanted to give things a shot. Also I was still a bit angry about the breakup. So, I know at that time she was open to a conversation, at least. I don't know about now. |
| Only person you should be seeing right now is a therapist. |
| If you're thinking about another woman, engagement is the last thing you need to do. |
You were angry and you were the one who cheated on her? Why would you want a virgin? What is wrong with you? |
+1000 Though I don't care about the 4 years, but if you are marrying her by default and still thinking this much about other women, you are doomed. Please set your lovely girlfriend free. |
| Guy here - you're a chump OP. Grow a pair and grow up. |
I didn't want her because she was a virgin. I fell in love with her, not knowing she was a virgin. When we finally got together, she didn't want to go past hooking up and finally told me. And technically we were on a break when I cheated, but it was definitely an iffy situation. It was my first major real "heart broken" situation and I begged her to reconsider (literally, that took a lot of my pride and flushed it down the toilet) and she refused and started dating someone else. Even though I understand what I did wrong it was just a very negative time for me |
Since marriage is an option for you, you are well past the point of asking your current GF to marry you. You are well past the point of still pining over college gf you cheated on. Me thinks it is driving you nuts you didn't dip into the well. I am thinking that beautiful, supportive and smart GF might be better off without you. And, for the record, I am a man. |
| Can you identify actual things about her that you are missing and wanting, or are you just pining for the idea of her / your carefree youth? |
Yeah. She was objectively quite beautiful. She was highly intelligent, and didn't really suffer fools. She was also just very elusive- not just with sex, but that was her general way of dealing with people. It took a long time for me to even earn her trust to get her to hang with me, and then turn it into a romantic relationship. She was also kind and nice, and I think she would have made a good mom. |
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Please don't propose to your current girlfriend just because it's been 4 years! That is not the reason to propose.
If you do contact college GF, you need to break up with current GF -- BEFORE contacting college GF. Simply because if you contact her, that shows where your heart is-- it's not with current GF. |