Would you tell your kid his IQ if he asked?
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Anonymous
| No. We told our kids that they were smart enough to do whatever they wanted and that is all they need to know. We also tell them that hard work and persistence is more important than being smart. |
Anonymous
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It's rude to ask a child to sit for a battery of tests, and not even have the courtesy to explain why and show him the results! I always tell the truth, and my relationship with my son is particularly close because he knows he can trust me. He happens to have had neuropsychological testing done, and I went over it with him. We are a family of scientists, and our son has the capacity to understand his testing results. The consequence is that he is on board with his school placement and secure within himself. All win-win. |
Anonymous
| I was in AAP-equivalent where I grew up and my mom knew my IQ but never told me. I didn't really care, and not one kid ever told me their IQ, so I have no idea if they knew theirs either. We knew each other's grades and SAT scores though. |
Anonymous
| Are IQ tests still done within the schools or only outside of the school is a parent seeks it out? |
Anonymous
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Well, if you don't know, it's easy to answer, yeah? If he wants to know why you don't know, I'd go with something along the lines of "the number doesn't matter; it's not a sign of achievement or hard work. being smart is great, but IQ tests aren't the only way to show smarts."
fwiw, my parents refused to tell me as a kid; I was tested in elementary school. I found out later that it was crazy high at the time, and they were afraid I'd get a big head. (No idea where I would test now - probably not crazy high. So, I guess I didn't get a big head?) |
Anonymous
| In the scenario you described I think you handled it well |
Anonymous
No. That's not the only reason. My TJ kid's IQ is fine. I just think that once you get above a certain threshold, the number is meaningless. He is smart enough to do anything he wants. Whether he succeeds is not a matter of a 140 vs a 150 IQ. It's a matter of him applying himself and doing the work. The actual number was interesting, because the PS vs GAI spread is a clear signal that he is ADHD. And we have discussed this discrepancy with him, without giving specific numbers, in the context of why he has 504 accommodations why he needs to use them. Besides that, we know he's smart. He knows he's smart. So but "smart" and successful cannot be boiled down to a number. |
Anonymous
| My mom scratched out my (and brother's) IQ scores from a standardized test report. But she didn't block out the score % (99+). Didn't make a difference to us. I didn't tell my own kid because 1) he didn't ask and 2) the score is average. |
Anonymous
| My kid asks me regularly for the number, and I refuse to tell him. It is high (in the 150s) and I cannot imagine anything good coming of it. He says other kids at school tell him their IQs and he wants to know his. I can only see downside to him knowing, so this is one thing I refuse to share with him. |
Anonymous
So, in other words, exactly what I said. His IQ wasn't as high and you didn't want to tell him. One score may have pulled down the overall score, and you just proved my point. |
Anonymous
How old is your kid? I think it makes a big difference if your child is a teen vs younger kid. I agree that younger kids don't need to know. |
Anonymous
Fair point. He's 10. I do anticipate telling him at some point -- maybe when he is a teen and mature enough not to be sharing that type of information when asked by others. |
Anonymous
| My parents told me when I was around 18 or 19. It helped me at a time I was feeling insecure to know that I was "inherently smart" (what I thought it meant). If I didn't have a high score I think that would have hurt me. It has also helped me remain confident when navigating DC BS. I know I'm smart and capable. Maybe it's meaningless b/c I don't think I'm as smart as I used to be (3 kids and sleepless years later), but still, I like knowing. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I would tell mine if he asked. If he asked his blood pressure or height, I would tell him that too. I would also explain that it is a private number and doesn't need to be shared. I would also explain that IQ is a general approximation of raw horse power for learning, but doesn't define anyone. It doesn't measure who can hit a baseball, who can cook, who can paint, who is a writer, or who can play the violin. It is just a private number, not so important in the world.
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Anonymous
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Yes. My mother refused to tell me mine when I was tested, and as an adult I realize that it is information that I have a right to know. I would have been fine if she had told me that she would give me the score when I reached adulthood, and she kept the documentation until then. Unfortunately she had long since lost the testing info by the time I asked as an adult, and she didn't remember the score (or so she claimed).
For my own children, I won't give them that info until they are old enough to keep it to themselves, but I will keep it safe for them. They have every right to know. |