Would you tell your kid his IQ if he asked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD knows, she was tested and a teen, so no way not to know. The only reason parents won't tell their kids is if they think their IQ is not as high as they hoped.

No. That's not the only reason. My TJ kid's IQ is fine. I just think that once you get above a certain threshold, the number is meaningless. He is smart enough to do anything he wants. Whether he succeeds is not a matter of a 140 vs a 150 IQ. It's a matter of him applying himself and doing the work. The actual number was interesting, because the PS vs GAI spread is a clear signal that he is ADHD. And we have discussed this discrepancy with him, without giving specific numbers, in the context of why he has 504 accommodations why he needs to use them. Besides that, we know he's smart. He knows he's smart. So but "smart" and successful cannot be boiled down to a number.

So, in other words, exactly what I said. His IQ wasn't as high and you didn't want to tell him. One score may have pulled down the overall score, and you just proved my point.

Nope. You are being really obtuse. . His IQ is well into the 99th percentile. He's succeeding at TJ-- he has a high IQ-- even for NOVA. I just don't think it defines him or that there is any reason he needs to know a number. Maybe you define your kid as IQ 145. My kid is a lot more interesting and complicated than that. What defines him is what his does with all the talents he was given.

My point was that around the time he entered HS, I thought it was appropriate to talk to him about his IQ in general terms because his subtest scores show some scatter (GAI v PS) , and it helps him understand why he learns the way he learns and why he gets testing accommodations. An IQ of 145 is useless info. Understanding GAI vs PS, and why a gap can cause frustration, and what strategies he should use to compensate is very helpful info.

But, if it makes you feel better, because it clearly matters a lot to you, your kid wins brilliant child of the day award from the AAP board. I'm sure/he must be so much smarter than my kid because you decided to tell him or her the IQ score and I don't. So you win...something.

Let me guess-- parent of a K-2 kid, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid asks me regularly for the number, and I refuse to tell him. It is high (in the 150s) and I cannot imagine anything good coming of it. He says other kids at school tell him their IQs and he wants to know his. I can only see downside to him knowing, so this is one thing I refuse to share with him.

How old is your kid? I think it makes a big difference if your child is a teen vs younger kid. I agree that younger kids don't need to know.

Fair point. He's 10. I do anticipate telling him at some point -- maybe when he is a teen and mature enough not to be sharing that type of information when asked by others.

The fact that your 10 year old regularly asks you what his IQ test results were is really strange. Your child knows way too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD knows, she was tested and a teen, so no way not to know. The only reason parents won't tell their kids is if they think their IQ is not as high as they hoped.

Not true. We opted not to tell our young teen (14) because we didn't want him to think he did not have to work hard. His IQ is 147. We didn't think it would be more than a 132, he doesn't present as having a super high IQ and never comes across as someone who can coast. If we were to tell him, he might think he can.

[Anonymous]

Have a 13 yr old with super high IQ (see I don't even want to say it in an anonymous forum), and we have never told him although he occasionally asks. There is no upside to telling them and when the kids are little they will always spill the beans and blurt it out.

[Anonymous]

According to multiple tests, I have a super-high IQ, and my parents told me. My father gave me the impression that it was a magical number that guaranteed me relatively effortless success.

Don't do these things with your child. They didn't give me context about how meaningless the score is, or tell me I'd have to work hard at whatever my passions were.

They and the various schools I went to had no idea what to do with me. I easily drifted through my warehouse-schools with no challenges other than trying to stave off boredom and find ways to read and pursue my interests.

Most of my interests were discouraged by my mother, who sincerely thought the only proper thing for me to want was to become a secretary and marry a man with a nice car.

Times are different now, and this area is full of bright people who know they have to work hard and work smart to make full use of whatever advantages they have. That's what I teach my kids, who are genetically pretty lucky, too.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if they ask. I've always thought honesty is an OK thing.

[Anonymous]

I guess every person with a super high iq in the county, happens to be responding to this post.

[Anonymous]

I told him he did extremely well, better than most and high enough to do whatever he wants in life if he works hard enough. I also told him IQ takes a person so far...there will always be someone smarter.
We all hit a ceiling eventually, and it's why we need to develop humility, a strong work ethic, and willingness to work through hard problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, if they ask. I've always thought honesty is an OK thing.

I don't think you can classify people as dishonest for not telling their children their IQ. There are lots of things I don't tell my children - for their own good. There is no way a child will keep that number quiet. You may be impressed by the number and now your kid goes and tells all his little friends. Whoops. Now lots of people know. C'mon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess every person with a super high iq in the county, happens to be responding to this post.

Correction: Every person with a kid with a super high IQ in this county. My friend once said, "Only 2% of the population is highly gifted and they all live in Fairfax County."

[Anonymous]

I'll tell my kid if his IQ is high. If it's not high, I'll lie and give him/her a high number anyways. Boosts their confidence and not going to hurt anyone else in anyway. Will work out good in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Where and why are all these kids getting IQ tests?

[Anonymous]

I am so imoressed that you guys think an IQ of 150 is not high enough to brag. Iq 150 is at 99.91-99.95%. You are all in fcps. I wonder why TJ never raked top math, physics, or computer prices in national and international competition. You guys failed your child.

[Anonymous]

Sure... but I don't know what it is.