Anonymous wrote:This bathroom issue is ridiculous! At my DCs public elementary all the kids use the same bathroom (boys, girls, trans, whatever). That's what stall doors are for. The main door (into the larger bathroom area/sink area) is open, so teachers, etc. can monitor, if needed, to make sure kids wash their hands.
Guessing they don’t have issues like menstruating all over the toilet seat and boys getting unexpected hard ons. Sorry not to be crass but Jesus who cares about your toddlers.
I think you need help, you sound unduly obsessed with sexualizing minors.
News flash: minors can and do commit sexual assault.
PP here and my concerns about gender based bathrooms are less about fear of sexual assault. I’m more concerned about a lack of privacy for sexes based on biological differences between them; specifically, allowing teens a private space to deal with biologically male/female issues. I’m not dismissing sexual assault concerns. Also, ideally, private individual bathrooms are the holy grail but retrofitting all schools and in light of safety concerns that’s not realistic.
This
Again please explain your privacy concerns when kids can go into a stall in a bathroom and close the door.
I'm not the pp you quoted, but bathroom stall doors do not offer much privacy. There are usually huge gaps.
This is a weird take, are you peering through those gaps, PP? I have literally never had an issue with privacy in a stall.
Not a weird take at all. The gaps PP is referring to do create a problem… Elementary kids are always peeping through them and older kids harass kids through them. And g*d forbid when phones are added to the mix. So not a weird take. It’s clearly a statement of someone who’s been around kids in school bathrooms. I don’t think you understand the reality.
This. This is the second time someone here is unfairly ridiculed for mentioning the large gaps in the doors, but they are a reality, and the ridicule doesn’t fool anyone who has kids in MS and HS.
Well I have kids in high school. They used to be in middle school. I have used the bathrooms many times in both their high and middle schools. They all have normal stalls. Never seen large gaps. What school has these supposedly large gaps?
I mean, the bathroom pictured here is pretty typical. Where do your kids go to school that their stalls don’t have gaps?
Correct, there are small gaps. I have never seen stalls with the large gaps the PP claimed were there in their kids' school. Which school has these LARGE gaps? Name the school.
Let's flip the script.
Which school does not have large gaps? You are telling me that a school you know (because you work there or your kid goes to school there?) has floor to ceiling solid stall doors in the kid's bathroom?
Name the school.
DP.
Woosh…there go those goal posts. Now the standard is floor-to-ceiling solid doors?
“Large gaps” haven’t been an issue at any of my kids’ schools: Taylor ES, DHMS, W-L, AT.
Pretty obvious from the PP's response that there are no actual APS schools with these so called LARGE GAPS in the stalls. PP is either a liar or a troll without kids in APS.
I don’t care about the gaps. I’m against gender bathrooms and want sex based bathrooms. I live in Arlington and have kids in APS and have voted democratic every election. We exist!
You aren’t going to convince me on some dumb anonymous board of the merits of your beliefs about gender vs sex based bathrooms nor I you. I dream, however, that these post will wake up at least some progressives in Arlington to two facts. This issue isn’t so one sided that you have universal support on it; you don’t. And, calling the other side “bigots” and accusing them of being bad human beings who are discriminatory and Trump supporters and MAGA etc reflects more on you than on those of us who believe in sex based bathrooms. We are just parents doing the best for our families who disagree with you about this. I don’t care if a trans kid is in my child’s grade; I don’t think they have cooties. I would let my child be friends with said kid, I would be polite to them and to their parents. I believe in treating humans with respect. I also can believe in sexual based privacy.
I think that’s why it’s important to post on these threads. There are many of us who feel the same way.
I hope so. You cannot even slightly question the stance on trans - even though there is no scientific basis for the current practices, and it goes way beyond what the pioneers in this field had envisioned. Imo it has gotten out of control.
Republicans are having a field day with loads of Democrat leaning voters opposing what the progressive party has forced the Democrat party into — gender based bathrooms / sports in schools. I can’t believe Democrats are being so stupid particularly after the whole school closure debacle. Look what losing huge swaths of the parent population got us.
Rs are trying to make this into a culture war because all of their positions are super unpopular. Don't be fooled.
