New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, you made me laugh. I asked because I know the older kids can buy snacks at the snack bar but the younger ones cannot. I promise I will not try to walk him in the door.

But he will likely be hungry before lunch. And if you check the title of the thread, maybe you could understand why I posted my question. Thanks!

If your little snowflake is hungry before lunch, he will have to gut it out like all the other boys. It's one of the many ways STA instills grit. My best advice honey is to resist the temptation to baby your little baby. Once he steps through those STA doors, and yes, very much without you in tow, he is on his way to manhood. Get used to it. It's why you worked so hard to get him there. Now let him go.

Actually they eat lunch pretty early - 11:30 so I feed my son a big breakfast with lots of protein, fruit and little bit of carbs and he is fine. Once he gets home he is hungry and eats a ton. Good luck. I think you will find sta to be a wonderful school and the faculty and staff are kind and not rigid. If a kid said he was hungry I can't think of a single teacher that wouldn't get him something. The school is focused on the well being of the boys always as their first priority at least in our experience. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are clip on ties okay?

Yep!

Are you kidding me? Maybe if your dad is an engineer. And come to think of it I'm not sure if there are any engineer dads in the school right now. That's one of the first manly skills your C former should be mastering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are clip on ties okay?

Yep!

Are you kidding me? Maybe if your dad is an engineer. And come to think of it I'm not sure if there are any engineer dads in the school right now. That's one of the first manly skills your C former should be mastering.

Somebody is being nasty.

I have seen plenty of clip-on ties over the years. Regular neckties can be better in some ways because they stay on better during playtime (until you've seen scads of necktie clad 10 year olds running around playing/soccer/touch football/frisbee/random-made-up-running-shouting-game you haven't really lived). He'll be able to learn to tie a necktie or can slip a pre-tied one over his head too, of course. By upper school, some of the more adventurous even learn to tie bowties! But clip-ons are definitely note unheard-of.

Also, good tip: the Student Exchange has great deals on used blazers, neckties. Can be great to stock up on a modestly-priced spare or two.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are clip on ties okay?

Yep!

Are you kidding me? Maybe if your dad is an engineer. And come to think of it I'm not sure if there are any engineer dads in the school right now. That's one of the first manly skills your C former should be mastering.

Somebody is being nasty.

I have seen plenty of clip-on ties over the years. Regular neckties can be better in some ways because they stay on better during playtime (until you've seen scads of necktie clad 10 year olds running around playing/soccer/touch football/frisbee/random-made-up-running-shouting-game you haven't really lived). He'll be able to learn to tie a necktie or can slip a pre-tied one over his head too, of course. By upper school, some of the more adventurous even learn to tie bowties! But clip-ons are definitely note unheard-of.

Also, good tip: the Student Exchange has great deals on used blazers, neckties. Can be great to stock up on a modestly-priced spare or two.

Good luck!

Bow ties actualy start in lower school. One of those over the top preppy teachers (a great dresser in addition to being a great teacher) runs informal tutorial sessions on how to tie a bow tie, and I think there is also a Bow Tie Tuesday or something like that.

[Anonymous]

PP, I wanted to find this thread to ask about whether any LS boys ever wear bow ties, and here you have just posted something about that. I know one LS dad who is fond of these himself and I can imagine his son wearing them but have not yet seen it. If there is even an informal Bow Tie Tuesday or some such, I think I will get my son a bow tie to have as an option.

I take it the snap-on bow tie is frowned upon like the clip-on tie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I wanted to find this thread to ask about whether any LS boys ever wear bow ties, and here you have just posted something about that. I know one LS dad who is fond of these himself and I can imagine his son wearing them but have not yet seen it. If there is even an informal Bow Tie Tuesday or some such, I think I will get my son a bow tie to have as an option.

I take it the snap-on bow tie is frowned upon like the clip-on tie?

