Can we analyze Ben Affleck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To Ben’s credit, I’m sure it must have been strange to spend more time with his stepkids than his actual bio kids. He lived with J Los kids but was only a weekend dad to his own kids in the big mansion far more elaborate than Jennifer Garners home.

I am sure his kids commented on that

+1 Ben is clearly conflict avoidant and passive aggressive. JLO seems more straight forward but also somewhat likely to bulldoze her way to get what she wants. She has to be as a female to reach this level of success.

I could see him quietly seething or maybe saying something but she thinks they talked and now it's all good. But it wasn't all good. He just didn't communicate clearly.

It's was obvious from Bennifer 1.0 that he hated the limelight, entourage, making music videos, bling lifestyle, etc. Her whole lifestyle wasn't what he wanted. Unfortunately, it looks like they ended up back in the same place, but with their kids as casualties this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To Ben’s credit, I’m sure it must have been strange to spend more time with his stepkids than his actual bio kids. He lived with J Los kids but was only a weekend dad to his own kids in the big mansion far more elaborate than Jennifer Garners home.

I am sure his kids commented on that

+1 Ben is clearly conflict avoidant and passive aggressive. JLO seems more straight forward but also somewhat likely to bulldoze her way to get what she wants. She has to be as a female to reach this level of success.

I could see him quietly seething or maybe saying something but she thinks they talked and now it's all good. But it wasn't all good. He just didn't communicate clearly.

It's was obvious from Bennifer 1.0 that he hated the limelight, entourage, making music videos, bling lifestyle, etc. Her whole lifestyle wasn't what he wanted. Unfortunately, it looks like they ended up back in the same place, but with their kids as casualties this time.

They ended in the same place because he was her trophy. She had to parade him. That was a big mistake.

[Anonymous]

I think if Ben called J Lo again 10 years from
Now, she’s still fall for it.

I don’t think these 2 are over. Third time may be the charm

[Anonymous]

Her team used to call him her “leading man” to her “leading lady”.

Every romance is a fairytale and a movie for her. Frankly, I think if she weren’t famous, she’d still act the same way and be a Facebook/Instagram model or social media influencer with day to day lifestyle branding.

Ben does not like the camera or to get personal about his love life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if Ben called J Lo again 10 years from now, she’s still fall for it.

If Ben called her TODAY to work things out, she'd take him back. She still is, (and always will be), nuts about him.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think these 2 are over. Third time may be the charm

I don't think Ben would start this over a 3rd time. If he did, he wouldn't have left this marriage. He's seen it all.

[Anonymous]

God I’m so embarrassed for JLo and I don’t even like her

[Anonymous]

I'm embarrassed she has to spend money legally dropping that loser's last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To Ben’s credit, I’m sure it must have been strange to spend more time with his stepkids than his actual bio kids. He lived with J Los kids but was only a weekend dad to his own kids in the big mansion far more elaborate than Jennifer Garners home.

I am sure his kids commented on that

+1 Ben is clearly conflict avoidant and passive aggressive. JLO seems more straight forward but also somewhat likely to bulldoze her way to get what she wants. She has to be as a female to reach this level of success.

I could see him quietly seething or maybe saying something but she thinks they talked and now it's all good. But it wasn't all good. He just didn't communicate clearly.

It's was obvious from Bennifer 1.0 that he hated the limelight, entourage, making music videos, bling lifestyle, etc. Her whole lifestyle wasn't what he wanted. Unfortunately, it looks like they ended up back in the same place, but with their kids as casualties this time.

He thought if she really loved him, she would just know how to handle him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An interesting 1999 interview with Ben is resurfacing.

He says most of his exes despise him. He says it is because he is unhappy and passive in relationships and when he finally has enough, he just ghosts the partner one day and stops playing along. It seems his pattern of behavior hasn’t changed


https://www.oocities.org/affleck1971/playboy.html

PLAYBOY: Are other former girlfriends generally pissed off at you?
AFFLECK: Mostly, yeah.

PLAYBOY: Why?
AFFLECK: Probably justifiably so. If I were the next guy to go out with them I'm sure I would be nodding in agreement about what an a-hole their ex-boyfriend was. It's not like I was a womanizer or physically abusive or psychologically abusive or whatever. It's just that these relationships never end well. I think what happens is, I end up wanting to be out of the relationship. During the course of a relationship, if you get dissatisfied and unhappy and don't say something, if you don't deal with it right then, it just festers and stays there. So instead of saying, "Look, don't do that, please don't act this way," I go along with it until I just don't want to be in the relationship at all. Then I create some incident or do something or just don't call. And then she's pissed. And I can't necessarily blame her at that point since I've developed such a passive-aggressive rage that I have no sympathy and tell her, "Well of course I didn't call you. If you weren't such a nagging, shrewish harpy I'd call you." But that hopefully is something I'm growing out of.

