Do you ever have those moments where you hate your family? - Kids, Husband?

[Anonymous]

Wake up and feel like you don't want to be with them? I realize this does happen, from what I hear mostly from men who felt like this. But any moms? I feel horrible but I am tired of being the bad 'guy' - the disciplinarian, no fun one, nag, organizer. I can't believe my husband plays me this way too with the kids with his patronizing connotations. My daughter 10 is a total diva bitc; My son, lazy, over sensitive, temperamental. I'm sick of them all. ...Thanks for letting me vent !

Any moms out there who gave up full custody willingly? Or just walked away? Tomorrow I called by my doctor for a stronger prescription antidepressant. Looney house here I come.

[Anonymous]

Did you really just say those things about your kids? I remember the time I overheard my mom call me a little bitch, still stings 20 years later.

There's stress and depression and then there's being an asshole. You can only get a prescription to fix one of those, sadly.

[Anonymous]

You might get more sympathy on the board for older kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I get you're depressed but I hope you're also in therapy. It's not ok to call your daughter a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I get you're depressed but I hope you're also in therapy. It's not ok to call your daughter a bitch.

She didn't call her daughter a bitch. She's venting. There's a difference.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this woman came looking for support and got the typical DCUM holier than thou trash.

OP, sure, sometimes I feel like running away and have feelings of resentment towards my family (DH and one kid). However, my feelings have never risen to the level that you appear to express (very harsh language, looking at abandoning them). It sounds like your needs are not being met and you are in a rotten place. I would encourage you to start reading and maybe seeking professional advice on how to change the dynamic in your home to make it a happier place for you. How old are your kids? Behavior can be altered through techniques that require consistency and communication. Husbands can be coached and made aware of the impact of their words over time.

This will be a fight, no doubt, but a worthy one. It's not ok to leave your family without trying to fix it. Upping your mess is a start, but the real work is in openness, communication, and a willingness to dig deep and see where you have contributed to the problem, too.

Big hugs. Recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it. Oh, last thoughts--how are your finances? And are you having sex with DH? These sources of stress are often a good place to start.

[Anonymous]

Upping your *meds* is a start...

Autocorrect error

[Anonymous]

I don't hate my kids. I hate being a parent. About once every two months I take a break for the entire day. Sometimes I go to a hotel and then spend the next day relaxing, going to movies or bookstores or I just stay in bed at home all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this woman came looking for support and got the typical DCUM holier than thou trash.

OP, sure, sometimes I feel like running away and have feelings of resentment towards my family (DH and one kid). However, my feelings have never risen to the level that you appear to express (very harsh language, looking at abandoning them). It sounds like your needs are not being met and you are in a rotten place. I would encourage you to start reading and maybe seeking professional advice on how to change the dynamic in your home to make it a happier place for you. How old are your kids? Behavior can be altered through techniques that require consistency and communication. Husbands can be coached and made aware of the impact of their words over time.

This will be a fight, no doubt, but a worthy one. It's not ok to leave your family without trying to fix it. Upping your mess is a start, but the real work is in openness, communication, and a willingness to dig deep and see where you have contributed to the problem, too.

Big hugs. Recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it. Oh, last thoughts--how are your finances? And are you having sex with DH? These sources of stress are often a good place to start. "


Thank you truly. I am working on myself. Finances okay. Haven't had sex in years. Husband is asexual, dead tired from work.

[Anonymous]

I feel that way occasionally, OP. You need to go out with friends, and recharge your "me" who isn't just mom or wife. Can you pick a couple of areas where you scale back how much you nag and discipline, to give yourself a break? It also helps me to look at old baby photos, when the kids were really cute and parenting was less complicated. It dissipates the resentment in those moments when I am fed up.

[Anonymous]

YES

[Anonymous]

Yes, I've had times of feeling like this. Don't beat yourself up. Being a mom and wife is hard. There are a lot of expectations that go with it. Usually when I feel this way and can't pull myself out of it, I know I need a day of me time or a good nap.

And no you don't need meds because many parents feel this way at some time, whether they are willing to admit it or not. There was a Washington Post article a while back ago that posted research that says most people's happiness takes a dip with children.

[Anonymous]

I have never hated my kids, but husband, sure. If it weren't for the kids, I would have dumped him a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't hate my kids. I hate being a parent. About once every two months I take a break for the entire day. Sometimes I go to a hotel and then spend the next day relaxing, going to movies or bookstores or I just stay in bed at home all day.

It sounds like you hate being a parent because your DH puts it all on you. If I were you I wouldn't up my meds I would spend a few weeks without them and let DH deal with everything. Let him be more engaged and start being a parent. Just say 'mommy needs a mental health break' and go off and stay with your parents or a friend or something. Things will change.

You could also do marriage therapy but I'd start with this jump start.

And your 10 year old will just get worse until she's maybe 16 or 17 probably.