No one frowns upon which type or tie or bow tie - no one notices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I wanted to find this thread to ask about whether any LS boys ever wear bow ties, and here you have just posted something about that. I know one LS dad who is fond of these himself and I can imagine his son wearing them but have not yet seen it. If there is even an informal Bow Tie Tuesday or some such, I think I will get my son a bow tie to have as an option.

I take it the snap-on bow tie is frowned upon like the clip-on tie?

No one frowns upon which type or tie or bow tie - no one notices

You may not notice. But many do.

There was at least one teacher with a lot of patience and style who saw it as one of his missions to instill the love of the bow tie, to include how to properly tie one. Ask your son. He'll know who I'm talking about and will gladly help anyone with discovering the wonders of the bow tie.

[Anonymous]

We love STA and I can't say enough nice things about the school, teachers, admistration which makes me really sad to say that we are discovering that being a smart and nice kid sometimes isn't enough to make it socially at the school. My son has a lot of friends at the school and is okay during the day but the groups have begun to form and are being strongly encouraged by parents and he does not seem to be a part of this. It is not the school's fault. It is sad though to watch and we feel as though we have tried everything and nothing is helping.

[Anonymous]

Our son is in lower school and we are seeing this to, To the prior poster, would you share what grade (or range of grades?)? I wonder whether it is his grade in particular (certain grades do tend to be more cliquey); or maybe it is something that happens in a certain grade and then changes over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is in lower school and we are seeing this to, To the prior poster, would you share what grade (or range of grades?)? I wonder whether it is his grade in particular (certain grades do tend to be more cliquey); or maybe it is something that happens in a certain grade and then changes over time?

Every grade has cliques. It's unfortunate. But it happens. I know many moms blame it on other parents, attributing the phenomenon to some type of social engineering. That's BS and a cop out. Boys form their own cliques. It's personality based. Often sports based. But it is absolutely not parent-based.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son is in lower school and we are seeing this to, To the prior poster, would you share what grade (or range of grades?)? I wonder whether it is his grade in particular (certain grades do tend to be more cliquey); or maybe it is something that happens in a certain grade and then changes over time?

Every grade has cliques. It's unfortunate. But it happens. I know many moms blame it on other parents, attributing the phenomenon to some type of social engineering. That's BS and a cop out. Boys form their own cliques. It's personality based. Often sports based. But it is absolutely not parent-based.

You sound very defensive. Probably one of the cliquey moms doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is in lower school and we are seeing this to, To the prior poster, would you share what grade (or range of grades?)? I wonder whether it is his grade in particular (certain grades do tend to be more cliquey); or maybe it is something that happens in a certain grade and then changes over time?

Lower school

[Anonymous]

We often hear that its parent driven, but I'm not sure how, Seems like the boys really do pick their own friends. I do think some grades have more defined cliques than others, and some are more inclusive than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We often hear that its parent driven, but I'm not sure how, Seems like the boys really do pick their own friends. I do think some grades have more defined cliques than others, and some are more inclusive than others.

It is a combination of both but parents can make it worse. More than one poster saying so so you can't invalidate their experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son is in lower school and we are seeing this to, To the prior poster, would you share what grade (or range of grades?)? I wonder whether it is his grade in particular (certain grades do tend to be more cliquey); or maybe it is something that happens in a certain grade and then changes over time?

Every grade has cliques. It's unfortunate. But it happens. I know many moms blame it on other parents, attributing the phenomenon to some type of social engineering. That's BS and a cop out. Boys form their own cliques. It's personality based. Often sports based. But it is absolutely not parent-based.

I have three children with very different grades. The parents in one grade are very inclusive and the class demonstrates that and are very inclusive and close. On several occasions parents have reached out to include kids that are shy or struggling. The other grade has parents that are very cliquey and the class is much more divided and there are a lot of unhappy parents - more than I realized. Parents can set the tone of a grade and if you are lucky you will end up in a class that doesn't have this. Yes kids do make decisions but not always the case.