Would you allow your 5 year old to stay with Grandma out of town?

[Anonymous]

Looking for everyone's gut check here as my DH and MIL think I am being difficult and helicopter-y. MIL wants my DD to stay overnight for 2-3 days at her home about 3 hours away from us this summer. MIL is very safety conscious and responsive to DD's needs but, I don't know, I'm just uncomfortable with DD being away from me overnight! I'm sure would have a blast during the day, but what if she gets scared and decides she wants to come home in the middle of the night?

Am I holding on too hard? Thanks, everyone.

[Anonymous]

Nope. But it depends on Grandma. Unfortunately, ours are not people I would trust with a 5 y/o.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

My 4-year old has been staying with my mom while I travel since he was six months old.

If MIL lived closer, I would alternate between them.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe this is even a question. Of course. Children have been doing this for a very long time.
My kids stayed with grandparents when they were a lot younger than 5 and for more than a few days.

Think of it this way.......Your MIL gave birth to and raised your DH. I think she can handle your child.

[Anonymous]

Heck yes!

[Anonymous]

It depends On your daughter, obviously but yes I would tend to think you are making it a bit difficult. Do you think it could be because it is MIL and not you own mother?

I have been leaving my kids with my parents for a few nights in a row since they were 6 months old. Maybe twice a year as I had to travel for work or went on WE trips with my DH. They are 2 and 4 now. I cannot imagine having an issue leaving a 5 year old. Maybe she will ask for you in the evening but that is ok, she will overcome it and have a blast with grandma.

I really think it gives a chance to grandparents to bond in a way they can't when parents (especially moms) are around. Grandmas are not like grandpas, they don't play as much, they need time taking care of children the way moms do (with cuddle time, bedtime stories etc..), not only running after them in the park.

We have the same dynamic in my family, one of my 2 SIL won't leave her kids overnight. Makes my mom sad and she doesn't relate to them as much as her other grandkids.

Not saying all that to guiltrip you you have to trust your gut in the end. But remember, on this one it is more about you and how willing you are to be without your DD so that grandma can be with her than "5 year old is too young for a sleepover"

[Anonymous]

My 2.5 year old has stayed overnight with both my parents and inlaws while we do other things (go to out of town wedding, stay in hospital with newborn sibling, etc). The first time we left him he was about 9 months old. I think you being too helicopter if your MIL is responsible and would provide a safe place for your child.

[Anonymous]

I would allow it but probably not 3-4 days to start with. I would do an overnight or weekend and see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are holding on too hard. She'll be fine. You're investing in her independence and in your marriage.

Don't be that mom that smothers her child or can't separate. It's not healthy. If she gets scared, she'll have her grandmother there, and your daughter will learn that others can comfort her and that she can work her way through a tough moment. Again, this is an investment in her independence. Why wouldn't you want that for her?

--mom of an 11 and 16 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2.5 year old has stayed overnight with both my parents and inlaws while we do other things (go to out of town wedding, stay in hospital with newborn sibling, etc). The first time we left him he was about 9 months old. I think you being too helicopter if your MIL is responsible and would provide a safe place for your child.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would allow it but probably not 3-4 days to start with. I would do an overnight or weekend and see how it goes.

That's exactly what she is proposing: 2-3 days which is a weekend. Where are you reading 3-4 days?

[Anonymous]

Unless you had a safety or competency concern, of course. Even if your daughter were to get a little scared, they'd cope and figure it out.

Take a long weekend with your husband. I can't believe you haven't taken even one night away yet.

[Anonymous]

No, my kids belong with me. I don't ship them off.

[Anonymous]

You're holding on to hard. You make it clear in your OP that it isn't an issue with grandma (which is legit) but with you. Let her go. It will be great for everyone involved. A strong relationship with a grandparent is a real blessing.