Anonymous wrote:This bathroom issue is ridiculous! At my DCs public elementary all the kids use the same bathroom (boys, girls, trans, whatever). That's what stall doors are for. The main door (into the larger bathroom area/sink area) is open, so teachers, etc. can monitor, if needed, to make sure kids wash their hands.
Guessing they don’t have issues like menstruating all over the toilet seat and boys getting unexpected hard ons. Sorry not to be crass but Jesus who cares about your toddlers.
I think you need help, you sound unduly obsessed with sexualizing minors.
News flash: minors can and do commit sexual assault.
PP here and my concerns about gender based bathrooms are less about fear of sexual assault. I’m more concerned about a lack of privacy for sexes based on biological differences between them; specifically, allowing teens a private space to deal with biologically male/female issues. I’m not dismissing sexual assault concerns. Also, ideally, private individual bathrooms are the holy grail but retrofitting all schools and in light of safety concerns that’s not realistic.
This
Again please explain your privacy concerns when kids can go into a stall in a bathroom and close the door.
I'm not the pp you quoted, but bathroom stall doors do not offer much privacy. There are usually huge gaps.
This is a weird take, are you peering through those gaps, PP? I have literally never had an issue with privacy in a stall.
Not a weird take at all. The gaps PP is referring to do create a problem… Elementary kids are always peeping through them and older kids harass kids through them. And g*d forbid when phones are added to the mix. So not a weird take. It’s clearly a statement of someone who’s been around kids in school bathrooms. I don’t think you understand the reality.
This. This is the second time someone here is unfairly ridiculed for mentioning the large gaps in the doors, but they are a reality, and the ridicule doesn’t fool anyone who has kids in MS and HS.
Well I have kids in high school. They used to be in middle school. I have used the bathrooms many times in both their high and middle schools. They all have normal stalls. Never seen large gaps. What school has these supposedly large gaps?
I mean, the bathroom pictured here is pretty typical. Where do your kids go to school that their stalls don’t have gaps?
Correct, there are small gaps. I have never seen stalls with the large gaps the PP claimed were there in their kids' school. Which school has these LARGE gaps? Name the school.
Let's flip the script.
Which school does not have large gaps? You are telling me that a school you know (because you work there or your kid goes to school there?) has floor to ceiling solid stall doors in the kid's bathroom?
Name the school.
DP.
Woosh…there go those goal posts. Now the standard is floor-to-ceiling solid doors?
“Large gaps” haven’t been an issue at any of my kids’ schools: Taylor ES, DHMS, W-L, AT.
Pretty obvious from the PP's response that there are no actual APS schools with these so called LARGE GAPS in the stalls. PP is either a liar or a troll without kids in APS.
I don’t care about the gaps. I’m against gender bathrooms and want sex based bathrooms. I live in Arlington and have kids in APS and have voted democratic every election. We exist!
You aren’t going to convince me on some dumb anonymous board of the merits of your beliefs about gender vs sex based bathrooms nor I you. I dream, however, that these post will wake up at least some progressives in Arlington to two facts. This issue isn’t so one sided that you have universal support on it; you don’t. And, calling the other side “bigots” and accusing them of being bad human beings who are discriminatory and Trump supporters and MAGA etc reflects more on you than on those of us who believe in sex based bathrooms. We are just parents doing the best for our families who disagree with you about this. I don’t care if a trans kid is in my child’s grade; I don’t think they have cooties. I would let my child be friends with said kid, I would be polite to them and to their parents. I believe in treating humans with respect. I also can believe in sexual based privacy.
Why? What is behind your irrational fear? Maybe try to get to the root of that instead of trying to come after transgender kids.
Fortunately, most people in the US -- Ds and Rs -- DO NOT think we need to require trans people to use public bathrooms that match their sex at birth, rather than the gender they identify with (49% R+D, 25% D). Less than 25% of Ds nationwide.
It’s just not an issue for the vast majority of people in extremely blue and LGBTQ-friendly Arlington.
Seems like you can’t read simple stats. Let me break it down for you:
49% of American favor or strongly favor a policy that would require trans people to use public bathrooms that match their sex at birth, rather than the gender they identify with. 26% oppose. 25% neither oppose nor favor.
