Professional women, do you worry about aging/looking old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I work at a big Fed agency and the women in senior leadership roles aren't appearance-oriented. They look professional and groomed, but not surgeries/Botoxed/maintaining youthful heads of hair. None of them are fat, though.

Another fed here, though I work in a small independent agency. It is a very intellectual environment. More than half the women don't wear make-up at all. It does not seem to affect advancement. As I've aged, I've become more and more impressed with how much better the federal workplace is for women, generally speaking.

I'm 50. I color my hair because I want to, not because I think it is necessary professionally. I wear a small amount of make-up and reasonably current clothing and stay fit because I want to, not because I think it is necessary professionally. I have no interest in botox or any other procedures. I don't whiten my teeth, get manicures, straighten my hair, etc., because I don't care to spend my free time that way.

^^Meant to add, I do give public presentations, attend many outside meetings with industry reps, etc., so I'm not buried in the bowels of some building, LOL.

+1 here.

Lifelong fed, and slightly frumpy professional is pretty much the uniform. Lots go without makeup, even as they age. I'd say that's a bit rarer for the political officials at the top of the chain but not unheard of. I seriously do nothing except try to stay in decent health and dress reasonably professionally.

[Anonymous]

I'm in big law. I do not spend a ton of time each day on appearance, but I put value on it in my lifestyle. I buy clothes that I like and look flattering on me, I work out and eat properly, and I get my hair cut and colored in a flattering way every couple months. I wear a bit of make up every day but my make up routine has barely changed since I was 20 (i.e., mascara, eye liner, blush and lip color).

I don't love that I'm aging and look older than I did when I was 20, but I don't think how old I looked has ever impacted my career. My firm has ranks of highly successful women in their 50s and 60s, and they run the gamut of botoxed and well dressed, to no makeup and frumpy suits. I don't think aging will have any impact on my career, but I do think it has been and will continue to be important to be very pulled together, regardless of age (unless you're the super rain maker who gets away with no make up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I honestly have had the opposite problem more in my career. Not being taken seriously because I look to young. I am 47 and work in IT. I admit that I am lucky and have good genes... I am often assumed to be my 22 year old daughter's sister. I have had to do significant job hopping in the last few years due to lack of upward mobility because I don't look the part ( I have actually had people tell me this).

Might be more sexism than ageism though, no?

[Anonymous]

being that I'm almost 50 and nobody believes I have grown kids, I think I'm good.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 49 and I absolutely perform beauty interventions to look more youthful and vital at work (a hospital). Botox, fillers, highlights, retinA, laser for dark spots, "no makeup" makeup every day, eyebrow tint to hide greys, subtle (!) teeth whitening, and tons of yoga and swimming, plus a little
running and cycling.

It would be really nice to pretend all middle aged professional women are assessed exclusively on their skill. I know better,
I've seen it first hand, and I'm not going to capitulate with my livelihood and earning potential, just to make some feminist points with flyaway grey hairs and jowls. I'm well aware I'm playing The Game.

I get it, but this regimen sounds exhausting. I truly feel sorry that you think this level of vigilance is necessary. Ageism and sexism suck.

Sorry but this effort also prevents affairs with younger women and higher pay easier jobs.

lol If i'm with such a man, I will be happy the other woman has him. I'll even send flowers and a thank you card for taking the loser off my hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope women look like crap if they don't keep up. Only men can look good with gray and some wrinkles. It's science

Its actually not science. Its society. Men are allowed to age -- women aren't.

Not anymore except Holly weird. A fat paunchy man is just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, scary thread!

It illustrates how some are in miserable roles rules caring about nonsense instead of what makes one happy. At the end of their life they'll wonder why they wasted so much oxygen on what strangers think.

I'm thankful I never joined the herd mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, scary thread!

It illustrates how some are in miserable roles rules caring about nonsense instead of what makes one happy. At the end of their life they'll wonder why they wasted so much oxygen on what strangers think.

I'm thankful I never joined the herd mentality.

It's not about caring what others think of you. The fact is looking old and/or unattractive tangibly affects career advancement, particularly for women. It's not fair. I don't agree with it. But it's a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, scary thread!

It illustrates how some are in miserable roles rules caring about nonsense instead of what makes one happy. At the end of their life they'll wonder why they wasted so much oxygen on what strangers think.

I'm thankful I never joined the herd mentality.

It's not about caring what others think of you. The fact is looking old and/or unattractive tangibly affects career advancement, particularly for women. It's not fair. I don't agree with it. But it's a fact.

Agreed. And what makes me happy is not being marginalized professionally, which would be more likely if I succumbed to frumpiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I honestly have had the opposite problem more in my career. Not being taken seriously because I look to young. I am 47 and work in IT. I admit that I am lucky and have good genes... I am often assumed to be my 22 year old daughter's sister. I have had to do significant job hopping in the last few years due to lack of upward mobility because I don't look the part ( I have actually had people tell me this).

Might be more sexism than ageism though, no?

I think it's both. I am currently at a company with a female CIO and several female board members. People are used to women in the organization moving up the ladder, yet when I made SVP it was rumored (falsely) that I was the youngest in company history. I have also had situations where it was blatant sexism (I could write a book.... tech guys sometimes act like little boys), but honestly the higher up I move the more I think the age thing plays a role.

[Anonymous]

Good question OP. It's only been since I've gotten older that I need to make an effort.

When I was younger, I could get buy counting on my looks. People said I looked like Cindy Crawford.

Now that I"m 61, I spend more money on my hair, clothes, workouts, etc. People do judge harshly when women don't make an effort.

[Anonymous]

Old men who have let themselves go have as much a penalty as old women who let themselves go. Sure, there are a handful of guys who are supre sexy in their old age and can leverage off that. By the same token, lots of attractive young women can do the same thing. But for most people, getting old means you have to start caring more about your weight, clothes, hair color, hair cuts, etc. You don't have to invest a ton of time, but you can't ignore it either.

[Anonymous]

No PP. Men are not penalized to the same level as women. Bald men think they look great. I think they look gross, but they're allowed to go out in public with no hair. They should wear hats to cover their ugly heads.

[Anonymous]

Not too much. I'm 51 and look it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I honestly have had the opposite problem more in my career. Not being taken seriously because I look to young. I am 47 and work in IT. I admit that I am lucky and have good genes... I am often assumed to be my 22 year old daughter's sister. I have had to do significant job hopping in the last few years due to lack of upward mobility because I don't look the part ( I have actually had people tell me this).

Might be more sexism than ageism though, no?

Same here. 35 but get told I look 21