DD thinks she has OCD, lays in bed all day?

[Anonymous]

13:22 back. Seriously, if you never have had a NT workup done on your daughter that should be step no. 1. She may just be dyslexic and not even know it. A good NT workup should take at least 3 days and cost $3K.

[Anonymous]

It sounds more like anxiety and depression than OCD.

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. I don't have advice, but I wish you and your DD well.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone's depression looks the same. That is not OCD. you will never get guardianship of her.. good luck with that (saying it as someone who has guardianship of her MIL).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 19, flunked college, has no job, moved in with an older friend. She went to a psychiatrist a few months ago claiming she had OCD. Psych did not think she has OCD and referred us to Jewish Social Service Agency. She thinks walking back and forth is OCD. I tell her everyone does that. She thinks counting steps is OCD. I told her I count steps sometimes. Plus she's a mess, people with OCD are clean. She insisted she needed meds even though the psych didn't think she needed meds. I once had severe depression where I didn't sleep all night, felt extremely guilty, etc. and I never took a med. It's not easy to deal with this but can be done without meds with the right effort. She moved in with an older friend. I called JSSA and they told me I couldn't do anything unless I was her guardian. I was thinking about going to court but everyone tells me I will just strain my relationship with her and will not get guardianship since she's not intellectually disabled. She moved in with an older friend. I spoke to this friend apologizing because I think it's unfair he has to support her, and he told me he is fine with supporting her. I tell her to encourage her to become independent, pursue an education etc. and he told me to leave him alone. OK, if he has no problem supporting her, that's fine. My concern is what if anything happens to him. She has no job, no education, so it will be hard for her to get a good job. I can't let her be homeless. I have not spoken to DD in 3 months. I do not know what to do now.

Who is this "older friend?" Is this your friend or her friend? Is it a "friend" (i.e., are they sleeping together)?

This is a strange situation if your DD is truly doing nothing but staying home all day. My concerns are different than yours though; you haven't spoken to her in three months, and he has told you not to call him either. Are you sure this is a safe situation for her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

I can't tell if OP's phone autocorrected to all caps or she's being condescending, but either way, it's making me giggle. You guys, she saw a video. In 1992.

[Anonymous]

Of course the older male friend is ok with it, he has a 19 year old in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

I can't tell if OP's phone autocorrected to all caps or she's being condescending, but either way, it's making me giggle. You guys, she saw a video. In 1992.

OP here. Videocassette.

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying this girl does have OCD, but OP is grossly misinformed about what it is. My husband has OCD. He obsessed about certain things, to the point that he become paralyzed by his thoughts and fears. None of this has anything to do with cleanliness (he's a slob) or hand-washing or anything of that sort.

When I was finishing college in the mid-90s I realized I was suffering from depression and asked for help. My parents didn't take me seriously, nor did the primary care doctor I went to see. I sought out help on my own and have learned to manage it - sometimes with meds, sometimes without. My parents eventually came to understand that I truly did have an illness, but it took some time.

I think there's a fear of stigma in the Jewish community that leads parents to pooh-pooh their children's pleas for help in these situations. I know that's what happened in my family. OP, don't make the same mistake my parents did.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for your Daughter. Lousy parents

[Anonymous]

OP, I realize you are frustrated, but do you love your daughter? It's not coming across in your post.

[Anonymous]

Offer to pay for a second opinion (psychiatrist). It is such a small price to pay, considering everything that you wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to your post.

First of all, you are confusing OCD and Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. They are very different. OCPD is where a person is obsessively cleaning all the time. OCD is quite different.

Second, what is wrong with medication? So what if you were able to tough it out? That doesn't make it wrong for your daughter.

Third, you sound terribly controlling and like you want to nitpick and play the devil's advocate rather than just listening to her and recognizing there is a huge problem here. Stop trying to prove her wrong. Listen. Be on her side.

OP here. Meds have very nasty side effects. It's not just taking the easy way out. The psych felt she didn't have OCD and instead told her she needs to become independent from us. He suggested a supported apartment. I was OK with the idea. I went to COLLEGE in 1992 and learned about OCD. The professor showed us a video of people washing their hands, being organized, afraid of germs.

I can't tell if OP's phone autocorrected to all caps or she's being condescending, but either way, it's making me giggle. You guys, she saw a video. In 1992.

OP here. Videocassette.

Ah. Troll. Since this is the detail she opted to respond to.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My depression was not mild. It was severe. But I dealt with it like a woman. The psychiatrist didn't think DD needed meds. He said the same thing she needs to be independent. He asked to speak to me and I told him DD sleeps all day and I want her out of the house. DD was mad at me. I told her this is important information the doctor needs to know. I am not controlling. Controlling would be not letting her out of the house. She always had a reasonable amount of freedom. DH blocked the door when she wanted to move in with her friend but the police said that is kidnapping. My 17 y/o DD unplugged the phone to prevent her from calling the police. Neighbor called after she heard screaming. I had not had contact with her in 3 months. She has no education, no well paying job. What is she going to do in case anything happens to him. Be homeless? My blood pressure is raising because of this. My health is being effected and she doesn't care. She just eats junk food. I told her if I ate all that junk food I would also have OCD. She got mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My depression was not mild. It was severe. But I dealt with it like a woman. The psychiatrist didn't think DD needed meds. He said the same thing she needs to be independent. He asked to speak to me and I told him DD sleeps all day and I want her out of the house. DD was mad at me. I told her this is important information the doctor needs to know. I am not controlling. Controlling would be not letting her out of the house. She always had a reasonable amount of freedom. DH blocked the door when she wanted to move in with her friend but the police said that is kidnapping. My 17 y/o DD unplugged the phone to prevent her from calling the police. Neighbor called after she heard screaming. I had not had contact with her in 3 months. She has no education, no well paying job. What is she going to do in case anything happens to him. Be homeless? My blood pressure is raising because of this. My health is being effected and she doesn't care. She just eats junk food. I told her if I ate all that junk food I would also have OCD. She got mad.

Oh no, you're not controlling! I love it!

[Anonymous]

She sounds depressed.