Ever have a friend whose life seems so perfect it's hard to be around her sometimes?

[Anonymous]

I am not going to have a pity party. I am happily married but my husband is not social and sometimes that makes it really hard (I am very social). We are very comfortable but not incredibly rich, have three good kids (two of whom we have had issues with over the last several years) both in a good place now. Besides the every day stresses that life can bring, I do not have too much to complain about.

I have a friend, who I consider to be a good friend but not in my closest circle. We have bonded recently over our working on a school project together. She is married to a great guy (who at least seems to be very gregarious and super outgoing). They travel more than anyone I have ever met, own a few homes and their main home is incredible,have a major boat. Own a super successful business.Their life seems at least on the surface to be very very glamorous. I dont want to name specifics of things they do but its pretty enviable. Everyone seems to like them and want to be friends with them, they are both quite social.

I don't want to say how many kids they have as I don't want it to be a case where someone will say they know them, but each of their kids seems to be super successful. Everything always seems to be going so well. Is this possible? I mean life just seems so perfect over there and i have to admit though she is SO sweet and I really really like her, I find myself limiting my time with her as I seem to always walk away feeling kind of bad about my life, my family, my successes. Is it possible that someones life could be that good and everything could be that perfect? She has made the effort to do things and honestly I just am not into it because her life makes me feel kind of depressed. Is that weird?

I am sure it makes me out to be a insecure, shallow, jealous person. I am not. I am reasonably happy but somehow her life just makes me feel bad. I think its more the kids successes than the actual "things" they own. Do you or have you know someone who just made you feel kind of bad/low on yourself? How to handle? Her being extremely nice makes this feel like more of a conflict. Kind of torn on this. Help.

[Anonymous]

The problem is you, not them having an awesome life or "making" you feel bad. As much as you're protesting you're not, you are insecure.

So yes, someone's life can be that wonderful and perfect. I love being around those people because i figure I must be equally awesome to be in their circle. The fact that you seem to want people to come on here and say "no, no one is that great. The husband probably cheats and she likely has an eating disorder" or something like that is sad.

You don't have to blow out someone else's candle to make yours brighter.

[Anonymous]

It's ok. Deep inside at your core , you are competitive and you're getting your ass kicked by this individual. It's ok to be competitive and nobody wants to feel like a loser . In the grand scheme of things you are a winner but compared to this person you are a loser. You will never catch up since she is too far ahead. It's better to hang out with your own kind, that stuff can eat you alive.

[Anonymous]

Focus on what you have. Someone maybe looking at you the way you look at her.

[Anonymous]

Two things: 1. yes some people have it easier/better than others. So absolutely things could be as good for your friend as they look - lucky her! 2. Its also absolutely ok if you don't want to hang out with her b/c she makes you jealous/feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Jealousy makes women do some stupid stuff.

[Anonymous]

No NO ONE'S life is that perfect. Trust me stuff happens behind the scenes but some are more transparent than others.

Had one such friend and one day found out they were divorcing. Major shock, everyone thought they had a perfect life. The son who all said was superboy turned out to be addicted to cocaine at 26 and was "away" for a few years.

So no, just watch Big Little Lies on HBO, that is a fair depiction of what life really is.

[Anonymous]

Do not hang around people who don't make you feel good about yourself, lift you up, Life is too short. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and happy. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

Do not hang around people who don't make you feel good about yourself, lift you up, Life is too short. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and happy. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No NO ONE'S life is that perfect. Trust me stuff happens behind the scenes but some are more transparent than others.

Had one such friend and one day found out they were divorcing. Major shock, everyone thought they had a perfect life. The son who all said was superboy turned out to be addicted to cocaine at 26 and was "away" for a few years.

So no, just watch Big Little Lies on HBO, that is a fair depiction of what life really is.

Nobody's life is perfect but some people do kick your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok. Deep inside at your core , you are competitive and you're getting your ass kicked by this individual. It's ok to be competitive and nobody wants to feel like a loser . In the grand scheme of things you are a winner but compared to this person you are a loser. You will never catch up since she is too far ahead. It's better to hang out with your own kind, that stuff can eat you alive.

Competition is healthy. This lady is in the pros and you are in the minor leagues . Hang around here enough to pick up some tips on how to blow away your friends in the minor leagues.

[Anonymous]

Why put yourself around someone that makes you feel less than?
My H is a highly educated man with a stellar education, some of his friends that he is still friends with married from within their school (Yale). Those women admittedly intimidate me. I could not be friends at least with 2 of them who are major intellectual snobs who think their lives are untouchable. They make me feel like crap and I am a fairly well educated gal.

So I am polite, see them when I must and do what is required but that's it. I don't believe in making myself be friends with anyone for any reason and if someone does not make me feel good/happy then it is just not a compatible friendship. Be nice do what you need to do but don't force yourself to be friends with her.

[Anonymous]

No. All my friends are imperfect, as am I.

[Anonymous]

Some people are better at keeping the negatives to themselves. I am careful to never put down my DH or say anything about our relationship being in trouble. It's no ones business.

The amount of things you own has nothing to do with how happy you are. I own A LOT of "enviable" things. I got them because both my parents died when I was 23 and I inherited all of their things and money to buy more. It's not really a happy thing.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and feel this way about my MB. She is beautiful, her husband adores her, they are financially well off, good social lives, both CEO's of companies. Then there is me, a few years younger but single, no kids, don't have a great social life and good people to depend on like they do.
I feel the difference between us all so much that it makes me want to quit my job.
I am not sure what to believe. I agree that maybe these so called perfect women have secret struggles (Like the women in Big little lies. ) but I also think some women are lucky enough to have it all.