Grandparents - how long is enough?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I just took care of two toddlers for ten days. While we had a "third hand" for three hours in the morning, it was exhausting. While the children are loving and adorable, it was non-stop except when they were asleep. Even then we slept with one ear/eye open. We both agreed that it is not something we'd do again...we have two other kids with children....but we know we will be asked. What is the max other GP's are willing to do? What should their children expect? My DH said "I'm OK with two nights but never again!!".

[Anonymous]

Yup. Set boundaries. 10 days was nuts even with help for two small children. You may change boundaries as kids ages, but certainly you know what goes far beyond the limit. Just set it. And defend it - no judgment.

[Anonymous]

I only ask for 2-3 days. So we can go to out of town weddings, etc.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you decide is long enough is "long enough." For some it's 3 weeks and for some it's 3 hours.

That's the beauty of being a grown-up. You get to set your own boundaries, even with your own children and grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Wow who leaves their kids for 10 days? My kids' grandparents have never watched our kids. It would be nice if they were able, but yeah 10 days with two toddlers is awful. I'm sorry. Next time do a 2 night max.

[Anonymous]

Totally depends on the grandparents, the parents, and the kids. My parents can take our kids (7, 5, and 1) for as long as we'd be willing to leave them. There are a couple of things that work in our favor: my parents are great at different things, so they can divide and conquer (which is how my husband and I do things, too). My dad gets up early with the kids because he's up at 6 every day. My does a lot of the parenting stuff - gets them dressed, fed, bathed, teeth brushed, and gets them to sleep, but she's not tired because she sleeps in.

We get babysitters if we are gone for more than 3 nights. during the week the kids are in school and we have a nanny. My kids are also good and pretty easy. The baby goes to bed at 6:30 and naps twice a day. My older ones will really go to sleep whenever you put them to bed.

As your grandkids get older, you may want to take them for longer, but for now your limit is obviously less than 10 days.

[Anonymous]

My in laws have a one night limit. My kids are older and super easy but that's what and all they will do.

[Anonymous]

Op - your other half has spoken. That's all that matters. A "no" always wins. Our parents never took the kids for an overnight - no wait, they took them once for one night. They happened to be in town when it was our wedding anniversary. Neither were local. We didn't love them any less, of think any less of them as grandparents. Both sets were excellent grandparents.

[Anonymous]

There is NO WAY my parents would ever have agreed to that. Unless I was severely ill in hospital.

[Anonymous]

We never had a whole night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow who leaves their kids for 10 days? My kids' grandparents have never watched our kids. It would be nice if they were able, but yeah 10 days with two toddlers is awful. I'm sorry. Next time do a 2 night max.

Sometimes my parents had to travel for work trips in the 80's. My grandparents stayed with us for two weeks straight a few times.

[Anonymous]

We went away for 8 days leaving our 3 5 and 6 year olds- one set of grandparents watched them for the first 4 days, then the other set the other 4 days.

It depends a lot on age, too. I'm the oldest kid- my parents are mid 60's and fit and healthy. My husband is the youngest- his parents are mid 70's. My parents can do it still, but his parents are too old to be dealing with practices and whatnot.

Decide what works for you and stick to it. Boundaries are healthy and there is nothing worse than starting to resent your own grandchildren because your kids take advantage of your help.

[Anonymous]

Wow. My parents love my toddler dd and they've watched her for a whole Saturday (i came back to do bedtime) but I'd never leave her with them for more than 2-3 days. In part that I'd miss her and in part that she's exhausting even though she's is an excellent sleeper and naps for 2 hrs a day. She runs my mom and dad (early 60s) ragged and they rest the next day.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the GPs. My inlaws would take ours for ten days if we asked (we never would -- that's nuts), and would be tired but would never complain once. They have more energy than I do, lol. My parents once insisted they were happy to take my then two year old for a week. I thought they were insane and said so at the time, a la "I don't think you remember how tiring this is." They never offered again, haaaa. A two day limit is perfectly reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Be honest about your limits. Once you set the boundaries, don't brag on facebook about how much you are doing. It's extremely annoying when gps do a little bit, then undermine the parents. If you're doing a ton, that's different, but you shouldn't have to do a ton.