New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Very interesting about the different environment in different grades. We are hoping many new boys in our sons grade will change up the dynamic this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting about the different environment in different grades. We are hoping many new boys in our sons grade will change up the dynamic this year.

Lower school? What grade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son is in lower school and we are seeing this to, To the prior poster, would you share what grade (or range of grades?)? I wonder whether it is his grade in particular (certain grades do tend to be more cliquey); or maybe it is something that happens in a certain grade and then changes over time?

Every grade has cliques. It's unfortunate. But it happens. I know many moms blame it on other parents, attributing the phenomenon to some type of social engineering. That's BS and a cop out. Boys form their own cliques. It's personality based. Often sports based. But it is absolutely not parent-based.

What an insensitive reply to this post. Hopefully you show more compassion in your daily life than you are showing in your response to this post saying her son is struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting about the different environment in different grades. We are hoping many new boys in our sons grade will change up the dynamic this year.

What grade pp?

[Anonymous]

I've had more than one son go through the school, and I've volunteered there a lot. It's a wonderful place. And my sons are very glad that they went to STA.

The social dynamic varies greatly by entering class. Whether it's a friendly, open class or a more clique-ish class, parents do play a part. That's why -- when there is a cliquish class -- it's worst in the lowest grades. For starters, in those grades a whole cohort came over from a single school. And the parents of young boys have more say in their child's social life than later when their sons are older.

When the waves of new kids arrive in Form I and Form III, things open up quite a bit!

This dynamic happens at many schools, not just at STA. STA is actually better than some other schools on this score, but again -- it does vary by class. Things get much better as they grow older!

[Anonymous]

Thank you, very helpful reply!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting about the different environment in different grades. We are hoping many new boys in our sons grade will change up the dynamic this year.

I wonder if the grade you are in is the one I just saw something happen in front of the lower school. As I waited for my older son, I saw and heard one boy loudly invite every single boy sitting on a bench together to go to his house except one - in front of everyone else. I assume he lives close to school, because I saw them all walking together as I drove home and they left the one kid he didn't invite sitting there alone. Brutal.

[Anonymous]

Each grade has its own personality. I've had more than one son go through STA. The common denominator for the less nice grades are a disproportionate share of Chevy members, or STA alums obsessed with helmet sports, or skinny fake blond trophy wives about to be lost to a newer, shinier trophy. May sound snarky. But for those in the know, you know this rings true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Each grade has its own personality. I've had more than one son go through STA. The common denominator for the less nice grades are a disproportionate share of Chevy members, or STA alums obsessed with helmet sports, or skinny fake blond trophy wives about to be lost to a newer, shinier trophy. May sound snarky. But for those in the know, you know this rings true.

Count up the number of Suburbans in the grade. Five or more, yellow alert. If you hit double digits, you are definitely in the red zone - a real douchy class. I'm talking mainly about the parents, but alas, that proverbial apple doesn't fall too far from those emaciated trees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Each grade has its own personality. I've had more than one son go through STA. The common denominator for the less nice grades are a disproportionate share of Chevy members, or STA alums obsessed with helmet sports, or skinny fake blond trophy wives about to be lost to a newer, shinier trophy. May sound snarky. But for those in the know, you know this rings true.

I can count maybe on one hand these so called "skinny fake blonde wives" you are alluding to. If that at all. You obviously don't know the school. Most of the women are highly educated and successful professionals. Sure there are divorces - but the skinny blonde stereotype you speak of is more out in the burbs not at Sta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each grade has its own personality. I've had more than one son go through STA. The common denominator for the less nice grades are a disproportionate share of Chevy members, or STA alums obsessed with helmet sports, or skinny fake blond trophy wives about to be lost to a newer, shinier trophy. May sound snarky. But for those in the know, you know this rings true.

I can count maybe on one hand these so called "skinny fake blonde wives" you are alluding to. If that at all. You obviously don't know the school. Most of the women are highly educated and successful professionals. Sure there are divorces - but the skinny blonde stereotype you speak of is more out in the burbs not at Sta.

Agree - that stereotype just isnt prevalent at STA. I can not think of even one in my son's upper school class. First of all, there is a great deal of diversity at STA so not a huge amount of blondes (a decent amojnt but bnot as many as at other area schools). Second, the predominantly white, rich, preppy Chevy crowd would likely ostrasized a woman like that as that group is fairly unattractive and dowdy - lots of frizzy bobs and eye wrinkles in boring out-dated clothes. Nope, no "skinny fake blonde trophy wives" in that crowd.

[Anonymous]

Agree regarding diversity. So many families from so many backgrounds. Common denominator is probably that everyone is very educated. The Chevy chase club crowd is probably more stereotypical "white and preppy" but not in the skinny trophy wife kind of way. I see more of those moms at Landon and the wealthy suburban public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree regarding diversity. So many families from so many backgrounds. Common denominator is probably that everyone is very educated. The Chevy chase club crowd is probably more stereotypical "white and preppy" but not in the skinny trophy wife kind of way. I see more of those moms at Landon and the wealthy suburban public schools.

Common denominator is that everyone is pretty darned accomplished, whether they are in the private or public sectors, whether they are attorneys or physicians or bankers or in real estate...all at the top of their game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree regarding diversity. So many families from so many backgrounds. Common denominator is probably that everyone is very educated. The Chevy chase club crowd is probably more stereotypical "white and preppy" but not in the skinny trophy wife kind of way. I see more of those moms at Landon and the wealthy suburban public schools.

Common denominator is that everyone is pretty darned accomplished, whether they are in the private or public sectors, whether they are attorneys or physicians or bankers or in real estate...all at the top of their game.

Or their parents and/or grandparents were at the top of theirs...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree regarding diversity. So many families from so many backgrounds. Common denominator is probably that everyone is very educated. The Chevy chase club crowd is probably more stereotypical "white and preppy" but not in the skinny trophy wife kind of way. I see more of those moms at Landon and the wealthy suburban public schools.

Common denominator is that everyone is pretty darned accomplished, whether they are in the private or public sectors, whether they are attorneys or physicians or bankers or in real estate...all at the top of their game.

Or their parents and/or grandparents were at the top of theirs...

Meh. There are more than a handful of families who may have been real-deal Washington Cave Dwellers a few generations ago, but are clearly on a downward spiral, slowly inching there way with each generation into the, eek, upper-middle class.