Professional women, do you worry about aging/looking old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 49 and I absolutely perform beauty interventions to look more youthful and vital at work (a hospital). Botox, fillers, highlights, retinA, laser for dark spots, "no makeup" makeup every day, eyebrow tint to hide greys, subtle (!) teeth whitening, and tons of yoga and swimming, plus a little
running and cycling.

It would be really nice to pretend all middle aged professional women are assessed exclusively on their skill. I know better,
I've seen it first hand, and I'm not going to capitulate with my livelihood and earning potential, just to make some feminist points with flyaway grey hairs and jowls. I'm well aware I'm playing The Game.

I get it, but this regimen sounds exhausting. I truly feel sorry that you think this level of vigilance is necessary. Ageism and sexism suck.

Sorry but this effort also prevents affairs with younger women and higher pay easier jobs.

[Anonymous]

Why worry about your looks? Enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:27 again - BTW, since my late 20's, I opted not to dye my scattered grays (in dark hair, came in pretty evenly and looked nice) because it actually was an advantage at that point to look a bit older. I worked primary with the Executive team.

However, as I get older, I agree there becomes a turning point where they become a liability and not an asset. I think it's unique to your organization, role, tenure at the company, etc.

If I was interviewing or at a new company - I'd dye them in a heartbeat. I also think after about 45 I'll likely dye them.

If I could stay looking about 38 forever, that would be ideal. Old enough to have experience and be considered for any role, generally considered out of childbearing years for most people (total unspoken bias in hiring/advancement during your late 20's/early to mid 30's), but still young enough to not be old in the workforce.

TLDR: I definitely agree with you and see your point OP.

Very much agree with this. Recently turned 50 and while in my personal life I like to think I embrace almost all aspects of my age, I am a bit less comfortable with it in my professional life. I happen to work for a company with a young CEO and it is clear that corporate leaders value youth. We are kind of 'known' for this in our industry. The people have risen to the top are either relatively young or go to considerable lengths to look that way. Personally, I don't plan to go to those lengths, and am comfortable with where I am in my professional life, but I do notice the emphasis on youth and do take care of myself differently than I think I would in a different organization.

[Anonymous]

It will be sad when these barely acceptable DC women give up

[Anonymous]

No. I work at a big Fed agency and the women in senior leadership roles aren't appearance-oriented. They look professional and groomed, but not surgeries/Botoxed/maintaining youthful heads of hair. None of them are fat, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope women look like crap if they don't keep up. Only men can look good with gray and some wrinkles. It's science

This

[Anonymous]

What a sad, scary thread!

[Anonymous]

To an extent. I am 46 in a job where I give public lectures, interface with donors, etc, and I am interested in rising to an even more visible position. I am not tall (which I often feel gives one amore authoritative presence) so I feel even more pressure to look put together: keep my weight stable, hair and makeup professional. Started botox a year ago, and do IPL for rosacea. Its okay to look around my age, but being professional and attractive and somewhat fashionable is more important. If i had more time/money I'd do more facial treatments and I'd bleach my teeth again except the first time I did it, it hurt like hell and didn't seem to make a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I work at a big Fed agency and the women in senior leadership roles aren't appearance-oriented. They look professional and groomed, but not surgeries/Botoxed/maintaining youthful heads of hair. None of them are fat, though.

Another fed here, though I work in a small independent agency. It is a very intellectual environment. More than half the women don't wear make-up at all. It does not seem to affect advancement. As I've aged, I've become more and more impressed with how much better the federal workplace is for women, generally speaking.

I'm 50. I color my hair because I want to, not because I think it is necessary professionally. I wear a small amount of make-up and reasonably current clothing and stay fit because I want to, not because I think it is necessary professionally. I have no interest in botox or any other procedures. I don't whiten my teeth, get manicures, straighten my hair, etc., because I don't care to spend my free time that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I work at a big Fed agency and the women in senior leadership roles aren't appearance-oriented. They look professional and groomed, but not surgeries/Botoxed/maintaining youthful heads of hair. None of them are fat, though.

Another fed here, though I work in a small independent agency. It is a very intellectual environment. More than half the women don't wear make-up at all. It does not seem to affect advancement. As I've aged, I've become more and more impressed with how much better the federal workplace is for women, generally speaking.

I'm 50. I color my hair because I want to, not because I think it is necessary professionally. I wear a small amount of make-up and reasonably current clothing and stay fit because I want to, not because I think it is necessary professionally. I have no interest in botox or any other procedures. I don't whiten my teeth, get manicures, straighten my hair, etc., because I don't care to spend my free time that way.

^^Meant to add, I do give public presentations, attend many outside meetings with industry reps, etc., so I'm not buried in the bowels of some building, LOL.

[Anonymous]

I am 50, I don't worry about my looks, I am in IT. I do want to change jobs and worry that my age will work against me, but I don't think "looking younger" will help.

I found an article about how to write your resume so you seem to be 40ish.

[Anonymous]

No, I honestly have had the opposite problem more in my career. Not being taken seriously because I look to young. I am 47 and work in IT. I admit that I am lucky and have good genes... I am often assumed to be my 22 year old daughter's sister. I have had to do significant job hopping in the last few years due to lack of upward mobility because I don't look the part ( I have actually had people tell me this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope women look like crap if they don't keep up. Only men can look good with gray and some wrinkles. It's science

No most men over 50 look old because they don't take care of themselves, or have that same stupid sterotype. If anything more women look better because of makeup and coloring their hair.

Everyone should dye their hair, keep their weight down, exercise and eat a healthy diet. Not for some job, but for themselves and their health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope women look like crap if they don't keep up. Only men can look good with gray and some wrinkles. It's science

Its actually not science. Its society. Men are allowed to age -- women aren't.

[Anonymous]

No, it's the opposite for me. Being older gives me much more credibility and clients are willing to hire me because I've got years of experience. I find that keeping fit is the most important. I lost 30 lbs a few years ago and I think that did more to make me look professional than anything else I could do.