Even more interesting is when you break it down by party and compare the percentages to 2022. In general Americans now have a greater tendency to support policies meant to protect trans people. So back to the bathroom issue, in 2022, 20% of democrats favored a policy that would require people to use the bathroom that matched their sex at birth. In 2025 25% support a policy. Same trend with independents. In 2022 was 41% and in 2025 it’s 49%. Trend is going in the same direction with a host of other policies. I am part of this trend so I understand it. I’m a liberal and consider myself a progressive. When this first became an issue 10 yeas ago I think I thought republicans were crazy and bigoted. Maybe 4 years ago I changed my mind. Same with the sports issue. I don’t care that much about either issue (it’s not on my list of priorities) but I do think the trans rights movement went too far and started demanding things that are nonsensical and actually harm children.
I am in the same place. This is not an issue that is top of mind or particularly important to me but it does defy logic when people act like they have no idea how anyone could have a problem with this. It's not that trans people may use a bathroom that does not align with their sex at birth. The issue is that anyone can say they are trans and gain access to these spaces and culturally we aren't allowed to say "Hey, is this legit? without being called a bigot. There are people who can and do exploit this.
I’m the PP you responded to. Yes exactly. The fear is that people will take advantage of blurry lines and gain access. This is what happened in Washington. Society draws lines so that we can protect ourselves and the most vulnerable. Sometimes these lines are arbitrary but they are there for a reason. For example my fifth grader has outdoor lab this year. My husband is a great person, a wonderful dad and has volunteered for countless school events. However for outdoor lab, even if my fifth grader is a girl, he is not allowed to chaperone and sleep with other girls in the same tent (or is it cabin?) He’s a good person, his intentions are good. But society has drawn a red line. Grown men cannot sleep with girls that are unrelated to them in the same tent. So if he volunteers he will have to volunteer to chaperone boys. It’s an arbitrary line and ppl can argue about that line for days on DCUrbanmom. But most ppl realize that the line is arbitrary but it exists for a reason, and removing it will create more problems that it will solve.
This is a good comparison. But I genuinely wonder— under current APS policy, if your DH identified as a woman, could this person then chaperone the girls and sleep in their tent? It would seem so?
Let's turn this around. In the world you want, a trans man who has completely transitioned to a man (but was born a female) could chaperone the girls and sleep in their tent. You good with that?
Answer my question first. Are you ok with a biological male chaperoning 5th grade girls in a tent overnight— yes or no? What does APS policy say about this?
I haven't read this whole discussion but did the Outdoor Lab change its policy? Especially after the incident with that kid in the tent? This sounds like false information. I chaperoned and parents were absolutely forbidden to be in a tent with any kids that weren't their own at any time. We had two official choices: stay in a tent with only our kid or stay in a tent with another parent. One parent decided to sleep in a hammock, which seemed to be a decent choice because they could keep an eye on the kids as well.
Here's an excerpt from this year's email:
"Volunteer chaperones will help supervise students, serve as tent monitors, sleep in tents with students at a ratio of 2:10, and contribute to the outdoor experience for all students. "
Hmm Maybe they changed the policy or each school has their own. I do find it strange that a parent would insist on sleeping together with a bunch of children. I don't remember for sure but I think they didn't even let dads sleep in the girl's area across that tiny creek. This is a trip and experience for the kids, after all. Go camping with your kid some other time. There are even several camping areas nearby at the lakes in fairfax.
APS has existed with its current policy for a few years now and things seem fine. The sky didn't fall in. Kids are okay with it. So what's the problem?
Anonymous wrote:APS has existed with its current policy for a few years now and things seem fine. The sky didn't fall in. Kids are okay with it. So what's the problem?
Well, I’m guessing you mean other than a registered sex offender exposing himself multiple times to young girls and taking photos of children there on his phone?
Anonymous wrote:APS has existed with its current policy for a few years now and things seem fine. The sky didn't fall in. Kids are okay with it. So what's the problem?
They fixed the policy. IDs at the door. And they explicitly say no creepy behavior - from anyone.
"Respect for Privacy and Space
• Be considerate of others' privacy by being mindful of modesty. Please cover intimate body areas while using shared spaces."
Anonymous wrote:They fixed the policy. IDs at the door. And they explicitly say no creepy behavior - from anyone.
"Respect for Privacy and Space
• Be considerate of others' privacy by being mindful of modesty. Please cover intimate body areas while using shared spaces."
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