DD thinks she has OCD, lays in bed all day?

[Anonymous]

DD is 19, flunked college, has no job, moved in with an older friend. She went to a psychiatrist a few months ago claiming she had OCD. Psych did not think she has OCD and referred us to Jewish Social Service Agency. She thinks walking back and forth is OCD. I tell her everyone does that. She thinks counting steps is OCD. I told her I count steps sometimes. Plus she's a mess, people with OCD are clean. She insisted she needed meds even though the psych didn't think she needed meds. I once had severe depression where I didn't sleep all night, felt extremely guilty, etc. and I never took a med. It's not easy to deal with this but can be done without meds with the right effort. She moved in with an older friend. I called JSSA and they told me I couldn't do anything unless I was her guardian. I was thinking about going to court but everyone tells me I will just strain my relationship with her and will not get guardianship since she's not intellectually disabled. She moved in with an older friend. I spoke to this friend apologizing because I think it's unfair he has to support her, and he told me he is fine with supporting her. I tell her to encourage her to become independent, pursue an education etc. and he told me to leave him alone. OK, if he has no problem supporting her, that's fine. My concern is what if anything happens to him. She has no job, no education, so it will be hard for her to get a good job. I can't let her be homeless. I have not spoken to DD in 3 months. I do not know what to do now.

[Anonymous]

There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

Have it your way, OP. I can see you are an expert on everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

Have it your way, OP. I can see you are an expert on everything.

Well, the doc she saw also doesn't think she has OCD.

[Anonymous]

Even if she doesn't have OCD, she could easily be depressed, anxious, or have another mood disorder. Meds for those things are very safe and well studied; while they may have side effects, not medicating also has consequences, as you are now seeing.

But with your attitude, there is no way she is going to confide in you or follow your suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

Haha. I finished my psych degree in 2016 and I assure you, you are very wrong about OCD. A lot has changed in 24 years and OCD doesn't mean what you apparently think it does anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

Haha. I finished my psych degree in 2016 and I assure you, you are very wrong about OCD. A lot has changed in 24 years and OCD doesn't mean what you apparently think it does anymore.

OP here. Walking back and forth is not OCD. Counting steps is not OCD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

Haha. I finished my psych degree in 2016 and I assure you, you are very wrong about OCD. A lot has changed in 24 years and OCD doesn't mean what you apparently think it does anymore.

OP here. Walking back and forth is not OCD. Counting steps is not OCD.

Actually, those are symptoms of OCD.

[Anonymous]

Op I have OCD and don't have the need to wash my hands or clean things. Counting things is a form of OCD. YOu may have a mild case yourself and be unaware of it because it doesnt affect your life. My whole life ( i guess as an adult) I thought I was just anal retentive. Then the things i needed to do, and felt compulsed to do started affecting my life, affecting how I function.
I went to a therapist and she said I had anxiety which caused the OCD. Tried therapy which didnt really work, then went on meds and it has been life changing.

Dont dispute the way she feels and you need to educate yourself more.

[Anonymous]

Quite frankly it sounds like your DD has lazyitis, first and foremost, if she ahs anything else I would be seriously surprised.

[Anonymous]

stop arguing with her and start being there for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

Did he show you an episode of 'Hoarders'? Those people have OCD and most of them aren't washing their hands, organized or afraid of germs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quite frankly it sounds like your DD has lazyitis, first and foremost, if she ahs anything else I would be seriously surprised.

Agree, and no doubt the lazyitis was enabled by OP for the last 19 years and now OP is shocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

OP, you have an attitude problem here. I too went to COLLEGE (for psychology) and to LAW SCHOOL and am highly educated and readily admit I know very little in the grand scheme of things and am always learning. Please read up on OCD. My mother has it and is an obscene hoarder. Almost all hoarders have OCD. I'm not saying your daughter has it - obviously I don't know her and can't tell, but she is crying out for help. She sounds like my SN kid who is depressed. She's depressed and sleeps all the time. We got her special services at college. With supports she will graduate but it hasn't been easy and we've had to be involved. Your daughter needs your love and compassion, not a lecture about how you saw a film in college. Maybe a breather would be good for her. Community college is a good start when she's ready. If you haven't had a full NT workup done, you should do so. Later, if your daughter returns to college, you will want to be more involved in her program so will want her to waive her FERPA rights so you can work with the college's Office of Disability Services.