Professional women, do you worry about aging/looking old?
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Anonymous
| I'm 41 and a lawyer. Luckily, law is not a youth-centric field, but I am still concerned about ageism. I think it can be particularly bad for older women vs. men. I dye my grays, diet and exercise, and have even started getting a little Botox every few months. I would probably do all those things anyway for vanity and, in the case of exercise, health, but I partially do it for professional reasons. I wonder if other women worry about looking old because of potential detriment at work. |
Anonymous
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Turned 50 a few months ago. I like the gray that is coming in at my temples. No Botox. Working on weightlifting so my arms and shoulders look good.
I don't worry because: 1. Who has time or energy to worry? 2. Worrying is not a good look at any age. 3. #1 & #2 |
Anonymous
I agree. Except I'm in my 40s. Everything I do is for me. |
Anonymous
I don't understand what you've written. What does this mean? |
Anonymous
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It's not aging-specific, but I have deep 11 wrinkles between my eyebrow. In my 30's I realized they were getting much more noticeable and gave me terrible Resting Bitch Face.
I'm in a role where I need to get shit done and speak up with opinions, but I also am in an organizational culture where being friendly & polite is highly valued (more than average, there are some religious factors at play). And of course, women are always expected to be more friendly/conciliatory than men and judged more harshly on tone and facial expression when saying the exact same thing. Got Botox for the 11s. No more bitch face. Noticeable improvement in receptiveness/attitude from others at work -- this is at an organization I've been at 10 years, have great relationships at the C-level, well-respected. I've changed absolutely nothing else about what I do or how I say things. So I'd say mine isn't aging-specific, but obviously any wrinkles we have get worse with age -- and I did do the botox about 50/50 for personal and professional reasons. Totally worth it. |
Anonymous
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14:27 again - BTW, since my late 20's, I opted not to dye my scattered grays (in dark hair, came in pretty evenly and looked nice) because it actually was an advantage at that point to look a bit older. I worked primary with the Executive team.
However, as I get older, I agree there becomes a turning point where they become a liability and not an asset. I think it's unique to your organization, role, tenure at the company, etc. If I was interviewing or at a new company - I'd dye them in a heartbeat. I also think after about 45 I'll likely dye them. If I could stay looking about 38 forever, that would be ideal. Old enough to have experience and be considered for any role, generally considered out of childbearing years for most people (total unspoken bias in hiring/advancement during your late 20's/early to mid 30's), but still young enough to not be old in the workforce. TLDR: I definitely agree with you and see your point OP. |
Anonymous
| No, but I'm 32 and people still ask wheee I go to college. In 30 years I may feel differently. |
Anonymous
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I don't worry about wrinkles and I don't wear makeup. But I do color my hair and only because of my age. I'm looking forward to retiring and letting it go gray finally! I work out and watch what I eat because it makes me feel better, not because I care about whether people think I'm old.
I'm just hoping the current administration doesn't screw things up so that the economy goes south. If I got laid off now, it would be hard to find a new job because of my age. That's the reality of it. |
Anonymous
| 38, and I am welcoming the first few greys. I am petite and young-looking, and despite having a PhD and 15 years of experience in my field, I think my looks make me seem younger and less experienced than I am. I take great care with professional dress, hair, and makeup, and look forward to my greys letting me be a bit more casual. |
Anonymous
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No. I'm in my 40's and I feel that some wrinkles and gray hair seem to lend credibility to both women and men in high knowledge fields like law, science, finance, etc.
I may feel differently in my 60's but I hope to be retired by then. |
Anonymous
| I think about this now that I'm in my mid-50's. I color my hair and do my best to stay classic in my dress -- on trend but not too trendy that I seem like I'm trying too hard. Thinking about getting some botox or fillers for a couples of lines on my face. Other than that, I try to maintain a youthful mindset, which I suspect is most important. |
Anonymous
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I'm 49 and I absolutely perform beauty interventions to look more youthful and vital at work (a hospital). Botox, fillers, highlights, retinA, laser for dark spots, "no makeup" makeup every day, eyebrow tint to hide greys, subtle (!) teeth whitening, and tons of yoga and swimming, plus a little
running and cycling. It would be really nice to pretend all middle aged professional women are assessed exclusively on their skill. I know better, I've seen it first hand, and I'm not going to capitulate with my livelihood and earning potential, just to make some feminist points with flyaway grey hairs and jowls. I'm well aware I'm playing The Game. |
Anonymous
I get it, but this regimen sounds exhausting. I truly feel sorry that you think this level of vigilance is necessary. Ageism and sexism suck. |
Anonymous
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44 year old lawyer. Absolutely don't worry about this for professional reasons. IMHO, middle-aged female lawyers that look like they are trying to look like they are still in their 20s or 30 just look less credible, not more credible. There is ageism in the law, but it's different in nature -- more that no one is going to hire you into a lateral spot after a certain age without a book of business, because they think they can't work you to death and you won't be worth it.
I do dye my hair in part because my particular color of grey didn't look grey -- it just looked like unwashed brown, which I did think looked unprofessional. I figure at some point when it's really grey I can let it go again. |
Anonymous
| Nope women look like crap if they don't keep up. Only men can look good with gray and some wrinkles. It's science |