Divorced, but attending family events together for the kids
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Does anyone do? If so, how has this worked out for you? |
Anonymous
|
The only time my ex and I attend an event together is when it's child centered. We've done a few joint birthday parties, "graduations" (DC is in early elementary - so PK and K had small ceremonies). I expect we'll continue with that.
We live in different major east coast cities, so occasionally ex's family members will be in my city for work, and I accommodate requests to see DC, and had dinner with Grandpa (ex's dad) once when he was in town. I don't mind doing it, and can be friendly with ex's family if I need to be. |
Anonymous
| We do school events and birthdays and the occasional dinner together, no significant others invited. Neither of us gets invited to the others' extended family functions. This is three years after we split-I imagine all this may change as our daughter gets older and has more opinions. At this point we can spend that time together without any tension. |
Anonymous
| It better be a very big event, pretty important to do this, otherwise you are making the focus - you. All eyes are on you -- how are they getting along? You are bringing drama to this event |
Anonymous
Only if they are both drama queens. I've had to tell other parents at my kid's school that we are divorced because we interact much like any bored married couple. |
Anonymous
| We still hang out on weekends together, as well as events. It's nice to keep the friendship even if the marriage had to end. |
Anonymous
| No that's weird |
Anonymous
| No. We both go to the kids events. We would never both go to a family wedding. |
Anonymous
|
We still hang out. It's no difference than before we just don't sleep with each other that night.
|
Anonymous
| We both go to all major events and plan a family outing together despite living hours away. Our split was amicable and it is about the kids and not us. It did take 3 years to get this comfortable. |
Anonymous
|
I did this for a long time because my ex was incapable of handling our young kids on his own. Kids enjoyed it. We were both able to be very polite. My family welcomed him and to this day never said a nasty word about him. His family welcomed me on the surface, but talked nasty about me behind my back.
It was very hard on me. It took a lot of time away, which I realize in retrospect could have been better used to build my relationship with my kids, and to force him to be responsible for his own relationship with our kids, whatever that might have turned out to be, for better or worse. |
Anonymous
| We're not divorced - we were dating and split up during the pregnancy. There was a tiny bit of bad blood at the beginning, but it's been water under the bridge for awhile now. So we do events as a family whenever it makes sense to do that - school events, sporting events, mutual friend's BBQs, etc. It isn't hard on me (or him) but I imagine if he ever ends up marrying someone, I might feel weird being "the single one." We do get along, though, and our daughter likes us all being together. |
Anonymous
And since you weren't having sex before the divorce either, no change there. |
Anonymous
| If there are partners or spouses involved this would be a big no no. In our situation we were married and would never attend anything except with spouse. We went to a graduation and some other events, but nothing warranted attending or sitting with the ex. They sat with their family, us with ours. All worked out great. Separate but friendly works just fine. |
Anonymous
I agree, but many are able to move on and forge new lives. Still hanging with the ex is a sure way to stay single. No one wants that mess, at least not for long term. |