How to stop comparing to other people's kids?

[Anonymous]

I feel jealous when I hear about other people's kids.

Karla is fascinated by periodic table and has been studying it for hours, Larla love reading Greek mythology, Larla loves to play chess and loves math.

My kid has been fascinated by dolls and loves reading Click magazines which are about 5 years below her reading level and pretty much hates any kind of homework.

How do they raise motivated kids?

[Anonymous]

First, I take brags with a grain of salt. I'm not impressed with what other people SAY their kids are doing because I think people exaggerate.

Additionally, we need more happy and nice kids. Some kids are late bloomers. Some early bloomers will burn out. I have no idea how old your kid is, but I would try to focus on letting her enjoy the things she likes!

[Anonymous]

PP that sounds like sensible advice to me. And OP, I'm sure you can find something wonderful about your child. Most of us won't win Nobel Prizes, but we can each contribute in our own way

[Anonymous]

+1 From that example list, sounds like it's the parents that are motivated. My DC had a very relaxed early school years attitude. Took off later big time. Of course I compared along the way in case I needed to catch early signs of trouble. And there were times that I might suggest trying something because it seemed like fun. So you'll do that too but if you view it as a positive monitoring action, may be you could relax and stop feeling bad about it. Also on the reading thing, often kids will read for pleasure much easier books because it's relaxing. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

I like hearing parents talk about their kids because it tends to be a positive thing. Do I believe everything? Not really but it's better to hear these things than to say, my kid sucks at everything, my kid can't even walk 2 blocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel jealous when I hear about other people's kids.

Karla is fascinated by periodic table and has been studying it for hours, Larla love reading Greek mythology, Larla loves to play chess and loves math.

My kid has been fascinated by dolls and loves reading Click magazines which are about 5 years below her reading level and pretty much hates any kind of homework.

How do they raise motivated kids?

Probably b/c they are interesting people, not the type of person who makes inane complaints about parenting.

[Anonymous]

Look at what your child does well. It's a good reminder for you to appreciate the kid you have, to support the kid you have, to be proud of the kid you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel jealous when I hear about other people's kids.

Karla is fascinated by periodic table and has been studying it for hours, Larla love reading Greek mythology, Larla loves to play chess and loves math.

My kid has been fascinated by dolls and loves reading Click magazines which are about 5 years below her reading level and pretty much hates any kind of homework.

How do they raise motivated kids?

I'm laughing, OP, because my Larla is into everything you mentioned on your list. Seriously. Yeah, I'm really proud of her. But I bet you don't realize I worry that she'll be picked on in the later grades for being a big nerd. I used to proudly mention this kind of stuff but stopped because I quickly realized it was feeding other parents' anxieties in my ultra competitive neighborhood. However, nobody seems to notice my anxieties. I see all these athletic and socially sophisticated kids running around, and I do wonder if they are going to be nice to Larla in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel jealous when I hear about other people's kids.

Karla is fascinated by periodic table and has been studying it for hours, Larla love reading Greek mythology, Larla loves to play chess and loves math.

My kid has been fascinated by dolls and loves reading Click magazines which are about 5 years below her reading level and pretty much hates any kind of homework.

How do they raise motivated kids?

I'm laughing, OP, because my Larla is into everything you mentioned on your list. Seriously. Yeah, I'm really proud of her. But I bet you don't realize I worry that she'll be picked on in the later grades for being a big nerd. I used to proudly mention this kind of stuff but stopped because I quickly realized it was feeding other parents' anxieties in my ultra competitive neighborhood. However, nobody seems to notice my anxieties. I see all these athletic and socially sophisticated kids running around, and I do wonder if they are going to be nice to Larla in middle school.

This. My child is great at reading and math, but has other issues most people may not know about. We think she may have adhd and has trouble making friends, among other things. She worries a lot and I worry she may develop anxiety. Just remember you are not always getting the whole picture. It could be other moms are jealous of your kid. Maybe she is fun, and friendly, and teachers or kids love her? Or maybe she is just easy going? Or maybe super athletic but not as brainy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel jealous when I hear about other people's kids.

Karla is fascinated by periodic table and has been studying it for hours, Larla love reading Greek mythology, Larla loves to play chess and loves math.

My kid has been fascinated by dolls and loves reading Click magazines which are about 5 years below her reading level and pretty much hates any kind of homework.

How do they raise motivated kids?

I have zero to do with my kid's interests and achievements. I think when parents realize that the competition and comparisons go away. I am not my child. I do not live through her. She has interests and I follow her lead on what books to order and what activities to enroll her. It has zero to do with me and everything to do with the child's personality. Children are individuals just like you and me. Who's responsible for your interests, OP? It's just how and who you are, correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel jealous when I hear about other people's kids.

Karla is fascinated by periodic table and has been studying it for hours, Larla love reading Greek mythology, Larla loves to play chess and loves math.

My kid has been fascinated by dolls and loves reading Click magazines which are about 5 years below her reading level and pretty much hates any kind of homework.

How do they raise motivated kids?

As someone who has one of each type, I can tell you that it has very little to do with what I do and all with the kids themselves.
The way I view it, my job is to see their interest and provide them with opportunities to explore: one with books and mythology... the other with bike ride and occasions to build fairy houses and make mud soup....
Anything that sounds like a "lesson" or a homework makes my second one want to flee... but she is happy to observe and dig for insects and then we can watch a video on insects....

Try to go with your kid's interest and a lot of hidden learning can happen.

[Anonymous]

I have a super smart kid who reads 2 grade levels ahead and asks me to write math problems for him to do for fun. He is witty and has great logic for a kid and knows lots of random facts.He also has impulse problems and is a picky eater and not very go with the flow so we avoid weeknight activities and travel is difficult.

The other one, not at the top of her class but hilarious and free spirited and creative. She's an absolute pleasure to be around (when her brother isn't around).

The couldn't be more different or more wonderful in their own ways. Don't believe facebook. No one is perfect and everyone has their strengths and weaknesses . Your kids are wonderful in some way that someone else is jealous of. Just enjoy who they are and what you have.

[Anonymous]

OP, your kid is probably less likely to get teased for being a nerd, geek or dweeb. There is something to be said for that.

My kid is smart and likes school, but at times I would trade her for a kid who is capable of organizing herself and her things. She takes after her dad that way.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about elementary school yet but I have to stop myself from comparing my 3 year old to one particular girl in his class who is extraordinarily advanced. The other kids will be doing small shape puzzles and she'll be doing 50-piece jigsaws. Correctly and quickly. Or they'll be "studying" planets and most of the kids will just parrot the words (we're looking at planets and moon) while she will discourse on how you can tell the planets apart, how you get between them in a spaceship, what astronauts eat, etc. She's incredibly verbal, appears to be very physically coordinated, and is a sweet and compliant kid to boot. I am pretty sure she will turn out to be highly gifted at a minimum. I never see her parents so I don't have to hear them brag, but it's obvious from any interaction that she is worlds away from my own kid and I have to stop myself from thinking about it. I love my son tremendously but it's hard not to wonder what it's like to raise a child like that. Especially after I've told him to do something 5 times and he's ignored me.

[Anonymous]

OP, I love your description of your kid! She sounds sweet and you sound like a parent with a good sense of humor.