What kind of a father does this?

[Anonymous]

Things have not been great with my ex but we used to be civil enough. Hell we even went to see his parents together on long weekends. Until recently, when he did something extremely stupid and I blew up at him. Since then, he has stopped calling or answering the phone when our child calls. He does not answer texts. Today he saw our child walking down the street (we live very close to each other) and ran into a store to avoid having to talk him. When he thought that our son had passed by he came out of the store only to stumble right into our son. He mumbled something about "I'll talk to you later" and ran away. WHO DOES THAT??? And I wasn't even there so he had no excuse.

I get that he might not want to talk to me. Whatever, I don't care to ever talk to him either. But who just drops out of a child's life like that with no explanation??? I am so pissed and hurt. I can only imagine what kind of questions I'm going to get from our son when i get home.

[Anonymous]

Baby daddies sometimes act this way; not fathers.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry; that must be so hurtful to your child. He's lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Baby daddies sometimes act this way; not fathers.

+1. That's the behavior of sperm donors, not fathers. Sorry, your ex is a POS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby daddies sometimes act this way; not fathers.

+1. That's the behavior of sperm donors, not fathers. Sorry, your ex is a POS.

OP here. you are exactly right. He has always been a POS. I blame myself for being too permissive. In retrospect, I should have set clear boundaries from the beginning and perhaps he would have run away before he and our son had a relationship at all. I feel it's worse now since our son is wondering what the hell happened.

[Anonymous]

I was trying to wait it out and let him come to his senses, but clearly he is taking this too far. I need to tell our son something. I feel like being honest and telling him that daddy is mad at mommy and that is why he is not coming to see him. I am not going to say anything negative at this point about his dad, but I need him to know that things are not ok and that dad is acting like a lunatic.

[Anonymous]

WTF? I think it's ok to tell your son, "your dad clearly has some issues he needs to work through. He's pissed at me but he shouldn't take that out on you." How old is your son?

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF? I think it's ok to tell your son, "your dad clearly has some issues he needs to work through. He's pissed at me but he shouldn't take that out on you." How old is your son?

Good luck.

+1. I think it's important for parents to avoid trash talking each other but it's just as important that your son know he deserves better than his dad is giving. No kid deserves that kind of behavior from their parent. What a d-bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF? I think it's ok to tell your son, "your dad clearly has some issues he needs to work through. He's pissed at me but he shouldn't take that out on you." How old is your son?

Good luck.

That is exactly what I was going to say. Our son is 8 so old enough to clearly know when I'm BS-ing. I mean he is a very intuitive kid anyway.

[Anonymous]

He is an adult and in charge of his own behavior. He can control how he reacts to you. The idiots blaming you on this forum seem to not understand that you can't control another person's behavior.

[Anonymous]

My ex laws sometimes ostracize me and over spring break, my child suffered for it. Everyone went to an event she would have loved but she was not included.

I explained to her that their problem is not about her, but that it's with me. I suggest that approach when talking to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex laws sometimes ostracize me and over spring break, my child suffered for it. Everyone went to an event she would have loved but she was not included.

I explained to her that their problem is not about her, but that it's with me. I suggest that approach when talking to your child.

I did that. I came home and told my son that daddy is mad at me but that he is not supposed to treat him like that and that he did nothing to deserve that. Thank you for understanding

[Anonymous]

Some of these guy were trapped and resent it. The women thought they would be chained to them for life, but the guys decided they were moving on. That's what I'm getting here.
Also, I don't think OP's ex was bonded to their child.

[Anonymous]

It's weird. Is it passive-aggressive to get back at you? Does he have visitation and not use it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? I think it's ok to tell your son, "your dad clearly has some issues he needs to work through. He's pissed at me but he shouldn't take that out on you." How old is your son?

Good luck.

That is exactly what I was going to say. Our son is 8 so old enough to clearly know when I'm BS-ing. I mean he is a very intuitive kid anyway.

I would say dad's been busy if he asks. Otherwise text him once more telling him you two don't have to speak, but to let you know when he's going to visit. If nothing, let it go.