Hit on by friends husband

[Anonymous]

I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Response to the wife is easy. Just state the FACTS, without speculation or inference. In other words, "Sam invited me to dinner. I declined b/c I view us as a group of friends."

If she asks about his motivation, you say that you don't have any idea. "All I know is that he invited me to dinner."

[Anonymous]

Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Why are some women shrews and others are wonderful women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

OP here, I'm not a novice to being hit on and his intent was perfectly clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

OP here, I'm not a novice to being hit on and his intent was perfectly clear.

Well, now you just sound like a conceited bitch. I agree with the fact that ANY NORMAL person would take his intention for what it was - but you don't need to add the part about not being a novice on being hit on - now you take away from your credibility.

[Anonymous]

OP- so you got a voicemail from the wife a few days ago and you still haven't responded?
By now, she is going to think that you actually hit on him. Basically you're staying quiet due to guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Response to the wife is easy. Just state the FACTS, without speculation or inference. In other words, "Sam invited me to dinner. I declined b/c I view us as a group of friends."

If she asks about his motivation, you say that you don't have any idea. "All I know is that he invited me to dinner."

OP here - I like your suggestion but I have no desire to have any contact with her husband in the future. Telling the truth would lead to he said/she said and I'm sure I'd lose unless this has happened before. Not telling the truth could lead to having to see him again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

Yes, a creeper. Poor wife. I would state exactly what happened to the wife. Probably in the future just do things with her or avoid them.

[Anonymous]

Just say, "yea, sorry, I couldn't make it. How was your trip."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Response to the wife is easy. Just state the FACTS, without speculation or inference. In other words, "Sam invited me to dinner. I declined b/c I view us as a group of friends."

If she asks about his motivation, you say that you don't have any idea. "All I know is that he invited me to dinner."

OP here - I like your suggestion but I have no desire to have any contact with her husband in the future. Telling the truth would lead to he said/she said and I'm sure I'd lose unless this has happened before. Not telling the truth could lead to having to see him again.

UH - it's actually pretty simple. Get over yourself.

You don't have to say anything - and you can choose not to see these people no matter what. I am sure that no one is going to get upset over the fact that you aren't around anymore.

If you do decide to get over yourself for a bit - I would assume the idea that his wife is calling you is based on some sort of past experience - otherwise, why would she be worried?

She is probably trying to get evidence against her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Response to the wife is easy. Just state the FACTS, without speculation or inference. In other words, "Sam invited me to dinner. I declined b/c I view us as a group of friends."

If she asks about his motivation, you say that you don't have any idea. "All I know is that he invited me to dinner."

OP here - I like your suggestion but I have no desire to have any contact with her husband in the future. Telling the truth would lead to he said/she said and I'm sure I'd lose unless this has happened before. Not telling the truth could lead to having to see him again.

No OP, you should never lie about a thing like that. Tell her the truth stating you wanted to wait until she came home to have a "couples" get together. All that needs to be said.

[Anonymous]

You don't want to see him again? Then tell her the truth about her husband.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me once and I'm married!!! We are empty nesters and my DH travels a lot and the husband of a friend of mine pulled a similar stunt saying something like "I feel we can be a lot closer." I'm not use to being hit on (married for 25 years) so it took a minute or so for me to figure out what was happening. It really creeped me out. About a year later the couple separated and that's when I told my husband what had happened. He was really upset with me for not having told him but I told him that I'm a big girl and can handle things by myself. That quieted him down. I never mentioned it to the guys wife as i did not have any proof and once they separated I assumed that she knew he was a bum. For what its worth, the other guy was overweight, bald with the sexual magnetism of a rock. That just added to the absurdity of his offer given that my DH is a great looking guy and very sexy.....at least to me!