My male supervisor stares at my chest

[Anonymous]

It makes me so uncomfortable. I thought I was the only one to notice it. A male coworker left this job and we went out to celebrate. At the end of the get together, it was just me and my male coworker, and he brought up that he noticed that our supervisor looks at me a lot and particularly my chest and he didn't think it was appropriate. My male supervisor is married so this makes me even more annoyed at the whole thing.

I'm not sure if it's a reflex or what. I don't wear revealing clothing at the office. Mostly suits. But, I do have a largeish chest. But, this is starting to make me resent ever having to deal with him. And I'm not sure how to say: stop staring at my chest. This could become a he said she said thing and I'm really unsure of how to handle this.

[Anonymous]

Good luck

[Anonymous]

"My eyes are up here, Dan." Or, just stare at his crotch with a faintly confused/disgusted look on your face.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I have been in this situation before, but for me luckily it was a temp job and didn't last long. It totally sucks. No great advice but I empathize. You could try a gentle rebuke but be prepared for him to have no idea what you're talking about (or claim to have no idea).

[Anonymous]

What is he looking for? Maybe he lost something in there.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. It sucks. Yes, many, if not most, men have sex on their minds, especially if they see somebody they're physically attracted to. Perhaps you could subtlely gesture the fact that his stares are unappreciated, such as folding your arms across the chest, tilting your body sideways, or I dunno. If he has a modicum of manners, he should get the point. If not, he's an ass and you'll have to live with that. If you go all aggressive on him, the joke's really on you and it will never turn out well for you.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't have to do this, but this is what I've done that works perfectly. When it's just the two of you, very jokingly say "please don't stare at my chest." Big smile. Or your male coworker could say something to him about it. Men do rag on other men for things like this.

I have a family friend that does this to me nonstop. I'm convinced he's either a porn addict or a pedophile. He disgusts me.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it's awkward and unavoidable, as a chest is attached in a different area than, say, a crotch or legs. This is a problem, though. He should either not look at you at all or aim eye contact toward your forehead all the while maintaining an aura of, see, I'm consciously avoiding looking at your chest.

[Anonymous]

Does your male coworker have an agenda?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have to do this, but this is what I've done that works perfectly. When it's just the two of you, very jokingly say "please don't stare at my chest." Big smile. Or your male coworker could say something to him about it. Men do rag on other men for things like this.

I have a family friend that does this to me nonstop. I'm convinced he's either a porn addict or a pedophile. He disgusts me.

I literally don't understand what "rag" means but if it means the supervisor talking about OP's body, no it doesn't happen. A lot of men are asses but most men do not say that crap about other women. If rag, in this context, means the co-worker telling supervisor it's not alright to do so, that'll depend on whether your co-worker is in a position to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's awkward and unavoidable, as a chest is attached in a different area than, say, a crotch or legs. This is a problem, though. He should either not look at you at all or aim eye contact toward your forehead all the while maintaining an aura of, see, I'm consciously avoiding looking at your chest.

WTF are you talking about? People look at each others' faces when they speak. It is completely avoidable.

OP, the next time you are alone with him, tell him that he needs to stop looking at your chest because it is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. Be that direct. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's awkward and unavoidable, as a chest is attached in a different area than, say, a crotch or legs. This is a problem, though. He should either not look at you at all or aim eye contact toward your forehead all the while maintaining an aura of, see, I'm consciously avoiding looking at your chest.

WTF are you talking about? People look at each others' faces when they speak. It is completely avoidable.

OP, the next time you are alone with him, tell him that he needs to stop looking at your chest because it is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. Be that direct. Really.

To PP's defense, I think what was meant is that staring at the chest can be more "explainable" as compared to staring at somebody's crotch or legs. Like, "Bob, why are you staring at my chest?" Bob:"No, I wasn't, I just have a lazy eye."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's awkward and unavoidable, as a chest is attached in a different area than, say, a crotch or legs. This is a problem, though. He should either not look at you at all or aim eye contact toward your forehead all the while maintaining an aura of, see, I'm consciously avoiding looking at your chest.

WTF are you talking about? People look at each others' faces when they speak. It is completely avoidable.

OP, the next time you are alone with him, tell him that he needs to stop looking at your chest because it is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. Be that direct. Really.

Calm down with the shouting and fouls language. In normal human interaction--say an employee enters and a seated colleague looks up, a person's chest may be taken into view for a millisecond.

[Anonymous]

Everytime he does it, look down at your suit and say, "oh, woops, did I spill something?" Let him know you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's awkward and unavoidable, as a chest is attached in a different area than, say, a crotch or legs. This is a problem, though. He should either not look at you at all or aim eye contact toward your forehead all the while maintaining an aura of, see, I'm consciously avoiding looking at your chest.

WTF are you talking about? People look at each others' faces when they speak. It is completely avoidable.

OP, the next time you are alone with him, tell him that he needs to stop looking at your chest because it is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. Be that direct. Really.

Calm down with the shouting and fouls language. In normal human interaction--say an employee enters and a seated colleague looks up, a person's chest may be taken into view for a millisecond.

That is not what OP described.