My child is completely resistant to working on anything at home

[Anonymous]

I see all these posts about working with your child on X,Y or Z at home to develop skills and fill in what's not getting done at school. What if you have a kid who hates any and all kind of school work? I cannot get my kid to do any kind of academic work at home. Even just doing sight word flash cards is like pulling teeth. We also can't get him involved in games or puzzles. And how do you manage to get quiet time to do this work if you have younger siblings and you also have to manage them?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've worked with my son since before he was toddler, because he had issues at birth, and I think he thought this was normal. What was difficult was training his siblings to be respectful of our space and need for quiet. I've had to be VERY strict, enforce military-style compliance, basically. Now they follow my rules and only need a reminder every now and then.

[Anonymous]

What does he actually LIKE to do? You should work anything in around what he likes to do.

Some people are a lot more active, for instance.

Flash cards? Parents who thrust flash cards in their kids faces are evil and short sighted.
Not sure what your kids special needs are but I'd stick to anything that helps him relate to others such as games if you keep trying to supplement. Mostly you should just have fun with him after a long school day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you're going through this. I've worked with my son since before he was toddler, because he had issues at birth, and I think he thought this was normal. What was difficult was training his siblings to be respectful of our space and need for quiet. I've had to be VERY strict, enforce military-style compliance, basically. Now they follow my rules and only need a reminder every now and then.

What? Why is that good? Don't you want your child to be able to adapt to the outside world where there isn't militarized silence?

[Anonymous]

OP - how old is your child, and what subjects does he need extra support or practice in?

Does he have a specific learning disability?

[Anonymous]

Bribe or trade for screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you're going through this. I've worked with my son since before he was toddler, because he had issues at birth, and I think he thought this was normal. What was difficult was training his siblings to be respectful of our space and need for quiet. I've had to be VERY strict, enforce military-style compliance, basically. Now they follow my rules and only need a reminder every now and then.

What? Why is that good? Don't you want your child to be able to adapt to the outside world where there isn't militarized silence?

I did not write that.

I wrote that I have had to be very strict. When I tell them to do something, they do it. Our days used to be extremely regimented, with a time and place for all activities, to minimize questions about schedule, whining and procrastinating. My son with special needs knew he had to practice X and Y every day at A and B times, and his siblings knew they had to leave us alone at those times, without getting into trouble. I've juggled several kids working at the kitchen table at once, which can be exhausting when they all need help and everyone's tired. I have had to teach them to wait their turn, be patient and respectful, and at times when problematic behaviors emerged and challenging needs could not be met, it felt like an impossible task.

Now my children are older (the youngest is 6), they are much more responsible and understand the bigger long-term goals, so I have become flexible accordingly. I am so thankful that the difficult days are over! My son still needs a lot of help, but it's a management-type help instead of a constant hand-over-hand kind.

[Anonymous]

I also make my kid work... I have always told my child that I know it's not easy and that he has to work harder than other kids. He has ASD but no learning disabilities. That is important. If your child has an LD, you have to understand how to work with your child.

As for tips: start with board games. There are so many sight word games like Zingo or math-based board games.

I also trade for screen time. If he reads a book, he can have 20 minutes of Minecraft.

We also do something I call M&M Math where we use m&m's for counting then he gets to eat them.

You just have to find a way to make it fun. Flashcards and worksheets are just not fun.

[Anonymous]

There is no need to routinely drill your child, workbook your child, flashcard them, or "fill in the gaps" with a child who is doing well in school. I also see this attitude on DCUM and it mystifies me and speaks to parents' anxieties and helicoptering more than to any production of advantages for their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no need to routinely drill your child, workbook your child, flashcard them, or "fill in the gaps" with a child who is doing well in school. I also see this attitude on DCUM and it mystifies me and speaks to parents' anxieties and helicoptering more than to any production of advantages for their children.

Plus a million.

You don't need to do workbooks or flashcards even when they are doing poorly in school. Rote memory approaches are not helpful for kids with LDs.

OP, What age is your kid? If he/she is not actually in school, go stand in the corner for a time out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no need to routinely drill your child, workbook your child, flashcard them, or "fill in the gaps" with a child who is doing well in school. I also see this attitude on DCUM and it mystifies me and speaks to parents' anxieties and helicoptering more than to any production of advantages for their children.

Plus a million.

You don't need to do workbooks or flashcards even when they are doing poorly in school. Rote memory approaches are not helpful for kids with LDs.

OP, What age is your kid? If he/she is not actually in school, go stand in the corner for a time out.

Minus a million, we found it very helpful in our child starting to catch up. We supplement at home and do workbooks. Rote memory works best for our child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no need to routinely drill your child, workbook your child, flashcard them, or "fill in the gaps" with a child who is doing well in school. I also see this attitude on DCUM and it mystifies me and speaks to parents' anxieties and helicoptering more than to any production of advantages for their children.

Plus a million.

You don't need to do workbooks or flashcards even when they are doing poorly in school. Rote memory approaches are not helpful for kids with LDs.

OP, What age is your kid? If he/she is not actually in school, go stand in the corner for a time out.

Minus a million, we found it very helpful in our child starting to catch up. We supplement at home and do workbooks. Rote memory works best for our child.

But catching up academically is often not the big challenge. Often times catching up socially/fitting in and being comfortable in your own skin is the big challenge and flash cards don't really help with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no need to routinely drill your child, workbook your child, flashcard them, or "fill in the gaps" with a child who is doing well in school. I also see this attitude on DCUM and it mystifies me and speaks to parents' anxieties and helicoptering more than to any production of advantages for their children.

Plus a million.

You don't need to do workbooks or flashcards even when they are doing poorly in school. Rote memory approaches are not helpful for kids with LDs.

OP, What age is your kid? If he/she is not actually in school, go stand in the corner for a time out.

Minus a million, we found it very helpful in our child starting to catch up. We supplement at home and do workbooks. Rote memory works best for our child.

Well your child belies decades of educational research:
http://neatoday.org/2014/11/25/deeper-learning-moving-students-beyond-memorization-2/

"As students work their way though school, they may be memorizing information in each grade level, but are they really learning? In the era of No Child Left Behind (NCLB), the answer likely ‘no’ – or at least not in way that will actually promotes critical thinking and communication..."

Multi-sensory approaches are best: https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/partnering-with-childs-school/instructional-strategies/multisensory-instruction-what-you-need-to-know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no need to routinely drill your child, workbook your child, flashcard them, or "fill in the gaps" with a child who is doing well in school. I also see this attitude on DCUM and it mystifies me and speaks to parents' anxieties and helicoptering more than to any production of advantages for their children.

Plus a million.

You don't need to do workbooks or flashcards even when they are doing poorly in school. Rote memory approaches are not helpful for kids with LDs.

OP, What age is your kid? If he/she is not actually in school, go stand in the corner for a time out.

Minus a million, we found it very helpful in our child starting to catch up. We supplement at home and do workbooks. Rote memory works best for our child.

But catching up academically is often not the big challenge. Often times catching up socially/fitting in and being comfortable in your own skin is the big challenge and flash cards don't really help with that.

They are two separate issues. Why are you mixing them? If a child struggles academically, they will also have a hard time fitting in socially as well. And, they make flash cards for social situations as well as other basics. Since you have never tried them, you would not know.

[Anonymous]

A parent has to know how much they can push their child. I don't know how old OP's child is. That is a key bit of info.

For me, my child was spending so much time on the social challenges of school, that we HAD to work at home. No question. This allows my child to feel more confident in the class setting. But we did fun learning games. We have never done flash cards.