LOL to think we’ve spent 40 pages analyzing Ben affleck, and he laid it all out there 25 years ago. Good detective work PP.

+1 I'm amazed at his self awareness. Most guys wouldn't admit that they're passive aggressive and too wimpy to deal with an issue

Passive aggression is psychological abuse in a relationship so he was wrong in that self assessment

[Anonymous]

It’s always the conflict avoidant guys with a flat affect that end up exploding and the wife/significant other ends up “disappearing” or the guy disappears for a “pack of cigarettes” back in the 70s and never returns.

They either disappear or make the woman disappear

[Anonymous]

What did he do if J Lo made her kids call him?

Lol. Did he just ignore them all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An interesting 1999 interview with Ben is resurfacing.

He says most of his exes despise him. He says it is because he is unhappy and passive in relationships and when he finally has enough, he just ghosts the partner one day and stops playing along. It seems his pattern of behavior hasn’t changed

??


https://www.oocities.org/affleck1971/playboy.html

PLAYBOY: Are other former girlfriends generally pissed off at you?
AFFLECK: Mostly, yeah.

PLAYBOY: Why?
AFFLECK: Probably justifiably so. If I were the next guy to go out with them I'm sure I would be nodding in agreement about what an a-hole their ex-boyfriend was. It's not like I was a womanizer or physically abusive or psychologically abusive or whatever. It's just that these relationships never end well. I think what happens is, I end up wanting to be out of the relationship. During the course of a relationship, if you get dissatisfied and unhappy and don't say something, if you don't deal with it right then, it just festers and stays there. So instead of saying, "Look, don't do that, please don't act this way," I go along with it until I just don't want to be in the relationship at all. Then I create some incident or do something or just don't call. And then she's pissed. And I can't necessarily blame her at that point since I've developed such a passive-aggressive rage that I have no sympathy and tell her, "Well of course I didn't call you. If you weren't such a nagging, shrewish harpy I'd call you." But that hopefully is something I'm growing out of.

LOL to think we’ve spent 40 pages analyzing Ben affleck, and he laid it all out there 25 years ago. Good detective work PP.

+1 I'm amazed at his self awareness. Most guys wouldn't admit that they're passive aggressive and too wimpy to deal with an issue

Passive aggression is psychological abuse in a relationship so he was wrong in that self assessment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if Ben called J Lo again 10 years from now, she’s still fall for it.

If Ben called her TODAY to work things out, she'd take him back. She still is, (and always will be), nuts about him.

Can she ever really love anyone other than herself?

[Anonymous]

I can see this being a complete difference to J Lo. As a fellow New Yorker, we are very assertive and like conflict communication -some would even say we thrive with it.

Ghosting or conflict avoidance is something completely foreign to the New Yorker who doesn’t bite their tongue.

J Los best friend is Leah Remini-another big mouth New Yorker who interestingly didn’t like Ben as a match for J Lo or attend the wedding. I think she saw the signs that Ben was passive aggressive and not a match for the forward Jennifer.

One of his love notes Ben gave J Lo was very passive aggressive. It mentioned J Lo loving roses and saying she can never have enough, and how he believes that.

That’s underhanded and passive aggressive just like he was during her entire documentary about showing off the love letters. If he didn’t agree with such gross and tasteless exploitation, why did he produce and participate in the documentary? He shouldn’t have starred in at all.

This gives mixed signals to Jennifer and she won’t know he has problems with her approach if he plays along like a semi happy camper.

I think Jennifer Garner definitely understand Ben way more. Lopez was out of depth and at her wits end with him, and it’s not really anyone’s fault. There’s just different approaches here temperamentally and personality wise. They’re like oil and water

[Anonymous]

But Ben is a player of mind games.

It is psychologically cruel to give a middle aged woman a ring that says “not going anahehere” and then ghost her because she produced a docuseries commercializing their life.

He seemed happy to star in the Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, in paparazzi shots, and in the documentary movie. This is confusing and manipulative behavior for the woman who is completely clueless that there is trouble in paradise whatsoever until he finally ghosts her and her kids, moves out, and stops taking calls