Would you tell your kid his IQ if he asked?

[Anonymous]

DS asked and it's a moot point since I don't actually know. Apparently, a friend told DS what his IQ was and now DS is curious about the concept and his score. I don't see the point of knowing. I explained that either he'd feel bad or the other kid would feel bad. He thought that was a valid concern but I have a feeling it will come up again. How would you handle the situation?

[Anonymous]

My mom never told me mine and made a huge deal out of not telling me. I was tested in 2nd grade (FCPS), got into GT and yet I definitely don't feel like I'm as smart as my mom made me out to be. I have a terrible memory for the written word and it's not a desirable trait in school. I doubt the number is anywhere close to the same as I got when I was 7 years old. My point is, tell him the number but tell him it's a snapshot in time and may not mean anything. Remind him that hard work and persistence will get you a lot farther in life than IQ.

[Anonymous]

My mother didn't tell me until I was older. Doesn't matter. It's what you do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS asked and it's a moot point since I don't actually know. Apparently, a friend told DS what his IQ was and now DS is curious about the concept and his score. I don't see the point of knowing. I explained that either he'd feel bad or the other kid would feel bad. He thought that was a valid concern but I have a feeling it will come up again. How would you handle the situation?

You basically told him that people should feel bad if their IQ isn't as high as someone else's. Do you think that's true? If so, please don't hang out with my kid?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I told him I didn't want him to worry or feel bad or anyone else to worry or feel bad. We had just discussed him feeling bad that he didnt do as well on a test as some other kids did. I told him the number wasn't important...It was how hard he worked. But yeah, some people will feel bad if their score is lower. That's a fact. I didn't say they should feel bad-I said the number wasn't important. I don't think it's something they should be comparing...it's not a competition.

[Anonymous]

I would just say I don't know what it is, because that is the truth. Done.

[Anonymous]

Nope. You are smart enough to do almost anything you want in life. Getting there isn't a question of a number a page. It's what you do with the smarts you have, and how much effort you put in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I told him I didn't want him to worry or feel bad or anyone else to worry or feel bad. We had just discussed him feeling bad that he didnt do as well on a test as some other kids did. I told him the number wasn't important...It was how hard he worked. But yeah, some people will feel bad if their score is lower. That's a fact. I didn't say they should feel bad-I said the number wasn't important. I don't think it's something they should be comparing...it's not a competition.

Sounds like you handled it well! Two thumbs up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS asked and it's a moot point since I don't actually know. Apparently, a friend told DS what his IQ was and now DS is curious about the concept and his score. I don't see the point of knowing. I explained that either he'd feel bad or the other kid would feel bad. He thought that was a valid concern but I have a feeling it will come up again. How would you handle the situation?

What a strange post. You said it is a moot point because you don't know. You then ask how we'd handle the situation because you have a feeling it will come up again. Your answer is, "I have no idea what your IQ is." Rinse. Repeat.

[Anonymous]

No. And we wish we didn't know it either. We don't know our own because our parents didn't tell us. It is not useful information.

[Anonymous]

Hey, kid, there are some topics that are not meant for polite discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS asked and it's a moot point since I don't actually know. Apparently, a friend told DS what his IQ was and now DS is curious about the concept and his score. I don't see the point of knowing. I explained that either he'd feel bad or the other kid would feel bad. He thought that was a valid concern but I have a feeling it will come up again. How would you handle the situation?

You basically told him that people should feel bad if their IQ isn't as high as someone else's. Do you think that's true? If so, please don't hang out with my kid?

Does your kid feel bad if he gets a 75% on a test but his 3 closest friends all got 95%? Does your kid feel bad if his two best buddies get 5 minute miles and he gets a 7 minute mile?

Yes, I know that the above examples are not quite the exact same thing as an IQ test. But, duh, of course we would all prefer to be the one with the 95% on the test, or the one with the faster mile time or the one with the higher IQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say I don't know what it is, because that is the truth. Done.

+1

[Anonymous]

My DD knows, she was tested and a teen, so no way not to know. The only reason parents won't tell their kids is if they think their IQ is not as high as they hoped.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. We had our child tested and the doctor said not to tell.