New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, you made me laugh. I asked because I know the older kids can buy snacks at the snack bar but the younger ones cannot. I promise I will not try to walk him in the door.

But he will likely be hungry before lunch. And if you check the title of the thread, maybe you could understand why I posted my question. Thanks!

If your little snowflake is hungry before lunch, he will have to gut it out like all the other boys. It's one of the many ways STA instills grit. My best advice honey is to resist the temptation to baby your little baby. Once he steps through those STA doors, and yes, very much without you in tow, he is on his way to manhood. Get used to it. It's why you worked so hard to get him there. Now let him go.

[Anonymous]

STA should start a parent listserv. A lot of schools have non-public listserv a for their community.

[Anonymous]

What is STA?

[Anonymous]

What is STA?

[Anonymous]

What is STA? (I thought it was a game)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, you made me laugh. I asked because I know the older kids can buy snacks at the snack bar but the younger ones cannot. I promise I will not try to walk him in the door.

But he will likely be hungry before lunch. And if you check the title of the thread, maybe you could understand why I posted my question. Thanks!

If your little snowflake is hungry before lunch, he will have to gut it out like all the other boys. It's one of the many ways STA instills grit. My best advice honey is to resist the temptation to baby your little baby. Once he steps through those STA doors, and yes, very much without you in tow, he is on his way to manhood. Get used to it. It's why you worked so hard to get him there. Now let him go.

There is some weirdo always referencing "snowflakes" on this forum -- don't worry about it. Your post was very reasonable for a thread specifically aimed at "new STA parents seeking advice or suggestions." I doubt this unpleasant person is actually a parent at the school, btw -- classic trolling behavior. Fourth graders are still little boys which the school understands and, although they encourage them to grow and be independent, they know parents have questions/concerns and they don't treat 10 year olds like little men. The first day with the Cathedral service (which is very moving, I think) will be a good opportunity for you to mingle a bit with some other parents and I bet they can answer your question about snacks. Good luck, it really is a nice place.

[Anonymous]

The boys are not allowed to eat in the hallways and classrooms so, no, he will not be able to bring snacks. C formers dont have lockers either (prior response notwithstanding). It will be okay though, PP. His homeroom teacher will likely figure out a plan for the boys who are hungry before or after lunch. He will not be the first boy who gets hungry. In 7th my son was always hungry. His advisor would keep boxes of protein bars in her office for him so he could have a snack during advisory. He would go in with a box every week or so and give the box to her to keep for him. It was an easy work arpund. Do not just send him in to school with snacks to eat on his own. That is not allowed.

[Anonymous]

We love STA. As the prior posters suggest, if there is a special dietary need, or your C Former gets hungrier than your average Bulldog, the school can accomodate. But at the same time, especially in C Form, non-conformity or perceived weaknesses can be used by the other boys in a not so nice way. Again, we love the place. It really is a brotherhood. But especially in C Form where everyone is trying to figure out the pecking order, be wary of sticking out in this type of way. It's not Lord of the Flies per se, but there is still an underlying cliquish, mild bullying that occurs as early (and maybe especially) in C Form.

[Anonymous]

Oh no, we have an incoming C form son. Not at all what I wanted to read just before the start of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, we have an incoming C form son. Not at all what I wanted to read just before the start of the year.

Take a deep breath. It will be fine. If you ever walk through the school at recess time the youngest boys are playing so many funny and imaginative games -- it really does seem to be a happy place. If you talk to some of the STA boys of high school age they generally have very fond memories of C Form and lower school. Remember, also, that kids are small human beings, with some of the complexities of being human. Not everyone will like everyone else, not everyone will be equally social or outgoing -- remember your own school days. Don't hesitate to get in touch with the school if you think there's something going on like bullying (they care and don't want to be in the dark), but otherwise, give your child the room to learn and grow and adjust to a new group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, we have an incoming C form son. Not at all what I wanted to read just before the start of the year.

Take a deep breath. It will be fine. If you ever walk through the school at recess time the youngest boys are playing so many funny and imaginative games -- it really does seem to be a happy place. If you talk to some of the STA boys of high school age they generally have very fond memories of C Form and lower school. Remember, also, that kids are small human beings, with some of the complexities of being human. Not everyone will like everyone else, not everyone will be equally social or outgoing -- remember your own school days. Don't hesitate to get in touch with the school if you think there's something going on like bullying (they care and don't want to be in the dark), but otherwise, give your child the room to learn and grow and adjust to a new group.

I agree tht if you talk to the upper school STA boys, they more often than not have very fond memories of C Form and lower school. Keep in mind, however, that these are the boys who "survived" and made it all the way through. There are a number, from a small handful, to large swaths, of boys each year who leave STA because they have been asked to by the school due to bullying behavior, or boys at the receiving end who plead with their parents to get them out of there.

It is a wonderful school. It's just not for everyone, and in an all boys environment, particularly where sports and winning are prized, you are bound to have such issues.

[Anonymous]

PP, for someone who appears to sincerely like and appreciate the school, using terms like "survived" is going to give a far more negative picture than I believe you were going for (or is merited). It is a nice place with low attrition, and there is a lot of kindness and warmth in both the lower and upper schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, for someone who appears to sincerely like and appreciate the school, using terms like "survived" is going to give a far more negative picture than I believe you were going for (or is merited). It is a nice place with low attrition, and there is a lot of kindness and warmth in both the lower and upper schools.

Absolutely a place filled with kindness and warmth. But I get the survival reference. It is an academic, athletic and social pressure cooker. The boys to their credit seem to take most of this in stride. But it exists.

[Anonymous]

Are clip on ties okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are clip on ties okay?

Yep!