To go or not to go to my former MIL's funeral?

[Anonymous]

Been divorced almost 7 months. No animosity towards each other, we just grew apart and things got broken, we've no kids together ( infertility ), but MIL was a great woman and I always got along with her. My ex is an only child and his father passed away years ago, so it's a small family. I'm fairly certain he is seeing someone. Should I go or just send a card? I do want to pay my respects, but not cause any drama.

[Anonymous]

Have you called your ex to let him know how sorry you are?

From what you've described, I would lean towards going and paying my respects.

[Anonymous]

Can you ask your ex? What would he prefer?

[Anonymous]

Go. Unless you had ugly divorce, it's good to go.

[Anonymous]

Go unless you think it would cause a scene with your ex H.

[Anonymous]

Ask your ex what he wants, after you express your condolences.

[Anonymous]

Go. I went to my ex MIL's funeral. She was a lovely person and I wanted to pay my respects and also be one of the numbers there showing people cared about her, because that is comforting to the main people grieving. Obviously, you stay in the background.

[Anonymous]

I would go in your situation. Sounds like she was a friend and you would be doing it for yourself, which is great. Don't worry about the ex and such, if they are weird about it, just keep a bit of distance and don't stay too long. I bet your everybody will be glad you came.

[Anonymous]

I found out about this from a mutual friend.

I called my ex to offer my condolences, we talked for a bit, he thanked me for calling.

I did not ask him directly if fI should attend, at the time we spoke there was no date given, I found out about the wake and funeral from a mutual friend as well.

Ex and I don't have any animosity towards each other. I probably would have gone without thought a month or two ago, but I know he has a girlfriend now and I don't know if that would be awkward to have me there.
I've never been divorced before so I don't how this all works.

[Anonymous]

If he has a girlfriend that he is bringing, I would not go.

[Anonymous]

I think about this too, and I'm three years divorced. I don't get along with my ex, once he started dating someone new he became a huge d*ck. However, his mom was always great to me, she's the person I communicated with when I was applying for an annulment, and I know that she still talks to my mom on the phone and they remain friends. I've seen her around town and she's always very kind to me. So I've thought of this scenario and I would go, but I'd probably be too chicken to go alone. I'd go with my mom since they're friends and I know she'd also want to go. I know it seems weird that I've actually thought of this, but a friend was recently in a similar situation and it made me think about it.

[Anonymous]

I think I would go, but I'm not divorced, so perhaps not considering the nuances here. Are you able to ask him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he has a girlfriend that he is bringing, I would not go.

This

[Anonymous]

Call or text and say you would like to be there, but if he would prefer that you didn't, you completely understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would go, but I'm not divorced, so perhaps not considering the nuances here. Are you able to ask him?

I haven't spoken with him since calling to offer my condolences,and honestly I don't want to put this on him.